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Posts by Graham Panther

Graham Panther is a mental health consultant based in Melbourne, Australia. He is co-founder of the Big Feels Club, a ‘feel-osophy’ club for people who are sad or scared a bunch of the time. He believes that big, scary feelings are part of the human condition, but it helps to find other people going through that same big stuff. You can find more of Graham’s writing on the life + feelings equation at https://bigfeels.club/

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Why Compliments Made Me Cringe and How I’ve Learned to Accept Praise

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“Even when the sea is stirred up by the winds of self-doubt, we can find our way home.” ~Tara Brach

What is it about praise that’s so hard to hear sometimes?

You know the drill. You do something noteworthy, like cooking a meal for your friends, or getting on stage to do a talk. Assuming things go okay, your friends or colleagues tell you a bunch of nice, encouraging things afterward:

“This meal is delicious!”

“You did great up there!”

And suddenly you feel uncomfortable.

Maybe you deflect those nice, encouraging words (“Oh it was nothing, really”). Or …