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Posts by Leah Kim

Leah Kim taught yoga for fifteen years after studying english and economics at UCLA. As Nike’s Global Yoga Ambassador for a decade, she taught classes and led events all over the world. After becoming a mother, Leah was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety, panic disorder, PTSD, and eating disorders. Through therapy, she confronted deeply buried pain and recovered from acute symptoms. She now writes about mental health, motherhood, and racial justice on her blog, www.on-motherhood.com. IG: @leahsoojinkim

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Why I Sense Threats Everywhere and Panic All the Time

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“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” ~Bessel A. van der Kolk

I have a prescription for Lorazepam.

After coming home from picking up my first ever bottle from the pharmacy several years ago, I threw the bottle at the wall and cried.

I used …

How Feeling Out of Control as a Kid Led Me to an Eating Disorder

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In many cultures, food is an expression of love. Sometimes, as was the case for me growing up as a child of immigrants, food might be the only expression of love.

My parents were not very affectionate or communicative about love. My dad gives classic awkward-dad hugs, where he pats your back with self-conscious uncertainty from a good foot and a half away. My mom hit me so frequently and unexpectedly that my body learned to flinch anytime she got too close.

My childhood was punctuated by seasons of my mom’s depression. Ramen and Pizza Hut boxes marked how long …