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Category “change & challenges”

3 Ways to Transform Anxiety into Positive Energy

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“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” ~Proverb

A few months ago, I moved from the metropolitan east coast to rural Indiana and bunked up with my grandparents to help them sell their house.

The house has finally sold, and now I am faced with options for where to go next. In other words, my future is completely uncertain at this point, and I’m experiencing quite a bit of anxiety over it.

On the real, I’m silently, and at times not so silently, freaking out.

Anxiety is so annoying in that it can be completely paralyzing. It is …

Reframing Rejection: Getting Rejected Doesn’t Always Have to Hurt

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“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

When I entered college, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I was going to be an actuary, just like my sister.

Judy had just graduated, and she loved her job. My sister and I are very similar (both of us are math nerds, for example), so I knew I would love it too.

While my school didn’t have an Actuarial Science major or any formal preparation for the career, I was able to get ahead, passing the qualifying exams …

Overcoming Anxiety: Moving from Fear to Presence

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“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela

When I was a trainee teacher at a Cambridge University, I attended one of the oldest, most sought-after colleges, where most of the other graduate students were astrophysicists and economists, and 90% male.

They also seemed to come from families that were in some way related to the Queen of England, whereas I was a young, pregnant, trainee high school teacher whose nearest connection to Queens was owning a Freddie Mercury single, and I was a little shy.

Formal college dinners were a …

6 Steps to Release Your Fear and Feel Peaceful

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“We are not what we know but what we are willing to learn.” ~Mary Catherine Bateson

It was a balmy spring morning and I started my day as per usual, but I soon realized that my mind was entertaining fearful thoughts about my financial insecurity.

With many new ventures within the seedling stage, my income flow was erratic and unpredictable, while my financial responsibilities were consistent and guaranteed. At the time I ignored these thoughts as “petty,” like a parent dismissing a crying child after a mild fall on the pavement.

What I didn’t realize was that my mind wanted …

The People We Need to Forgive Can be Our Greatest Teachers

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“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~Marianne Williamson

I lay huddled in a ball, my arms tightly around my knees, screaming at the top of my lungs. “Stop!” I wailed.

It was November 30, 2006. The next day I was turning 13, and it seemed like my life was crumbling before my eyes.

Earlier that night I was on my computer mindlessly clicking, with the usual soundtrack in the background, my mother and stepfather screaming at each other—until I heard a shattering smash. For minutes the house lay silent.

I …

The World’s Top 7 Life-Changing Gurus

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“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs  

Where do you turn when life gets you down? Who’s your hero, your mentor, your pillar of strength amidst the turmoil?

Haven’t we all had those days when life just seems to be a battle? I know I certainly have. And then there are times when there’s an ongoing challenge that grabs hold of us and just won’t let go.

What can you do? Where do you get your strength—your answers?

For a lot of us, we look to …

Moving on from a Mistake: 5 Tips to Relieve Your Pain

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“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard

We all make mistakes, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that when we’re in the midst of them. We try to avoid them at all costs because the pain and price can be high.

It can cost us our jobs, our reputations, or our driving records.

In their election ads, political candidates often focus on their opponents’ negative aspects in order to make us vote for them instead. It’s almost as if we’re voting for the person least likely to …

Does Your Day Start Out Perfect and Then Fall Apart?

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“He is able who thinks he is able.” ~Buddha

I really needed to finish up a task. I’d already spent five more days than the one I’d estimated it would take. My boss was getting edgy; my co-workers were looking at me funny.

Every day I’d come in, have my plan-of-attack all thought out. It should have progressed well—quickly even. And then something would happen.

One day, the computer hardware I was using for months suddenly stopped and wouldn’t turn on. (Motherboard bad—two days.)

Another day, the software I installed, which runs flawlessly on several other systems, randomly crashed with …

Buy Less: Take the Fear and Compulsion Out of Shopping

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by Lori Deschene

“Throw moderation to the winds, and the greatest pleasures bring the greatest pains.” ~Democritus

Around the holidays we tend to talk more about consumerism. Especially knowing that Black Friday started even earlier than usual this year (on Thursday night), a lot of us feel that our consumption has gotten out of hand.

Many people I know have suggested we should curb our impulse to buy and only purchase necessities, but I can’t help but wonder if perhaps the solution is less about extremism and more about moderation.

Making a drastic change can seem appealing when we’re frustrated …

5 Tips to Help You Embrace Extreme Change

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“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance” ~Alan Watts

My obsession at an early age became to follow my heart—a life’s search for meaning, adventure, and enlightenment.

This search has been remarkable, a journey that has brought me to fascinating places for extended stays (Japan, the UK, Australia, you name the place) and has led me to relationships with some of the most interesting, loving people from around the globe.

As exhilarating the feeling of following your heart can be, it’s not always the yellow brick …

Transcending Your Fear Using Courage and Boldness

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“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear” ~Ambrose Redmoon

I hear the words courage and boldness thrown around a lot in the self-growth world, often as the same thing.

Or that the notion of true courage and boldness only looks like this big, huge, daring action, like a hero out of a movie lunging into a fearful situation.

Courage and boldness always confused me and I thought they were pretty much the same thing.

But once I learned the difference between them, I was able to have this …

Courting Chaos: Embrace the Unexpected and Grow Into Yourself

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“In chaos, there is fertility.” ~Anais Nin

“You know you’re eating tongue tacos, right?” asked the slight Mexican hipster beside me. I choked, wide-eyed.

“I thought it was just beef,” I stuttered, surveying the thick slabs of juicy meat I’d just been scarfing down. He subtly rolled his wide brown eyes. What a gringa, I’m sure he was thinking.

It was an inauspicious start, but this unexpected event ended up setting off a chain reaction of positive events in my life.

My new friend Juan invited me back to a studio where his friend’s rock band was recording. …

3 Things Panic Attacks Don’t Want You To Know

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“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” ~Eckhart Tolle 

Sunday started out with a panic attack.

It wasn’t little butterflies in the stomach like right before a first kiss. It wasn’t the feeling of anticipation as a rollercoaster slowly climbs the big hill before the drop.

This panic attack felt like I was about to jump off a cliff, while being chased by clowns. Not cute clowns—scary ones. The kind of clowns that were in the paintings at my pediatrician’s office when I was a kid. The clowns that smiled at me smugly when I was getting …

Freeing Yourself When You Feel Limited or Stuck

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“The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage.” ~Thucydides

The society I was born in—urban, rich, conservative India—did not encourage women to make life choices for themselves. I was not given a vote in my own education, or in the choice of a husband when I turned twenty years old. These decisions were left to the family elders.

And yet, my heart was always a bit of a free bird.

Despite being “expected” to be a homemaker after marriage, there was always a yearning in me to be somewhere else, doing something else. I …

How Pain Teaches Us to Live Fully

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“The secret of joy is the mastery of pain.” ~Anais Nin

There have been times when I’ve experienced pain when all I wanted was for its cessation.

I’m not sure whether I’m “unique” in my experience of pain or in how many times in my life I’ve had to deal with physical pain. While I don’t consider myself “cursed” by it, I’ve endured enough of it to become somewhat of an “expert” on its presence and its effects.

Besides the normal cuts and scrapes that we all experience, I’ve had the (un?)fortunate luck of having had—at separate times in my …

Reaching Out for Help When The Road Gets Rough

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“Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak.” ~Lori Deschene

There was a time in my life when I struggled to share my pain. I actually took great pride in how stubborn I had become. It wasn’t until I started looking within myself that these prideful attitudes started to shift. Actually, my whole life started to change.

Once I started my journey of self-discovery, I no longer wanted to deal with my pain by myself. I slowly reached out to others and asked them for help.

It was in …

30 Ways to Improve Your Mood When You’re Feeling Down

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“The secret of joy is the mastery of pain.” ~ Anais Nin  

When I was eighteen, I got depressed and stayed depressed for a little over a year. For over a year, every single day was a battle with myself. For over a year, every single day felt heavy and pointless.

I have since made tremendous progress by becoming more self-aware, practicing self-love, and noticing the infinite blessings and possibilities in my life, but I still have days when those familiar old feelings sneak up on me.

I’m not always self-aware, I don’t always love myself, and sometimes I …

What You Need to Do If You’re Struggling with an Eating Disorder

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“The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.” ~C. C. Scott

It starts accidentally.

Addicts don’t plan to become addicted to a substance or behavior. It’s an invisible progression, a newly discovered way to feel peace, trust, and control.

You don’t remember the day you became addicted—the day your addiction became your identity.

You do, however, remember the relief of the first time your addiction helped you cope.

Many bulimics remember in vivid detail the day their eating disorders started. Up until that moment, they suffered with chaotic home environments, low self-esteem, the inability …

How Fear Can Deepen Joy and Love If We Let It

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“Fear has its use but cowardice has none.” ~Gandhi

On Monday, my boyfriend and I took a ferry to Catalina Island, where we planned to spend the night.

I knew the island would be quaint and charming, which was a big part of its appeal, but I was mostly looking forward to breathing in the salty ocean air.

From vacations enjoyed with beachside lounging, to summer days spent running along the shore, some of my favorite memories involve the hypnotic lilt of crashing waves.

We hightailed it to the upper deck as soon as we dropped our bags, allowing ourselves …

20 Ways Life is Amazing (Even When it Hurts)

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“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” ~Anne Frank

I have a confession to make: The last few weeks have been some of the hardest I’ve lived through in my entire life—but not for the reasons you’d think.

Thankfully, all of my family is safe and sound. Today is actually my grandmother’s 80th birthday, and we’re having a wonderful dinner to celebrate her life.

My husband and I have just moved into a beautiful new home and are ecstatic to finally have a little nest of our own. I …