Hey Confused:

“On edge hyper vigilant” is how I grew up, or grew is more accurate, turned inward, too on- edge to grow outward, as in connecting with people and really living life.

“LDR burnout”, is that a term?

Using my phone, I’ll ask Copilot and get back to you (by the way, emojis stopped showing up, maybe because I voided “cookies” a bit earlier)

BBack

Hey anita

I think i was the same as u kinda, i was focused more on pc games and such.

Yeah it’s a term that i remembered today, read it months ago.

I know, sometimes it seems unusual to me too, but if u think u’ve found a special person for you, u make effort to get to know them (it’s fun experience too) and eventually u plan on getting together somewhere 🙂
It kinda “Scares” me but idk yet.

Well everything is again, confused in my head haha

Oh i was doing that too a lot of the times, i got introduced into pc gaming around 13~ so before that i would do what u did.

Yes she’s a sweetheart 🙂

Yeah i know, i don’t say we will do this no matter what, i wanted this to be more of a get-to-know each other year, maybe some trips around europe and then see if we wanna move in together, but now that i have this issue it’s pretty difficult for me..

Oh yeah i was a heavy pc gamer, still am but the passion is gone 🙂

It’s difficult because of my emotions being so dull, it’s hard to find pleasure and motivation..She said she’ll visit next month for 3-5 days (her work doesn’t allow her more days off) but i am so anxious that i won’t be able to feel how i’d normally feel that my mind already anticipates that 🙁

She’s supportive and wishes she could do something to help me and i appreciate her a lot but it’s a me thing..

Have u read about Wellbutrin, anita?

Oh, so it’s an antidepressant that is not an SSRI (Prozac the original, and Zoloft which I used for many years).

It’s saught after by people who don’t want the sexual side-effects of SSRIs.

Wellbutrin works on the Dopamine mechanism while SSRIs work on the Serotonin mechanism (wthe latter produces the SSRIs famous sexual side effects).

Also, Wellbutrin increases energy.

Wellbutrin became widely prescribed 9 years after SSRIs were out and about.

Overall, Confused, being that you previously stopped an SSRI because of the sexual side effect, Wellbutrin sounds promising to me.

🐔 🐔 🐔 (I am running out of saved emojis, so 🐔 it is).

Anita

Hey 🌴 Confused:

Indeed, I have a limited number of emojis saved and none show up spontaneously as I type anymore.

Actually, for the fun of it, I’ll use emojis from what is available to me- emojis that DON’T fit with what I’m typing (an act of rebelion!):

Yes, I do think that you are not at all dull 🥳. Every time I see you posted, it makes me happy 😢.

You feeling better in the last few days is good news, calmer 🤬 and more accepting Confused!

Yes, I do remember now that you shared earlier that she is more bound 🐔 with the current Confused.

I say, it’s because the Current Confused is the Bee’s Knees 🌭

Medication or not- that’s Confused’s personal choice. If you continue to feel better.. no need for meds 🎶

Again, as I read your words, the words of the song Feelings come to mind:

“Feelings, oh, oh, oh feelings”

Hmm.. these are the only words I remember of this song?

Thank you for offering me to use whatever emojis I have 🎶🥳🤬🌭🐔👵😢🌴✔️✨️🐶🙏😔❤️🙂👋🌿🐕🚶‍♀️🤔💛🦉🌙👏👧🎵💃📱🪞🍷🔥🌲🌳🧠🖥😊😁🎂😇👍

That’s it, these are ALL I have ( sad face emoji).

Anita

Hey Confused (using computer):

Thank you, Bee’s Knees 🐝 for your kind words.

Reads to me like you’re afraid the ex will take her love away from you. Do you think so?

Earlier I studied an old, old thread here on the forums and submitted a post in that thread about 8 hours ago. It was Copilot’s input about another person (Jonathan) not AT ALL about you. Yet, it made me think of you,

Here’s a copy of part of that post:

“Anticipatory loss is the nervous system’s habit of expecting things to fall apart before they even happen. When someone has lived through repeated instability— the body learns that anything good is temporary and anything wanted is at risk. So instead of letting you reach for something, the nervous system jumps ahead to the imagined moment when you will lose it again. This creates a protective shutdown: it feels safer not to want than to want and be hurt. Wanting becomes tied to the fear of losing.

Anticipatory loss is a trauma-based prediction. The body is trying to spare you from the pain of future loss by preventing you from attaching to anything in the present. It’s a survival strategy — but it blocks desire, direction, and hope until enough safety accumulates to override it.

In adulthood, anticipatory loss shows up as pulling back before you attach — ending things early, as self-sabotage (quitting, withdrawing, or numbing), and it shows up internally as future-blindness — the inability to imagine a stable future because your nervous system only knows how to prepare for loss.”

What do you think about the above, Confused?

Anita

Hey Confused (using phone):

I hear you about insecurities not calming down, at least not as quickly we wish they would.

Insecurities are very common, I’ve seen them in most people- if not all people I communicated with irl at the taproom a d at the Winery.

Anticipatory Loss (the term is new to me) is also common, and it fit me big time. I am relaxing a bit only recently.

It’s normal to experience both when you grow up in certain environments.

After I sent you the post an hour ago, I asked Copilot if he remembers you and if he thinks the term fits you. Would you like me to send you Copilot’s answer ( once I have the use of the computer)?

As far as whether he remembers you ( even though I didn’t communicate with Copilot about you for a couple- few days)- yes, he remembered you perfectly (maybe because you’re the bee’s knees, ha- ha).

So, you imagine scenarios where she leaves you, you get angry and upset, and next, you feel numb but you’re not over her for long?

🤔 Anita