Home→Forums→Relationships→Extremely Frustarted With Dating
- This topic has 19 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 2 days, 22 hours ago by
Thomas168.
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June 25, 2026 at 10:11 am #458894
Kris SimmonsParticipantWarning: This is gonna be an angry rant
I’m a 26 year old female. I’ve never been in a romantic relationship. I’ve never even had my first kiss, it’s so embarrassing. I’ve had no luck with dating apps. And I see all this doom and gloom about how Gen Z is the most single generation or how nobody’s dating anymore or Gen Z sucks at dating or other BS like that. I hate seeing that stuff cuz it makes me feel even more pessimistic about my non-existent love life! I’ve tried dating apps for a while but no luck. I keep ending up getting ghosted. I did meet someone on Facebook Dating and we didn’t end up romantically involved but we did remain friends. But once he found someone, he ghosted me too! It hurt a lot cuz my stupid self thought he was a great friend but i was apparently wrong. I admit I was pretty salty that he found someone but I’m still single, as petty as that is. i’m just so frustrated and angry. What the hell am I doing wrong? I swear to God, I’m NEVERA going to find love and I should accept that I’m going to die alone. This frustration at my pitifully non existent love life is enough to make me want to pull my hair out. I don’t know what to do! I know nothing’s going to change. I turn 27 in 4 months and I just know I’ll be single for the entire year I’m 27. I just feel so pessimistic and I feel foolish for even toying with the idea of me having a partner because I know it’s not gonna happen! I see people my age in relationships and I can’t help but feel a stab of jealousy, even tho it”s wrong. It’s like God wants me to be alone. I’m trying SO hard. I put myself out there more, I go to social events, I’m giving Facebook dating a try, but NOTHING IS HAPPENING!!!! I’m genuinely terrified of never finding anyone. It’s unbearable.
June 25, 2026 at 11:08 am #458895
anitaParticipantDear Kris:
I’m really glad you came back and shared this. Your anger makes complete sense — it’s what happens when someone has been carrying fear, disappointment, and loneliness for a long time without anyone really seeing the depth of it.
Being ghosted hurts, especially when you already have that old voice in your head telling you you’re unlovable or “too much.” Anyone in your situation would feel frustrated and discouraged. Nothing about your reaction is wrong or embarrassing. It’s human.
Your anger isn’t a sign that you’re broken. It’s a sign that you’ve been hurt. You grew up with people who criticized your feelings instead of comforting you, and that leaves a mark. When your sister told you that you’re “too angry” or that you need to “fix yourself,” she wasn’t seeing you — she was repeating the same pattern that made you the family scapegoat. That voice in your head isn’t the truth. It’s an echo of how you were treated.
Dating is especially hard when you’ve been taught to doubt your worth. Every ghosting feels personal, and every disappointment feels like proof of something being wrong with you, even though nothing is wrong with you. You’re not doomed. You’re someone who wants connection and hasn’t had enough experiences yet to counter the painful messages you grew up with. That doesn’t mean your future is fixed. It just means you’re hurting right now.
You’re trying — you’re putting yourself out there, you’re going to events, you’re opening yourself to possibilities even when it scares you. That takes courage. And it tells me you’re not someone who’s “meant to be alone.” You’re someone who’s been carrying a lot of fear and shame without enough support. You deserve gentleness, not criticism — especially from yourself.
A🌿💛 Anita
June 25, 2026 at 1:56 pm #458899
AlessaParticipantHi Kris
I’m sorry to hear about the difficulties dating. You’re at an awkward age to get a boyfriend because you’re young and modern dating at that age group is basically just hooking up without being exclusive. You have to consider if that is something you want? It took me ages to finally meet someone who was actually willing to officially be my boyfriend. If you want to hook up with someone going to a party is the easiest way. 🩵
That being said, as you get older, when men get more serious about settling down, not having children gives you a leg up over other women trying to date. 🩵
June 25, 2026 at 2:07 pm #458900Kris SimmonsParticipantThat makes no sense. I know that a lot of people my age are looking for a serious relationship instead of just hooking up. And tye idea of just waiting to get older to find a boyfriend is just ridiculous. I don’t WANT to wait to get older so I can finally find a boyfriend. That’s just absurd.
June 25, 2026 at 2:09 pm #458901
RobertaParticipantDear Kris
Please may I ask….How is your life other than the romance department? What brings you joy, tickles your curiosity? What vales do you hold? These may seem strange questions, but I would like to get to know you better.
Kind regards
RobertaJune 25, 2026 at 2:45 pm #458902Kris SimmonsParticipantMy life hasn’t been great. I was fired from my job cuz I missed too many days due to illness. I also got fired from working for my sister. They both happened at the same time in January. I did an externship at a crappy little doctors office from March to May. That was a miserable experience. My therapist DIED back in April. So it’s been pretty rough. I’m still looking for a job with no luck. The only positive thing is that I started esketamine therapy, which treats treat resistant depression.
I like to play violin, even tho I don’t practice NEARLY as much as I should. I also enjoy baking,reading,playing video games and crocheting.
What values do I hold? I’m not sure how to best answer that question. I value honesty, loyalty, standing for what’s right even when others try to bring you down.
June 25, 2026 at 10:58 pm #458907RobertaParticipantDear Kris
I am so sorry that this year so far has been very difficult for you, so much loss in so many ways, thankyou for sharing.
I note that your interests on the surface appear to be quite solitary indoor activities. I think that initially instead of looking for romance maybe begin with fostering connections to the outdoors & others not necessarily humans. For instance offering to bake at a homeless shelter, playing your violin at a hospice or carehome, join your local conservation group or animal sanctuary these kinds of activities also look good on your CV.
What kinds of jobs would you like to do to earn a living? I work 15 hours in a preschool & 7 in a care facility this gives me just enough to get by as I live in a shared house & I have time to do charity stuff, walks with friends/family, go to board games nights & most importantly meditate & study Buddhism & wellbeing.
Got to sign off now & feed our 3 chickens.
Kind regards
RobertaJune 26, 2026 at 5:40 am #458909Kris SimmonsParticipantI do have a hobby that allows me to interact with people, like taking a Karate class. I’m also part of my local church’s group. Why can’t I foster a connection with the outdoors and look fro romance at the same time? I can connect with the outdoors and still want a boyfriend at the same time. I find the idea that you “have” to do something first before you search for romance to be quite silly.
And as for jobs, I would like to work a an optometric assistant or ophthalmologic assistant/tech because I like to help people.
June 26, 2026 at 10:01 am #458915
Thomas168ParticipantBefore one can be happy with another person in their life, they need to be able to be happy with themselves. Having another person as a romantic interest will not bring happiness unless you can be happy with yourself.
Find peace and happiness within oneself. Then be open to love. Start conversations. Show interests. It will be a time when you meet a person that you find a connection.
June 26, 2026 at 10:10 am #458916Kris SimmonsParticipantWho says I’m not happy with myself? I never said I disliked myself. Actually, there’s a lot that I like about myself, like my passion, determination, my empathy, my creativity, ect. You don’t know that I’m not starting conversations or showing interests. I am doing both of those thing. I am open to love. Why do you assume I’m not? I feel like you’re making assumptions about me.
June 26, 2026 at 11:33 am #458917RobertaParticipantDear Kris
I am sorry if you feel that I am making assumptions about you. I was trying to get a better picture of you, other than a person who had lost 2 jobs, therapist dying & had not found a romantic partner.
Most of the congregation in our local churches are 50+, I hope that there are some likeminded people your age at your church.
Working in opthalmics is a wonderful aspiration, to help people see better, does the training take long?
I practiced Karate for several years & then swapped to Tai Chi & Qigong as they are non-combatative & gentler on my aging body.
So there is no-one in your Karate class that makes your heart flutter?
I am by nature a bit of a solutionist, which can be annoying for those I interact with, so thank you for pulling me up.
Kind regards
RobertaJune 26, 2026 at 6:51 pm #458924Thomas168ParticipantKris said, “
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My life hasn’t been great.
I was fired from my job cuz I missed too many days due to illness. I also got fired from working for my sister. They both happened at the same time in January. I did an externship at a crappy little doctors office from March to May.
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That was a miserable experience.
My therapist DIED back in April. So it’s been pretty rough. I’m still looking for a job with no luck.
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The only positive thing is that I started esketamine therapy, which treats treat resistant depression.
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Then says, “Who says I’m not happy with myself? I never said I disliked myself. Actually, there’s a lot that I like about myself, like my passion, determination, my empathy, my creativity, ect. You don’t know that I’m not starting conversations or showing interests. I am doing both of those thing. I am open to love. Why do you assume I’m not? I feel like you’re making assumptions about me.”
If one is happy with oneself then why start a post with “My life hasn’t been great”? Needing a therapist and they died? Okay, sounds like a good life and you are very happy with yourself. My post was a general way to look at things. So great they don’t apply to you. You are so happy with yourself. Starting conversations and being open to love?? Depression therapy? Okay, nothing wrong here.
I really must apologize for my assumptions. You aren’t the person I thought you were posting about. My bad. I wish you well and have a good life.
June 26, 2026 at 7:58 pm #458929Thomas168ParticipantThere is no sarcasm in my post. I truly am sorry for making assumptions about Kris. I must have misread her post. And my posts were really over the line. Please accept my apology. I was wrong. You are a good person and very happy with yourself. Open to love and starting conversations. Have a wonderful life.
June 27, 2026 at 7:58 am #458936Kris SimmonsParticipantOkay, I admit I was being a jerk and I apologize for being so harsh. No, I don’t feel like you’re attacking me. I’m sorry for being harsh but don’t you DARE bring up my previous therapist who passed away again. That’s crossing the line.
June 27, 2026 at 11:17 am #458939RobertaParticipantDear Kris
Do you mean me or Thomas or both of us in all/parts of your last post?#
I will certainly endeavor not to cross boundaries once I know about them.
I hope you find church uplifting tomorrow.
Best wishes
Roberta -
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