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Embracing All of Life Instead of Resisting Pain

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“Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask, don’t knock, don’t demand – relax. If you relax, it comes. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, you start vibrating with it.” ~Osho

As far as I can remember, I have always asked myself questions about the nature of my emotional pain. I analyzed and went on long thinking quests to find answers to all of this deliberation. I was convinced that I would find deliverance by coming up with the exact hypothesis, about why I was chosen to have to live with so much trauma and pain in my childhood.…

Prescriptions for Peace: How to Combat Anxiety

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“When the crowded refugee boats met with storms or pirates, if everyone panicked, all would be lost.  But if even one person on the boat remained calm and centered, it was enough. They showed the way for everyone to survive.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Without realizing it, I spent the majority of my childhood in a constant state of anxiety. In my early twenties, after a break-up with a man I dearly loved (albeit a little obsessively) I tried to medicate my grief with too many cups of coffee, bottles of wine, and many cigarettes.

I found myself one absurd sunny …

Giveaway: The Book of Holiday Awesome

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Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

It’s no secret: I am a hugeNeil Pasricha fan. It’s impossible to visit his site 1000 Awesome Things and not feel good about the world. He has a gift for identifying the small, simple pleasures and treasures that make life beautiful and fill us with joy, if we take the time to notice and appreciate them.

In case you’re not familiar with Neil, a little background info: Neil started …

How to Stop Being a Neat Freak & Stressing About Keeping Things Tidy

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“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~ Bernice Johnson Reagon

Have you ever hung up a towel and not straightened it or folded it or arranged it in some way as you did so? Have you ever just casually tossed a towel over the towel rail?

I did that last weekend and it was a big event. I had to laugh at myself for having this obsessive quirk, but doing that was almost impossible. I was in a hurry putting away the laundry, and there were those two clean …

4 Myths about Doing What You Love for Work

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“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~Buddha

“Big flud strikes Revere!”

That was the headline of the newspaper I made with my sister when I was six. I hadn’t yet honed my skills as an editor, but I knew a good fake story when I heard it.

Eight years later, while wading through my anger toward several people who’d hurt me, I wrote a short book called The Line of the Virtues about the grey area between good and bad. An older coworker at my afterschool job asked, “Are …

4 Treasures to Leave Behind

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“Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.” ~Buddha

As children, we were all fascinated by our own treasure hunts. We sought the gold at the end of the rainbow. We dreamed of sailing the seas looking for Treasure Island. We pretended to navigate ancient lands looking for the spot marked “X”.

Growing up in my family, my treasures were little feel-good events that …

10 Ways to Complain Less (and Be Happier)

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“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb

We all complain. Even if you argue that you are the happiest person in the world, you still complain sometimes.

Sometimes we complain without even realizing it, but rarely is it helpful. Sure, a common complaint can bond two people who may have nothing in common, but too much complaining would just break down the relationship.

For example, I once had a friend who constantly griped about her health, her family, her relationships, school, and the list goes on. Every …

The Tiny Buddha Book, Bonus Gifts, and Win a Kindle or DSLR Camera

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UPDATE: Please note that the pre-order bonus promotion described in this blog post ended on December 8, 2011.

This is a post that’s been a year and a half in the making, and I couldn’t be more thrilled to finally write these words!

Today is the official pre-order launch day for my first print book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions, and I have some exciting promotions to share with you!

In this post you’ll find:

-Information about Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions

-A description of the pre-order bonuses (totaling more than $150 in …

The Days Will Run Out

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“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I heard this story recently while listening to a favorite radio show of mine. It was about this homeless man who was detailing some of his experience with homelessness.

He told stories of sleeping outside in the rain and waiting for hours to get into an overcrowded shelter. He even told a story about another homeless man, who could speak no English, who told him about how he had spent a sleepless night in a trash compactor because he felt safer and was …

Interview and Giveaway: Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project

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Update: The winner for this giveaway has been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways! The winner: +sp.

I was perhaps the last person on the face of the planet to read The Happiness Project.

Earlier this year, a friend connected me with Gretchen Rubin, which prompted her to interview me for her blog. After I spent some time exploring her archives, I realized I needed to learn more.

If you’ve read The Happiness Project, you know Gretchen balances ancient wisdom with contemporary research to create …

Aid for a No-Good, Terrible, Very Bad Day

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“The outer teacher is merely a milestone. It is only your inner teacher that will walk with you to the goal, for he is the goal.” ~Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Recently, I had a very bad day. It was a day when certain life events made me so scared, so panicked I felt like I was floating in a dark void with no connection to anyone or anything, certainly not myself.

It wasn’t one bad thing that happened, just an accumulation of family stresses, worries, questions, uncertainty, and self-doubt that flooded my spirit. I had been going-going for many …

The One Thing That Helped Me Forgive My Father

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“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell

I stood in front of my father, man to man, and demanded an apology. His long absence and lack of interest during my formative years had burned within me a resentment that wouldn’t quit. My therapist suggested that I confront him as one adult to another, so there I was.

It didn’t go well. The more I pointed out his failures, the more defensive he got. The more I demanded an apology, the …

5 Ways to Find Your Center When Life Feels Overwhelming

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“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” ~Hermann Hesse

We’ve all had moments when life’s demands left us feeling stressed and scattered. In these moments, it’s helpful to have some simple tools to help us gain composure and come back to our center.

Let me paint a picture for you of a scene from my daily life at its most overwhelming.

On a recent Tuesday, I drafted my evening’s “to-do” list, which contained the following items: Go clothes shopping for my son, get groceries, cook up some …

CD Giveaway, Relax: 6 Techniques to Lower Your Stress

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Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

Last year, a representative from More Than Sound reached out to me to share the publishing company’s new mindful driving CD, Awake at the Wheel.

As someone who frequently deals with Los Angeles traffic, I especially appreciated the opportunity to hear and share a CD focused on making the roads more peaceful.

Recently, More Than Sound connected with me again to introduce their latest offering, …

60 Life Lessons: Insights from Oprah’s Life Class

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Call me a traitor to my gender, but I didn’t grow up watching Oprah. I didn’t have parties with other ladies that involved a television and tissues. I didn’t fill my library according to her book club recommendations. And I didn’t live my life around the question, “What would Oprah do?”

Considering my penchant for drama back then, I was more likely to curl up to Jerry Springer than a show without paternity tests and chair throwing.

But recently Oprah called to me. Literally.

It started when the network reached out to my friend Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love…

Becoming Ourselves: How Powerful Decisions Shape Who We Are

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“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” ~H. Jackson Browne

I decided to have a homebirth late in my first pregnancy, well into the third trimester. All through the first six months I flip-flopped back and forth, first buying into the message that hospitals were safe for births and homes were not, and then feeling profoundly certain that the best environment in which to have my baby was at home.

The truth is, before I was pregnant I hadn’t thought much about birth. I started my birthing journey wanting to be in charge …

Overcoming Shame at Work When You’ve Made Big Mistakes

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“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ~ African proverb

Hitchen’s Kitchen. It sounds like a diner straight out of a romance novel. But there I was standing in yes, the kitchen, getting my first dressing down at my first paying job.

At sixteen I had screwed up waiting tables. I got the special of the day, swiss steak, mixed up with sirloin. And so I kept putting in tickets ordering sirloins and the cook kept on grilling them.

And then it struck. The customers were happily eating sirloin while paying the “special of the …

Love Yourself, Accept Yourself, Forgive Yourself

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“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia 

You mean I am a source of many wonderful things?

Yes. Actually you are. Own up to it.

Leo has it right.

Love yourself.

Despite all the things that you think may be terribly wrong with you, love yourself. Love yourself.

Tattoo it on your brain.

I can think of so many reasons why you should love yourself, but here’s just one: It is incredibly dull and uninspiring to be around people who …

I Hate Hugging: Getting Over the Fear of Intimacy

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“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings

I was a shy kid. My mom said that when I was in pre-school, the teacher asked all of the kids to hold hands and I said, “No thanks, I’ll just hold my own.”

That may have been the beginning of my aversion towards human contact. As a kid, I remember grandparents, aunts, and uncles giving me big horrible hugs. If I didn’t blatantly push them away or wiggle free, I stood there stiff as board, until the torture was over.

They thought this was adorable …

When You Keep Learning Instead of Taking Action

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“Begin, be bold, and venture to be wise.” ~Horace 

It was day five without food, meditating in a cave in the Sahara desert.

In 2009, I skipped out on two weeks of my senior year of college to go to the desert.

Ever since I was a young I had been into exploring the boundaries of the self. I had always wanted a period of time when I could totally be alone for days—not a word spoken to me, where I could go deeper into my mind than ever before until I simply evaporated.

So there I was.

Just the …