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ConfusedParticipantHey anita
I mean the fragile and innocence things, i dont feel them for myself at all.
I was referring to the sleeping part 🙂
ConfusedParticipantHow can i know if that’s a projection? I think it’s because of her words i was led to think that..
Well, i feel none of those things for myself, is this bad? 🙁
Same here anita
ConfusedParticipantI dont know if i perceive her as a little girl but i do see her as a bit fragile and innocent..
ConfusedParticipantHey anita
I didnt know this saying about the bees but i googled it and i found it very heart-warming, perhaps u are right 🙂 (even tho this makes me feel nice, i do feel some fear for the “responsibility” too 🙁 )
It’s weird that we’ve spent 5 months exchanging nice things here 🙂
You are right, this word could be a better fit because i don’t seek personal gain out of her. Damn, when i think of how good i make her feel, she smiles, etc, i see her as such an innocent and kind soul and i wanna cry because i feel like i’m gonna fail her 🙁
ConfusedParticipantBtw i didnt know u felt like that 🙂
ConfusedParticipantHaha i didnt think of it like that either, i guess im too selfish focusing only on my own feelings!
She deserves it so i act like it 🙂 but its difficult at times, for example today as soon as i woke up, my mind latched onto her and was trying to push her away, its really weird.
Then be happier than your likings 🙂
ConfusedParticipantYes thats how i am thinking in the past couple of days.. She is so loving and kind and happy, that makes me happy too sometimes and i can have some warm feelings back for a while.
I like how u frame that, i hadn’t thought like this, mostly been focusing on how I feel 🙂
ConfusedParticipantI am trying to not act based on my feelings (which are very down atm, almost anhedonia) and rather act on my values and what i was feeling before, because they say feelings follow actions.
Yes that’s how i feel for everyone sort of.. Well, its complicated haha, sometimes i act like a mirror which is not good i know, but mostly ill be myself.
ConfusedParticipantIt’s like i owe her (or anyone for that matter), the same kindness, enthusiasm, creativity and all those things that i might not have.
ConfusedParticipantHey anita
Yes i feel like that too, i’ve learned to earn love, not to be given freely so now i feel weird/unsettled.. Its sad because it makes me feel like now i “owe” the other person something.
Yes kinda like that, because my feelings are eluding me right now (maybe what im referring to as “feelings” is the intense infatuation of the honeymoon phase though), that i wont be able to keep up and be good for her, and i’ll hurt her.
ConfusedParticipantIf u mean intense anger, i can barely remember, its been more than 10 years..
I mostly feel frustration rather than anger.Damn, i opened her present and i read her letter, she says that she hasnt stopped thinking about me since the day we started talking (i havent either) and that the way she feels about me scares her. I am crying so much right now because i feel terrified of how she feels about me, that im gonna hurt her and disappoint her eventually, because i can’t feel what i was feeling before all this started. I feel like im leading her on and i cry, i feel like i dont deserve her. What did i do to deserve such a kind and loving soul?
ConfusedParticipantI couldnt login either,its a forum problem i think.
I almost never get angry, its like a rare emotion for me.
ConfusedParticipantHaha, it depends on who i choose to show what part
Sometimes, they tell me i look distant-composed, but most of the time i feel robotic, i can’t be happy or enthusiastic with almost anything, when people around me are happy and elated it feels like i’m faking myself sometimes, other times i might feel a bit of joy for a short while, but nothing like the others.
Yeah i think i do but it’s not possible, or at least this is what im learning now, we have to go by action probably.
Sometimes it feels blank sometimes no, it feels warm 🙂
ConfusedParticipantMaybe it’s because u get the backline-story, how i think, cry and care..but to almost everyone out there, i am cold & distant.
Yes exactly, otherwise it feels blank/empty.
ConfusedParticipantThank you very much anita! 🙂
But i do feel like a bad person in the past 4-5 months..Like im ungrateful 🙁
I guess i doubt whatever i cant know for sure yeah, its like my mind cant accept anything if i dont feel it for sure
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 