
“If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.” ~Jack Dixon
Living without flexibility in the way we act and see the world leaves us at a severe disadvantage.
I always wanted to be one of those people with incredible drive. The kind of people who don’t take no for an answer. As I became more and more like my ideal, I learned that trying to control everything just doesnāt pan out in the long run.
Real power comes from flexibility, not rigidity. Let me explain.
This fact is well known in the martial arts. Have you ever heard of Jiu Jitsu? Itās based entirely around reacting to your opponent.
You use their force against them. Rather than facing them head on, you react to your opponent in a way that brings about the best result. Dealing with life is a lot like that.
No matter who you are, youāll have a lot of things happen to you. Some will be good, and some will be bad.
The sensei of life knows that flexibility in thinking and action is what brings true happiness. After all, the only constant in life is change.
Goals are good, but trying to constantly force your will is not only exhausting, but excruciatingly futile.
Iāve been thinking a lot about how to become more flexible in my approach to life. Iāve had some discoveries that Iād like to share here.
1. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
This is one Iām definitely guilty of doing. I tend to have tunnel vision when it comes to things I set out to do. The phrase āstubborn as a bullā comes to mind.
It’s not necessarily a bad quality, because I can get a lot done. On the other hand, it can be bad because I often fail to consider other options at all.
Even if youāre really good at something, it doesnāt bode well if you canāt adapt to the world around you. It’s like being a genius programmer, except you’re too closed minded to use anything but Windows 95. Not exactly a good approach, is it?
Step out of your productivity bubble for some quality reflection now and then. When you’re wrapped up in something important, it can be really hard to be objective. It could be that while youāre making excellent progress, you were too rigid in the beginning and now youāre off track.
Or perhaps you need to adapt your project to the changing marketplace rather than insisting on using outdated paradigms. Embrace change rather than fighting it, and youāll be surprised with the results.
So how does one determine when they need to use more flexibility in their approach? This leads me to my next point.
2. Stop Everything And Think!
We used to have something called D. E. A. R. time back in elementary school. It stands for “Drop Everything And Read.”
I love the concept. There are so many things we think we don’t have time for. If we would just stop making excuses and actually go do those things, we’d get a lot more important things done.
Based on this idea, I’ve created a similar concept, not for achievements, but for purpose. It’s called S.E.A.T: Stop Everything And Think.
The reasoning behind S. E. A. T. is simple. It’s hard to objectively evaluate the worth of an activity you’re constantly doing. It’s textbook psychology: People come up with tons of reasons to justify whatever action theyāre currently taking.
Itās natural, but itās not useful. In order to get some real perspective, you have to shift your focus for a bit.
I especially like to use this method before big decisions that require a lot of flexibility in thinking. I will meditate and clear my mind. This only takes a few minutes, and I end up having much greater clarity afterward.
Another way to do this is to simply concentrate on what youāre doing. Ask yourself a few questions about it.
Pay attention to exactly what it is youāre thinking about. Rather than asking what you’re doing, ask yourself why you’re doing it.
Perhaps your goal is to help as many people as possible. Maybe you want to make more money. Are you working on something that accomplishes that goal in the best way possible? Is your approach flexible enough that you can serve others as well as yourself?
These are all important things to consider.
Occasionally, we have moments where weāre lifted above our normal, everyday thoughts. They give us an opportunity to examine our approach to life and see what works and what doesnāt.
Use this as an opportunity to have one of those moments right now. Remember to be one with the nature of change. Be flexible. Donāt stick to something that doesnāt work. Take a moment right now to have a seat, practice S. E. A. T., and decide if you’re doing what’s best for you.
Flexible image via Shutterstock
About Fred Tracy
Fred Tracy runs a personal development website where he acts as half guru/half lab rat for his audience. He consumes far too much information, often distilling some of it in the form of articles about positivity, inner peace, and more.











Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.
[…] by Fred Tracy/TinyBuddha.com […]
Totally agree with you Fred. You’ve great insights. I know because I’ve talked with you and you’re so open to receiving and applying advice and experimenting. Cheers for the guest post. You’re a rock star, remember that!
@Lori Carter Thanks for including my guest post. š
@Jaky Thanks man! You’re the one who got me to creating my ebook and gave me some really good ideas. I appreciate it.
LOVE THIS POST!!! Like the Ropes, harnessing the energy of the Sail on a ship. Pull them too tight and the whole thing flips over. It’s good to be Flexible!!
Thank you Pambelding! =)
[…] decided then to make some changes so Iād feel less overwhelmed. After reading books and blogs on time management, goal setting, and […]
[…] decided then toĀ make some changesĀ so Iād feel less overwhelmed. After reading books and blogs on time management, goal setting, […]
[…] helps you respond to change quickly and efficiently and allows you to create value at greater speed and frequent intervals. […]
You’re 12?? My dear, a piece of advice: please enjoy your youth and don’t take things so seriously. I’m impressed at how mature you are at your age, when I was 12 I don’t think I even knew my zodiac sign haha. Yes, people who are born under a certain star sign will share certain characteristics, but no two people are the same. Young people are very easily influenced by their external world. Please know that you do NOT have to accept someone else’s opinion of you (and definitely not from some random astrology website), you’re the one living your life and you know yourself better than anyone. Why on earth would you take on someone else’s beliefs and opinions, especially if they don’t even know you personally?
Your brain hasn’t even fully developed yet, let alone your body, so just take it easy during your schooling years and use this time to grow into yourself and to find out who you are. If you’re adamant about not wanting to be inflexible, then try different things when you’re still under the safety bubble of school. Join all the clubs and societies that interest you. Maybe even go for an exchange program when you’re older.
But seriously, take a chill pill, Jiajia. Be a kid and have some fun š
Hi there!!
Here I have a really big problem. I keep thinking about the zodiac signs… I just cannot control it. It controls me. According to my zodiac signs,it just says my heart always clings to the past and is clingy or obsessed and my soul is very unflexible,cold and detached. I don’t how or when this whole ‘controlling’ thing started. But it’s seems like I am listening to it and emotionally controlled by it in my brain. I think I am not even like that in the past but I am like that now. I can’t change now. There is just another voice in my head telling me that you are inflexible.you would not change.you won’t change.And lastly I am all negative about this .I have read this post and your other post about ‘trying to control everything’.I would always come trolley my own mind and tell myself to not obless about the whole zodiac thing and I know I shouldn’t . I do not try to controll my mind but knowing too much is seriously harmful..Like I start to judge everyone to guess their zodiac signs… “UGH.its impossible!That’s it.”that is what is always in my mindI am a virgo I live in my mind. Please help me to change my mindset. Thanks know you^^I’m 12.MY parents dont really get what I’m going through so please answer me.āŗ