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When Will You Find a Moment for Yourself?

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ā€œSometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” ~Etty Hillesum

For the second time in a week, the gas light comes on in my car. Iā€™m busy, as usual, and so I push it a little farther, run just a few more errands. But I know that I do need to stop and refill before too long, or I will be left on the side of the road. Iā€™ve been stranded before, and have learned my lesson.

Most of us know that when our cars try to tell us they …

9 Guidelines to Get Through Challenging Times

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“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” ~Charles Swindoll

Iā€™ve recently dealt with numerous challenges that range from the ridiculous to the life-threatening. Iā€™ve had friends telling me they ā€œcanā€™t bear to hear any moreā€ about illness, financial loss, and an array of physical and emotional accidents that have broken parts of me, but not all.

Every aspect of my life is changing: career, relationships, health, and beliefs. I have to make the most of every situation and so Iā€™ve created my own set of rules to keep me focused and to remind …

3 Ways to Forgive and Create Peace

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“Remembering a wrong is like carrying a burden on the mind.” ~Buddha

It was a beautiful spring morning when I was terminated from my job. Before it happened, there were rumors, but I refused to believe that something like that could actually happen to me. I felt betrayed by the manner in which the termination occurred.

Without any substantiation, my company suggested that my ethics were compromised and I embezzled from the company funds. Soon thereafter I learned that the sole motive for the company was to replace me and my assistant with part-time employees to avoid paying full-time employee …

9 Lessons on Loss, Forgiveness, and Healing

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“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese

I’m trying to meditate but I find myself overcome by sadness; I’m still grieving after all this time.

I’ve gone through phases of forgiveness recently that have shown me how to acknowledge the painful relationship I had with my mother, the anger and resentment we shared, and the loss of each other that we both went through the older we grew. Maybe it’s not as bad as that, but it feels like it.

My reflections have brought me closer to the woman who I never took …

Embrace Fear and Find Your Center: Riding With No Hands

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“Some people think it’s holding that makes one strongā€”sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

My mom leaned in and gave me a goodnight kiss. The only light illuminating her face was coming from the hallway. I looked up at her, and in the confidence of the dark confessed, ā€œI saw it.ā€

ā€œItā€ was my birthday present, waiting patiently for me to wake up in the morning and claim it from its place in the garage. ā€œItā€ was a turquoise blue Stingray bicycle with a white pleather banana seat and an extra tall sissy bar.

Iā€™d seen it by chance, tucked back …

Giveaway and Interview: Journey to You by Steve Olsher

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Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

Also, Steve’s team has informed me that you can download the digital version of Journey to You for free by subscribing for his newsletter! You can access that here.

The winners:

Have you ever felt like thereā€™s one thing you were born to do, and youā€™re not doing it?

This isnā€™t actually something Iā€™ve thought, because I donā€™t believe in fate.

For this reason, I felt a little reluctant when I …

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life

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“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Gandhi

It was 1999 and my life stunk. I had failed miserably as a missionary for my church, Iā€™d been sent to a mental hospital and diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I was in the process of losing the woman I thought I was going to marry.

I was in bad shape, and didnā€™t have a clue as to how I could right the ship, so to speak.

Now, 13 years later, I have a great job that provides for me …

Emotional Blind Spots: On Feeling Uncomfortable Feelings

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ā€œFeelings or emotions are the universal language and are to be honored. They are the authentic expression of who you are at your deepest place.ā€ ~Judith Wright

On March 12th of 2006 I faced an important decision: life or death? From my perspective, death seemed reasonable, logical, and easy. Life on the other hand was difficult and full of disappointment.

That was the day I realized I had no idea how to be happy or live with my true self. All I knew and felt in my soul was aloneness; an emotional black hole that consumed me.

Being Emotional

…

4 Tips to Tell the Truth About Yourself and to Yourself

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ā€œOur lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.ā€ ~Walter Anderson

Thereā€™s almost nothing I hate more than honesty.

Iā€™ll give you a moment to let that sink in. You may be doing a double-take, thinking ā€œdid she mean thereā€™s nothing she hates more than lying?ā€

I wish.

Most people probably think Iā€™m an honest person, and in general, I suppose thatā€™s true. I am honest with many people. However, Iā€™m rarely honest with the person who matters mostā€”myself.

As someone whose drug of choice …

Remember to Breathe: How to Feel Calm, Peaceful, and Loving

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“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Gandhi

At some point during 2005 I discovered the sense that I am connected to everything, that nothing exists outside of me. This realization came while surfing with a friend of mine. From that moment, surfing became a religion for me.

I sat on top a surf board about 100 yards off the sand, just a little north of the San Onofre Nuclear Power Plant in San Clemente, California, for hours on end every single day.

At some point during each …

Giveaway and Interview: Aging as a Spiritual Practice

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Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

Have you noticed there are certain things you canā€™t do as easily as you could when you were younger? Have you ever felt resistant to the inevitable changes that come with age? Have you put thought into your own mortality?

And have you considered that perhaps all of this can contribute to a greater sense of spirituality?

Buddhist author and teacher Lewis Richmond tackles these questions and more in …

What Are You Worth?

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Have you ever worked a job where you were grossly overqualified or underpaid?

I once had a job where I was getting paid $12/hour for doing stuff that I thought I liked.

I was working in a field very closely aligned with what I wanted to do in the future, and I had access to all kinds of experts that I could talk with.

At the start, I thought it was great; I was young, the pay was tax free, and it was my first job after a long absence from the United States.

But as time wore on, I …

The Intimacy of Loss: Being Together in this Fleeting Moment

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ā€œWe must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.ā€ ~Kenji Miyazawa

I love my wife, so it stung the other day when she said, ā€œHmm ā€¦ Youā€™re going to have trouble letting me go, arenā€™t you?ā€

Sheā€™s not walking out on me. You see, she has multiple sclerosis (MS), and sheā€™s referring to the day she canā€™t walk any more. Sheā€™s convinced herself that she canā€™t handle the guilt of ruining my life, and expects me to leave when she says so.

I knew Caroline had MS when I married her. I also knew I loved her.…

9 Essential Tips to Face Fear and Live a Bold Life

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“Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” ~Unknown

Too often, we allow fear, worry, and doubt to dominate and define our lives. We allow them to steal our joy, our sleep, and our precious dreams.

I made up my mind, very young, that I would push forward no matter what.

I was 17 and pregnant when I married my boyfriend. We were young and foolish, and because our only plan was ā€œlove,ā€ I gave birth to three more daughters by …

3 More Days to Enter the Lifeā€™s Hard Questions Contest to Win a DSLR Camera or Kindle

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Two months back, I thought of a fun, creative contest that Iā€™d enjoy running in conjunction with my book promotion efforts. In case you havenā€™t seen the million and one links all around the site, I recently launched my first book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Lifeā€™s Hard Questions.

Incorporating nearly 200 tweets from the community on pain, meaning, fate, happiness, love, and more, the book includes some of my own experiences in overcoming depression and creating joy and purpose, along with insights and suggestions from wise teachers throughout time.

Itā€™s a book that acknowledges that much is uncertain …

Everyone in Your Life Is You

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Ā ā€œYou validate peopleā€™s lives by your attention.ā€ ~Unknown

When my husband and I lived in New Providence, the capital island of the Bahamas, we rented a charming wooden cottage with a sweeping vista of the ocean from a sweet, elderly man who was 88 years old.

Our landlord Leslie lived alone in an elegant house next door to our cottage and I made it a habit to visit him each day, after arriving home from teaching at a local high school.

Leslie was lonely and my heart would ache for him. Having lost his wife a few years earlier, he …

Uplifting Depression: 15 Unexpected Lessons from Adversity

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ā€œWhenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.ā€ ~Eckhart Tolle

Two years ago, reading this quote, I would smirk and think, ā€œWhat a clichĆ©.ā€

In the last two years, I would read this quote and be in utter disbelief that anything can be learned when one is in the depths of hell.

Today, I read this quote and resonate confidently, that yes, even though I tried to end my life, even though I had to quit a high paying job, even though I still suffer from major depression, good has come out of my …

How Planning Less Can Set You Free

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“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

Normally my girlfriend and I have a routine for Saturday mornings:

She goes to yoga at eleven AM and then heads into Central London to do a small amount of shopping, and perhaps visit a museum. I might get up, do some writing in the morning, tidy the flat, and then take a dance class at 1PM. These are routines we enjoy, …

Interview and Giveaway: Love for No Reason by Marci Shimoff

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Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

You know that open-hearted, safe feeling of being in the presence of someone you love and trust? Have you ever wondered if you could bottle that and feel it later, when you were alone?

What about that connected, fulfilled feeling of loving someone else passionately and unconditionally? Have you ever wondered if you could sustain that whether you were in a relationship or not?

Bestselling author Marci Shimoff (who also …

What Dogs Teach Us about Peace, Joy, and Living in the Now

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“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” ~Marianne Williamson

Are you a dog lover? I know I am.

Animals of all kinds can bring us so much joy, not only when things are going well, but also when we feel pain and are suffering.

ā€œManā€™s best friendā€ can be our true and faithful companions through thick and thin. We look to our pets when we are ready to play and laugh, and they instinctively know when we need their support.

Iā€™ve had a dog most of my life. From purebreds …