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How to Raise Your Self-Esteem So You Can Thrive in Life

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“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

Aren’t you tired of it?

You know, that sneaking suspicion you aren’t enough.

That inner commentary about where you fall short all the time. The mean internal remarks about your ability to handle life and how you just don’t measure up.

And aren’t you fed up with how it’s been holding you back from pursuing what you truly desire?

A better relationship or more meaningful …

We Have a Right to Grieve Losses Big and Small

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“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.” ~Robert Gary Lee

It felt like I was being crushed by the weight of the world.

“Impossible,” I thought.

It’s impossible that people actually suffer this kind of pain and survive to tell the tale.

When I thought about it, my stomach contracted as if I’d taken a blow to the gut. I’d gasp for breath and try to find some air through the tears and in between sobs.

So this is what grief felt like.

Now I understood why denial is the first stage of grief. How could you endure this kind …

6 Empowering Lessons Death Taught Me About Life

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“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss in life is what dies inside us while we live” ~Norman Cousins

I am not dead and I am not dying, so you may wonder why I write that death has taught me what I need to know about life.

I lost my mother when I was fifteen. Being a teenager, thoughts of anyone close to me dying had not entered my head. My mother had a brief illness and passed away unexpectedly at age forty-seven.

I remember that my schoolmates came to see me, and I kept thinking …

Get Out of Your Head: The Life-Changing Power of Embodying Your Body

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“The modern individual is committed to being successful, not to being a person. He belongs rightly to the ‘action generation’ whose motto is ‘do more but feel less.’” ~Alexander Lowen

I’ve always been a little bit scared of my body. And when you’re scared of something, you tend to avoid it at all costs. So that’s what I did for most of my childhood and teenage years.

I avoided it in lots of different ways, and most dangerously, I avoided it unconsciously.

I was bought up doing a lot of physical activity—gymnastics, dance, basketball, and horseback riding. Although this wasn’t …

Release the Stress: Plan, but Know That Plans Change

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“Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision. Visions don’t change, they are only refined. Plans rarely stay the same, and are scrapped or adjusted as needed. Be stubborn about the vision, but flexible with your plan.” ~John C. Maxwell

This year started as a complete mess for me.

After a five-week holiday away from December to January, it was difficult to get back to London and into the swing of things. Not only was I still in holiday mode, but I also came back without a plan.

I am at a point in my life where I …

The Trap of Thinking You’re Special and Entitled to Success

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“Life is not designed to give us what we need; life is designed to give us what we deserve.” ~Jim Rohn

Is there something wrong with being special?

Short answer: yes.

But why is that? Being special is… special!

That’s true, but there’s a downside most people aren’t aware of.

Before we go any further, let me clarify what I mean by “being special.”

In short, being special is about thinking that what applies to others doesn’t apply to you, thinking that you’re an exception to the rules of life that others have to follow.

It has nothing to do …

8 Simple Ways to De-Stress and Rejuvenate When You Can’t Take a Vacation

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“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

It’s a common theme—jobs keep piling up, new problems arise, and deadlines are nearing. Taking time out for yourself to de-stress and rejuvenate is so far down the to-do list you don’t even consider it a possibility.

But the long-term effects of putting yourself last are real, especially because they take a while to show. They creep up slowly until one day you’ve burnt out.

When I was in this position, it didn’t …

How to Let Go of the Limiting Stories That Keep You Stuck and Unhappy

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“It’s not what you look at that matters; it’s what you see.” ~Henry David Thoreau

We don’t see with our physical eyes, we see with our minds. I learned this lesson the hard way when I turned fifty-five. Suddenly, new wrinkles, deeper crow’s feet, dry eyes, and dryer skin seem to enjoy welcoming me each morning when I looked in my mirror.

I began to notice other people my age and I would automatically compare my appearance to theirs. Was she younger looking than me? Did she still appear under fifty (even when I knew she wasn’t)?

As you might …

Stop Worrying About Being Good Enough and Start Accepting Yourself

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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”~Anna Quindlen

“I’m not actually happy,” I heard myself saying.

They were words I hadn’t yet admitted to myself, but I found myself sharing with a friend and mentor several years ago.

At the time, I was deeply identified with living a happy life. I was also deeply identified with the views of what you might call a cult, something I’ll explain more in a moment.

I was always working on bettering myself, and I devoted my life …

How to Defeat Your Insecurities and Tell Someone You Love Them

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“Our own ego judges us, so we become afraid of self-awareness. If it’s not puffing us up to look better than others, it’s tearing us down—anything to block us from feeling at one with reality and who we are.” ~Beth Maynard Green

Have you ever had insecurities stand in your way?

Have you ever felt afraid to tell someone how you feel?

Have you ever felt like someone could never love you the same way you love them?

We all have insecurities that hold us back in our professional life, our social life, and most of all, our love life…

Coping with Anxiety When People Aren’t There for You

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“People aren’t always going to be there for you. That’s why you need to learn to handle things on your own.” ~Unknown

Anxiety is a box around your mind. It’s the cage in which your deepest worries start to pace, then walk, and gain momentum until they’re out of control.

Once these worries and scenarios take off and hit the walls of this box, they’re trapped, and tension starts building.

It can be an exhausting cycle of stress that you might think you have to face alone if you want to avoid opening yourself up to pity or rejection.

You …

How to Move Through Anxiety: A 5-Step Process for Feeling Unfelt Emotions

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“Anxiety happens when you try to think what you need to feel.” ~Unknown

Anxiety results from unfelt feelings. I battled anxiety for years because I was scared to admit that I was scared. When I felt a wave of anxiety, I would harden myself like a concrete pillar and refuse to be moved. I thought this made me strong, but it halted my emotional progress.

I didn’t have anxiety until my last major breakup four years ago. I was ashamed to consider myself weak, so I hid the pain in the back of my mind like skeletons in a closest.…

Whose Mind Is It Anyway? Get Out of Your Head & Into Your Life (Giveaway!)

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Note – This winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are:

  • Stephanie
  • Kait Husmann

A few years back, Tiny Buddha contributor Lisa Esile wrote a post about negative thinking that was incredibly eye opening.

Titled 3 Reasons to Stop Worrying About Your Negative Thoughts, her post suggested that instead of trying to suppress negative thoughts or replace them with positive ones—as conventional wisdom suggests—we should observe them, choose not to believe them, and let them naturally pass.

Brilliant, I thought. Don’t feel bad about the thoughts that go through your head (which adds guilt on top of the …

7 Tips to Help You Scale Back on Social Media & Reclaim Your Time

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“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.” ~Theophrastus

We’ve all been there.

We’re supposed to write a paper, send an email, do our job!

We have deadlines, places to see, people to meet, and yet we find ourselves (for the umpteenth time) perusing our Facebook timeline, scrolling our Instagram feed, or catching up on Twitter updates.

Whether it’s YouTube, Facebook, or Twitter, we are all experts at self-distraction, and we wonder where all that time goes!

It’s actually getting a bit scary. Social media addiction is a real thing, and research from the University of Maryland shows …

5 Ways to Show Your Love to Others (and Yourself)

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“Love isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.” ~Steven Hayes

Things go wrong in life. Distress and confusion can take root, sometimes leading to harsh self-criticism, depression, or anxiety.

We sense that love heals, and it does.

I once visited an orphanage for abandoned infants, and every toddler who I carried clung tightly to me. I can still feel their little arms clasping me desperately.

We crave love as we crave oxygen.

But what is love?

Is it something you wait for?

What if love is more than a feeling?

What if your choices and actions can bring the spirit …

How to Move from Grief to Relief After Losing a Loved One

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“When a person is born we rejoice, and when they’re married we jubilate, but when they die we try to pretend nothing has happened.” ~Margaret Mead

It was five years ago this month that my father passed away from cancer. About four months before his death, his oncologist gave him a bleak diagnosis, telling him to get his affairs in order because he could die at any time.

Our entire family was dumbstruck. Here was a man who appeared to be strong and generally healthy.

He was a youthful sixty-eight years old. Just months into his retirement after a long …

How to Boost Your Resilience So Nothing Can Keep You Down

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“No matter how much falls on us, we keep plowing ahead. That’s the only way to keep the roads clear” ~Greg Kincaid

How is it that some people can breeze through physical and emotional pain, whereas others wince at the mere thought of it?

Is it their genes? Their individual circumstances? Their support network?

Or is it a certain strength of character, something each and every one of us can develop with the right tools and training?

Two years ago I found myself needing to answer these questions.

I was sitting in a cafe in East London, wiping the tears …

When Things Go Wrong: 5 Tips for Navigating Your “Why Me” Moments

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“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

Have you ever been cruising down the highway of life only to unexpectedly hit a major pothole that completely threw you off? Maybe you lost a job, ended a relationship, or were betrayed by a friend.

It’s easy to wonder “why did this happen to me?” and stay buried in the pothole. It’s up to us to break free and regain our cruising speed on our life journey. Easier said than done, right?…

How to Create Happiness in Zero Easy Steps

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“To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful. It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.” ~Jill Bolte Taylor

I was fifteen when I first noticed that I was depressed. That was also when I became seriously interested in happiness.

How can I get my hands on it? Where does it come from? Why does it seem so natural to some people?

I wrestled with those questions for quite a while.

Fast forward to ten years later and things look a …

8 Meditation Mistakes to Avoid if You Want to Feel Calm and Peaceful

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“Three things you cannot recover in life: the word after it’s said, the moment after it’s missed, and the time after it’s gone.” ~Unknown

Do you meditate?

I do. I come from a Buddhist family, and meditation is like an heirloom to me.

I didn’t start meditating until I was an adult. But when I did, I meditated diligently. From forming a meditation habit to getting the latest meditation app, I’ve done it all.

And one day I got a little worried.

I didn’t feel much difference. I didn’t feel calm and peaceful like I was supposed to feel.…