Hey Mollie:

It’s encouraging- to read about a mother (yours) willing to look inward and make changes, however difficult.

It’s difficult to change long-standing thinking and behavior. Way easier to keep going just as before.

I imagine it’d be difficult for me, if I was a mother, to NOT rush to save my adult children from making mistakes. And yet, it’d be MY mistake to do that rushing.

A child- minor or adult- needs enough space and distance from a parent to develop and practice one’s own agency, which includes falling and getting up again and be allowed to do that without unasked for interference.

It’s a healthy practice for your mother to not rush to save her children.. as well as for you to not rush to save your mother 🙂

✨️ 🌿 Anita

Thank you, Mollie 🩷

I’m doing alright considering my dog peed on my bed yesterday, something I never imagined could happen, and he did it twice 😱 I’m very tired from the stress and having to sleep on a sleeping bag of sorts on the floor in the sunroom.

What you shared about your mum yesterday really stayed with me. It sounds like something in you softened when she stepped back a little — almost like you could breathe in a new way.

Sometimes when a parent begins to give more space, it opens up a different kind of space inside us too.

How did it feel in your body after that conversation with her — lighter, heavier, mixed?

I was also thinking about the recent exchange with your brother, almost like you took on the parent role and he was like a rebellious teenager. Does it feel like that to you?

✨️ 🌿 Anita

Good Sunday morning, Mollie 🙂

Thank you. Last night was the 2nd night on a thin mattress on the floor and I am indeed tired. The good news- Bogart seems healthy (I was worried about a UTI). He’s energetic and affectionate. I forgave him for what he did- without malice, of course (no anger left), just hope to learn from what happened so that it’d be very unlikely to happen again.

“She just feels safe and calm”- that’s wonderful 👏

It’s understandable that she got over- involved with her children following her mother being under- involved in her life, as a child. It makes sense.

Makes me think of the Buddhist concept of “the middle way” as the healthy alternative- somewhere in the middle of 2 extremes.

Sounds like both your parents are good people who are doing their best. And it’s wonderful that your brother is self- sufficient..

I wonder if “extremely” self- sufficient requires Middle Way adjustment 🤔

He craves freedom because of past over- involved parenting? I am guessing he needs lots of space, and supporting him means giving him all the space that he needs ✨️✨️✨️

I have 2 much younger half-siblings on my father’s side, with whom I did not grow up, and have no contact, and a younger sister with whom I did grow up but haven’t seen in 14 years (living in another continent far, far away). We talk on the phone and she is very nice and kind to me. I am grateful for that!

I hope to have a positive update for you in regard to my sleeping arrangement and Bogart tomorrow 😊

Lovely to read from you, Mollie. Actually I feel better just because we talked this morning 🙏💛

Anita

Good morning, Mollie ✨

I like what you wrote about the scales in law — that image of balance feels so aligned with the Middle Way. It’s beautiful that you’re finding your own version of it, both in your studies and within your family. And I agree with you: we all topple to extremes at times, and then slowly learn how to stand in the middle with more steadiness.

As for my sister — the conversations are kind, but they don’t quite bring comfort yet. I think my body still associates “family” with a certain background hum of anxiety. But it’s still good to have that small thread of connection.

Speaking of toppling to extremes, I had a bit of a scare last night. Bogart managed to chew on a pill bottle on the dresser, and I wasn’t sure whether he swallowed any. It gave me quite a fright. Thankfully, he’s completely himself this morning — he’s actually asleep on my lap as I write this. Puppies do love to chew anything within reach, and I just didn’t expect a pill bottle to be one of those things.

Did you ever have a pet? I don’t remember if we talked about that.

Be well, Mollie. 💘🧡✨

Good Thursday Mollie!

I’m sorry the interview went badly and that you didn’t get the outcome you hoped for. What stands out to me, though, is how you’re letting yourself feel the disappointment without going into self‑blame- and that’s healthy 🙂

About the emotional eating — the important part is the way you noticed it, reflected on it, and didn’t spiral. You didn’t binge. You didn’t disconnect. You didn’t punish yourself afterward. You just had a sad moment and ate while sad — which is something every human being does sometimes.

The important part is that you’re relating to it differently now, with awareness and gentleness. That’s what recovery looks like in real life. ✨✨✨ When a coping mechanism is truly losing its grip, it doesn’t disappear overnight — it just stops feeling like the only option, and it loses its intensity and its power. And that’s what you’re describing.

Bogart was named after Humphrey Bogart, the famous 1940s movie star, Bogart has been a good boy for the 2nd day (and night) in a row! How is Ralph the cockapoo a naughty boy? I was wondering (my analytical mind was wondering) were you scratched by a cat years before you were bitten by a dog?

Anita

Hi Mollie

You are very welcome 🙏 ✨️

Humphrey Bogart is most famous for “Casablanca” (1942), where he played an American nightclub owner in Morocco during World War II, a story about sacrifice, moral courage, and lost love.

I just looked up The Banshees of Inisherin (2022… 80 years after Casablanca), a dark tragicomedy set on a remote Irish island in 1923. With no warning, Colm tells (the devastated) Padriac that he wants nothing more to do with him and ultimately tells him that, if Padriac persists in attempting to relate to him, Colm will amputate one of his own fingers, which he did, but Padriac kept trying to reconnect with Cold, so Colm cut off four more fingers.

I am reading that Psychologically, Colm represents the person who retreats into isolation and self‑destruction when overwhelmed, while Pádraic represents the person who clings harder when faced with loss, unable to tolerate emotional separation. Colm cannot tolerate closeness and Padriac cannot tolerate abandonment. Fascinating, Mollie, I am intrigued!

Mollie: “I really am a dog person… not a cat person… because when I was younger a cat scratched me… I was scratched by a cat when I was about 10; and then bitten by a dog when I was 21!”-

Fascinating and I suspected you were scratched by the 🐱 as a child, and years later, bitten by the 🐶. The term “formative years” refers to our childhood years because that’s when we’re psychologically formed, and I suppose the scratching by the cat formed you into “not a cat person”.

Really a pleasure talking to you this Saturday morning. No special plans for the weekend. Hope you have a pleasant weekend!

✨ 🥰 🤍 🐾 Anita