Forum Replies Created
-
AuthorPosts
-
Thomas168ParticipantThe thing about Zazen for me is that it represents the actualization of enlightenment. Just sitting in the quiet. Emptiness. Not trying to do anything. Being the awareness without the mind prompting this is me being aware. No creeping vines from the mind into the peace. Yeah,m can’t be building anything as that is the mind doing the building. The meditation is a way for the mind to drop away. For the awareness to stop identifying with thoughts. This becomes the actualization of enlightenment. Practice this and the more moments of peace happens then eventually mindfulness all day. It transforms the practitioner.
Unfortunately for me, my mind has built up defenses like the unending song repeating in my head. Creeping vines of me saying it is me being aware of the moment. I can see the tricks the mind plays to keep in control. But, it also lets me see the path to dropping the mind. For it is the middle way. Not to hold on strong and let it slip away like sand in a fist holding on tightly. But, also, not loosely like powder in one’s hand when the wind blows.
I know that someday I will need a teacher if I am ever to move forward with my practice. Got nothing to do with this but, The Sounds of Silence just played on the radio. Now another song stuck. Maybe it will be quiet this time.
Thomas168ParticipantYeah, being apart hurt like hell. All one every does is spend time thinking about the other person. After a few months then time spent thinking about her will diminish. Spend less time thinking about her until you stop. Then you can go on. healing. This is why sometimes I think, the brain shuts down and stops feeling anything. I hope things get better for you.
February 23, 2026 at 6:53 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #455422Thomas168ParticipantIf I am out of line then please just ignore me.
February 23, 2026 at 6:53 pm in reply to: growing up – becoming adul / procrastination – in connection to childhood trauma #455421Thomas168ParticipantSorry for interrupting, I see this as an issue between partners. You have a need for your girlfriend to become bound to you. To follow your boundaries and desires. That is natural. A man wants his woman to be a part of his life. For her to show that she choses him on a daily basis. And of course, a man needs to bend and not break in order to keep and maintain a decent relationship with his girlfriend. In a modern world where woman have many more choices than before, men need to be able to understand growth take time. Establish the love first. Make sure that is real enough. Then go about talking the needs of each person. Find out if they are compatible.
I can see turmoil in a decision to head into this relationship. Go for an interview for a job in another place near her. You want to know that she will return the love you show by moving somewhere you do not believe you will have an easy time establishing yourself. That it is worth the effort. The only thing I can say about that is that you can not control another person. You can’t make them change. If you find you two do not want the same things then hanging on will only hurt more later. However, you can only change yourself if you really want to be with her. There is a song going thru my head now. By Roxette, the song is “Listen To Your Heart” Feeling very melancholy.
Human feelings are such a strain on the soul. I hope you find out what exactly you want and if you can get that from your girlfriend. If you can change to be what she needs and be happy about it. When I met my wife, I was very tired of being alone. So, when a fight would start, I just stopped and told her I don’t ever want to fight. In the 30 years we have been together. We have fought twice. I bent the knee to keep the marriage together. I give and I take. Can’t say it was easy. But, after years, we just grew into what we have now. Good luck.
Thomas168ParticipantPeter,
There definitely is a social norm that we must follow which keep us from asking questions. However, I have found that on forums, there is no direct embarrassment cause the person can ignore the question. Which is what I expected, to be ignored. But, having got an answer, I am grateful to Anita for answering. And feel closer to her cause she took the time to answer.
Anita,
Yes, thank you for your answer. It seems to be like many things. When the proper conditions arise, it happens. I always thought if I got drunk enough and in with a bunch of friends that I might get a tattoo. But, that never happened for me. And I really don’t know what I would get. I mean it is going to be there always. Well, thank you for answering. Hope it went well and keep it clean while it heals.
Thomas168ParticipantPersonally never understood the need to get a tattoo. Can I ask what the reason for getting the tattoo and what does the tattoo represent to you. Some people do it as a way to be part of a community. Others just think it is neat/cool. And then there are others who use it to mark an important moment in their life. I had a friend who was into getting tattoos. They were beautiful. But, never asked about it for fear it might make them feel insecure or that I was being critical/judgy. So, if you do not want to answer then that is okay.
Thomas168ParticipantMy own path or practise has hit a wall of sorts. When I get close to the silence, my brain goes off on a song. It could be any song. Populars songs where I know most of the lyrics. They stick in my head and won’t let go. So, I will be reading a post and then this song comes in and I got to write some of the lyrics to get it out. I am sorry if that upset anyone.
Thomas168ParticipantPeter, that was a song by seals and Crofts called We May Never Pass This Way Again. As you know, Zen is not meditation trying to attain enlightenment. Rather it is the actualization of enlightenment. And I believe you are close. To realize that the mind uses the words to create the world and its experiences, shows how close you are. I wish you the best.
Thomas168ParticipantThe one thing that sets humans apart from the animals is language. Without it, everyone is alone and struggling to survive. It may be like a prison but the benefits of language far outweigh the negatives. In fact, you language in your posts have presented beautiful thoughts. However, the Buddha tried so hard to keep one from drowning in thoughts, to keep one from identifying with thoughts. From meditation practice to being mindful all day long, this is what helps one experience the truth of one’s nature. Often sitting there pondering the subject of what am I.
Life, So they say
Is but a game and they’d let it slip away
Love, Like the autumn sun,
Should be dying but it’s only just begun
Like the twilight in the road up ahead
They don’t see just where we’re going
And all the secrets in the universe
Whisper in our ears all the years will come and go
Take us up, always up
We may never pass this way again
We may never pass this way againDreams, So they say
Are for the fools and they let ’em drift away
Peace like the silent dove
Should be flying but it’s only just begun
Like Columbus in the olden days
We must gather all our courage
Sail our ships out on the open seas
Cast away our fears and all the years will come and go
Take us up, Always up
We may never pass this way again
We may never pass this way againSo, I wanna laugh while the laughing is easy
I wanna cry if it makes it worthwhile
I may never pass this way again
That’s why I want it for youThomas168ParticipantTakes two or three hours to do the hot water heater. Turn off the gas and remove the water (takes longest time). Cut the pipes and remove the hot water heater. replace with new hot water heater. Connect the pipes using compression fitting (no soldering needed). Then connect the gas. turn on the water and turn on gas and the pilot light. Done.
Yeah, cruise where I don’t have to cook or wash dishes or laundry. Just sleep and eat. Talk to strangers. Have fun. Was thinking Caribbean?? Doubt it though. Maybe visit my wife’s cousin in Canada??
How are you doing? Hope all is well. Yeah, I do day dream a lot.
February 17, 2026 at 11:59 am in reply to: Happy Chinese New Year, Happy Lunar New Year and Ramadan Mubarak #455285Thomas168ParticipantThose who observe Ramadan must abstain from eating from the early hours of dawn til dusk. It is meant to bring one closer to God. Personally, I do not think I could do that. Find myself camped out at the fridge all day. One might think being diabetic might make it easier to control the diet. It doesn’t. Too high or too low levels of blood sugar can be very detrimental. Guess I may never be as close to God as some. Bless you all.
Thomas168ParticipantHey,
Glad you found something that helped you and you wanted to share. That is great. Thanks.
Thomas168ParticipantLeenBee,
Okay, a decision has been made. Hope the navigation goes well and the friendship is good. Wishing you well.
February 16, 2026 at 5:42 pm in reply to: Happy Chinese New Year, Happy Lunar New Year and Ramadan Mubarak #455274Thomas168ParticipantHappy Chinese New Year. Year of the horse.
Thomas168ParticipantI hope I didn’t scare her off with my warning. But, many times women don’t see it from the man’s point of view. Well hope she is alright and will come back to talk.
-
AuthorPosts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 