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Posts by Allison Briggs

Allison Jeanette Briggs is a therapist, writer, and speaker specializing in helping women heal from codependency, childhood trauma, and emotional neglect. She blends psychological insight with spiritual depth to guide clients and readers toward self-trust, boundaries, and authentic connection. Allison is the author of the upcoming memoir On Being Real: Healing the Codependent Heart of a Woman and shares reflections on healing, resilience, and inner freedom at on-being-real.com.

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Why I Let My Kids See My Sadness Now (After Hiding It for Years)

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“I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you—truly, deeply, seeing you.” ~Brené Brown

The first time my kids saw me truly cry was Christmas of 2021. My oldest was sixteen, and my youngest was twelve.

They had just opened their presents. It should have been a warm, joyful morning. Instead, I turned away toward the foyer near the entry of the house, my back to them, as tears threatened to spill over. My mom—whose emotional chaos had disrupted a …

Moral Injury: When the People Meant to Protect You Fail

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“Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” ~Dr. Gabor Maté

Most people think trauma comes from what frightened us.

But not all trauma is rooted in fear. Some wounds come from betrayal—when something violates our sense of right and wrong, and we’re left to carry the cost alone.

This kind of injury doesn’t happen simply because something bad occurred. It happens because a moral line was crossed—by a person, an authority, or a system we believed would protect us. What follows isn’t just pain but a lasting …

Why Protecting Your Energy Isn’t Selfish or Shameful

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” ~Ian Maclaren

A friend recently told me a story about her mother that stayed with me.

They walk together some evenings around her mom’s apartment building—part exercise, part ritual. Her mom doesn’t enjoy small talk. When they pass people in the building, she usually keeps her eyes forward. There’s one woman in particular who always says, “How are you?” Years ago, her mom would respond. Now she doesn’t. She keeps walking.

My friend felt conflicted. Part of her understood. Another part felt uncomfortable. She said, “Sometimes saying ‘I’m fine’ …

The Growth That Came from Not Saying Sorry

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“You are not responsible for other people’s emotional reactions.” ~Susan Forward

This morning, in our usual rush and routine heading to school, my son was looking for something, as per usual. I calmly asked what he was doing, and he snapped at me. That’s not uncommon.

I stayed regulated and grounded to help him regulate. But sometimes, that calm turns into overfunctioning.

Codependency has a way of sneaking in the back door. As someone who was once deeply codependent, I still fall into old habits—being the one who holds it together, who stays calm for others. And if they

…

Trauma, Darkness, and the Powerful Therapy That’s Helping Me Heal

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Trigger Warning: This piece contains references to childhood trauma, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Please take care of yourself as you read, and step away if you need to. If you are struggling, you are not alone — support is available through trusted loved ones, a therapist, or resources like the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (in the U.S.).

Hello, darkness, my old friend.

I can’t push you away—because if I do, you only grow stronger. So I’m learning to let you be here. You settle in my chest like a hollow weight, speaking not in words but in pressure.

At …

The Hidden Lesson in Projection: It’s Never Really About Us

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“What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

For most of my life, I didn’t fully understand what projection was. I just knew I kept becoming the problem.

I was “too much.” Too intense. Too emotional. Thought too deeply. Spoke too plainly.

Again and again, I was blamed, misunderstood, and cast out for holding up a mirror to things no one wanted to see.

But in my forties, I began doing …

Brilliant, Not Broken: A Powerful Reframe for Neurodivergence

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“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” ~Audre Lorde

For most of my life, I asked myself a quiet question:

What’s wrong with me?

I didn’t say it out loud. I didn’t have to. It was stitched into how I moved through the world — hyperaware, self-correcting, and always just a little out of step. I knew how to “pass” in the right settings, but never without effort. Underneath it all, I was exhausted by the daily performance of normal.

Looking back, it’s clear where it started.

I …

The Lie of Packaged Healing and the Truth About Feeling

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“Emotions are not problems to be solved. They are signals to be felt.” ~Vironika Tugaleva

We’ve been taught to package our emotions like fast food—served quick, tidy, and with a smile. Americanized feelings. Digestible. Non-threatening. Always paired with productivity.

If you’re sad, journal it. If you’re angry, regulate it. If you’re overwhelmed, fix it with a three-step plan and a green juice. And if that doesn’t work? Try again. You probably missed a step.

This is how we sell emotional healing in the West—marketed like a self-improvement product. Seven-minute abs. Seven habits. Five love languages. Follow the formula. Find the …