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The One New Yearā€™s Resolution That Creates Lasting Change

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“If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.” ~Jack Dixon

I originally started to write a post offering tons of different New Year’s resolutions and tips to stick to them to create lasting change.

After all, thatā€™s what we bloggers do around the end of the year:Ā share our best practices for improving our lives as December rolls into January; compile well-researched suggestions to change, and do it consistently, despite knowing most people give up on resolutions within weeks of setting them.

Then I realized that didnā€™t feel authentic to …

Overcoming Perfectionism: The Joy of Just Okay

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“The amount of happiness that you have depends on the amount of freedom you have in your heart.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Yesterday I was talking to my dear friend Erin about all the pressures to be perfectā€”to be more than just enough. To always be striving to be 100%.

I realized later that this has been going on all my life. Haven’t we all felt it?

In grade school, the importance of getting those A’s, being on the teacher’s list, always getting the gold star.

In high school, being popular, being smart, being a jockā€”whichever lane we chose to fit …

Cracking Your Comfort Zone: How to Face a Fear

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ā€œOne day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure itā€™s worth watching.” ~Unknown

I’m about to write something that’s freaky and a bit philosophical, but true. Really take this in: You become your comfort zone.

Getting out of your comfort zone is crucial to actualizing your aspirations.

If you want something that you don’t already have, there’s a good chance you’ll have to do things that you haven’t already done.

Doing those things may not feel natural to you. You may even feel uncomfortable and awkward. But ultimately, behind the frightening facade of fear is a bigger version …

Review & Giveaway: The Power of Receiving

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Sometimes in the name of being good we forget to be good to ourselves. We put so much energy into meeting other people’s needs that we fail to meet our own. And yet that doesn’t change that we have needs; it just pushes us to deny them or to find manipulative ways of getting them met.

For the longest time, I felt certain that good people put everyone else first. They stretch themselves, bend over backward, and even completely exhaust themselves if it means making everyone else happy.

I also thought giving would naturally invite reciprocity. Inevitably, after months of …

Does Life Just Happen to You?

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ā€œThe more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.ā€ ~Shakti

Does life just happen to you?

Would it be safe to suggest that a lot of people wake up each morning, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch television, go to bed, and repeat the same course of events Monday through Friday, without ever being fully conscious of what they’re doing?

The events listed above may differ for some people, but the point is still the same. Does life just happen to you, or do you consciously …

Having Faith: Why Do We Expect the Worst in Tomorrow?

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“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

Over the past few years, as I’ve settled into my late twenties, life seems to have opened the flood gates to a number of lessons and realities. With each of these hardships or challenges Iā€™ve overcome, I’ve taken with me a lesson of new wisdom, deeper compassion, self-awareness, humility, and empathy for others.

On that same note, I have also noticed that with each experience, I seem to begin treading more carefully in my approach to future situations, treating …

How to Love Your Authentic Self

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“You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

In our personal development-focused, life coach-dependent world, itā€™s all too easy to think you need to change. Not just the things you do, but who you are.

Itā€™s one thing to invite transformation for the sake of growth, improvement, and new possibilities. Itā€™s another thing to feel so dissatisfied with yourself that no amount of change could possibly convince you that youā€™re worthy and lovable.

This type of intrinsic self-loathing formed the basis of my adolescence and some of my …

5 Steps to Achieving Your New Years Travel Resolutions

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“Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” ~Miriam Beard

Next year, I plan to visit two countries as part of my New Year’sĀ “Travel Resolutions.” First is Indonesia, as I’ve always wanted to see Borobudur and, of course, Yogyakarta, center of Javenese culture.

In the second half of the year, I want to reward myself with a big overseas trip because by that time, I’m hopefully done with my master’s thesis (woo-hoo!). It’s a choice between Europe and Egypt.

I will visit at least …

Mindfulness Giveaway: Win Awake at the Wheel Mindful Driving CDs

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Update: This winners for this giveaway have already been chosen.Subscribe to the Tiny Buddha List to learn about future contests!

When I was twenty-one years old, I got into a series of car accidents just after getting my license.

The first time, I drove the wrong way down a one-way street. The second time I side-swiped a double-parked car trying to get around it. And the third time, I hit a Channel 7 news van while looking at printed directions in the middle of Big Dig construction madness (not my proudest moment).

In all of those instances, I was …

Dealing with Other Peopleā€™s Road Rage & Letting Go of Anger

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“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.” ~Buddha

It happens all the time…

You’re driving, listening to music, just enjoying life and the feel of the road. Then a car roars past you and the driver promptly swerves and cuts you off, seemingly oblivious to anything but his own destination.

Or, you come to a full stop at a stop sign and the driver behind you lays on the horn, impatient for you to get moving. Glancing in your rear view mirror, you see him flailing his arms and punching a raised …

Let Go of Negative Feelings: 3 Ways to Watch Them Disappear

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“Some people think it’s holding that makes one strong–sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

I’m the divorced mother of two teenage girls. Holidays are split; the girls have Thanksgiving with their dad and Christmas with me on even-numbered years, and vice versa on odd number years. It’s hard on all of us, but it has been especially hard on me this year.

This year I had Thanksgiving with my girls the weekend before Thanksgiving and asked if they wanted come over on Black Friday to set up the Christmas tree, as was the tradition before. They said sure.

I called them …

Productivity and Happiness: Why Are We So Busy?

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“Life is what happens when you are making other plans.” ~John Lennon

There have been times in my life when I believed all my happiness revolved around how busy I was. If I was busy, I was using time wisely. If I was busy, I was proving to myself that I was valuable. If I was busy, I was creating the possibility of a better life in the future. Any threat to my productivity was a threat to my sense of hope.

Being busy didn’t make me feel happy, but it created the illusion that I was somehow …

5 Tips To Help You To Discover Your Maximum Potential

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“You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Donā€™t doubt yourself. You are more than enough.

You are good enough. If no one else tells you that, I will reaffirm that you are good enough to do whatever you want in life. Life is too short for you to paralyze yourself with doubts.

I used to doubt my capabilities, and I was so unhappy and frustrated with life. I tried to bury myself in self-help books to find the answers to achieve success and happiness. One …

Starting a New Life: The Courage of a Seed

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ā€œWhen I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~Lao Tzu

At lunch the other day, a new friend and I were discussing changes in our lives and how everything feels very new and different.

I remembered the most beautiful description Mark Nepo wrote in The Book of Awakening. Mark is a poet, and he sees the world through such a lovely light. His work opens my heart to images Iā€™ve never thought about that are so compelling.

I can see the way Mark describes the process of change in my own life. He …

8 Ideas for Stress-Free, Meaningful Holiday Gift Giving

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“You make a living by what you get; you make a life by what you give.” ~Unknown

Thereā€™s something magical about this time of year, and it has nothing to do with the Santas posted like soldiers at various points throughout the globe or the million volts of electricity that light up Main Streets the world over.

Iā€™ve always loved Christmastime because the season inspires people to focus on everything that’s important in life.

The usually harried slow down just a little to stop and smell the mistletoe, while humming along to redundant Christmas songs they secretly enjoy. Fighting relatives …

Identifying Real Problems & Letting Go of Imagined Ones

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“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

We all have problems, don’t we? There isn’t a single person on this planet who doesn’t have one, even if they’re the Buddhist monk living their life peacefully. Everyone has something to overcome.

There’s nothing wrong with having a problem. Life would be pretty dull if they weren’t around, and we’d never learn anything new or grow from our mistakes.

Sometimes, though, we create problems that have no real foundations. These are the ones that can cause us the most suffering because it seems …

The Beginner’s Guide to Simple Daily Happiness

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“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”~Dalai Lama

Some days I wake up with rocket fuel in my veins, ready to take the day by storm. Happiness comes totally natural. But on others it can feel like I have lead weights strapped to my shoes.

Have you ever been there?

We all have.

Happiness is a practice. It’s on us to learn it.

While some days are easier to find a smile than others, happiness is a daily choice. It’s a mindset we can nurture and train. That doesn’t mean it’s there every second, but …

Finding Joy in the Ruins of a Crushed Dream

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“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

Five months ago, my partner Mike and I were offered jobs as English teachers in a school in China. Excitedly, we moved everything we owned into storage, organized our passports and visas, said farewell to our loved ones, and left our home in Melbourne within a month, not to be home again for a year.

We had just started to settle in …

Finding Strengths in Weaknesses

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“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses.ā€ ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

After writing my last post for Tiny Buddha, 5 Steps to Accept your Weaknesses, I had an intense few days involving an extremely spiritually and emotionally significant relationship that has recently ended, or at least ended in one form.

I found myself sobbing so uncontrollably in my kitchen that I was choking. Each day, there seemed to be another upwelling of grief. When I saw that my beloved ex-partner was potentially interested in someone else, that grief broke through with renewed intensity. These feelings are all normal and to …

Fostering the Right Attitude: Know Who You Are

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ā€œI urge you to try not to get hung up in the mentality that says ‘I hope I donā€™t lose him (or her),’ but foster the attitude that says ‘He should be appreciative of having me in his life.'”

I read these words in the midst of a downward emotional spiral, and they grounded me almost immediately.

I was fifty-three when I read Marieā€™s words. I was in the eighth year of my relationship with my husband and realized that I had become a shell of the woman I was when I first met him. Amidst all the compromises I’d …