- This topic has 69 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 1 day ago by
anita.
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April 10, 2026 at 11:12 am #456811
anitaParticipantSo good to read back from you, Mollie 💚
I am sorry to read that your brother and his girlfriend broke up and that it has taken an emotional toll on the family. I hope living with him works out. I see that you’re hopeful that it will.
It’s late morning here and I’m about to start the day: walking the dog, doing some work in the yard, and later joining people for the last day at the taproom downtown as it’s closing (a get together place since 2017 😔).
I would like to write more when I’m back late this evening or tomorrow morning.
🤍 💚 Anita
April 10, 2026 at 11:16 am #456812
MollieParticipantWonderful to hear from you!
You have a lovely day and I look forward to hearing about your get together with your friends. Sad to hear your taproom is closing down… but onto new adventures 🥳
Take care 🥰April 10, 2026 at 9:13 pm #456821anitaParticipantDear Mollie:
I’m glad to read that you’re focusing on yourself and on your studies.
Maybe, just maybe what your brother needs is space, distance- to not be focused on by your mother (however caring she is)?
I don’t know, just thinking out loud.
Was at the taproom, to be closed for good in 2 hours. Saw familiar face, heard familiar sounds of people I only wish to see/ hear again somewhere else: Kym and Chris, Kim and Tod and Greg and Adam and so many others. A closing of a 2017-2026 era.
Thank you, Mollie, for being the uniquely caring, intelligent young person that you are.
🙏 🤍 💚 Anita
April 11, 2026 at 9:10 am #456832anitaParticipantHello again, Mollie 🙂
I just read through our communication on this thread and, first- I was amazed (again) by how kind, thoughtful and emotionally generous you are, as well as intelligent and articulate, all- in my mind- at a level beyond your years.
Secondly, I noticed something you wrote back in Nov, paraphrased a bit (I am using my phone, so can’t look it up): your parents’ parents were not involved enough in their lives.
It’s possible that with best intentions, they decided to be the opposite of their own parents and be super involved in their children’s lives (yours and your brother’s).
Too involved.
Over-involvement can create too much pressure to please the parents which can lead to anxiety (in your case) and/ or anger (your brother.. at least in the past, leading to the arguments you mentioned)?
It is common that parents take things too far when trying to compensate for their own childhoods, to be better parents than their own.
I am curious about your thoughts on what I wrote here 🤔
🤍 💚 Anita
April 11, 2026 at 12:38 pm #456842MollieParticipantHi Anita,
Again, thank you so much for your kind words! I feel you have been an important part in my journey. You always given me food for thought, and have opened up parts of myself that I didn’t quite realise were there. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
I’m sure yesterday was bittersweet for you. Seeing your people in your local place and having a wonderful time, but now the place is shutting down… I really hope you all are able to stay together and find a new stomping ground as they say!
Yes, bless my parents I do believe that they have had poor parenting and therefore naturally they sometimes overcompensate. My mum is worried, not so much about me, but about my brother. People do feel on tenderhooks around him as he is quite emotionally unpredictable, and sometimes it feels like walking on eggshells. It’s difficult to disagree with him. I don’t mind so much the disturbance of having a flatmate but I notice that I am a bit more anxious at his being here, even though he has done nothing wrong.
I found today difficult as it’s the penultimate weekend before my exams are finished, i’m not quite done but the end is in sight. I don’t want to overdo it with the studies but at the same time while resting, I feel as though I am passing the time until the exams come. It’s not so bad I guess. I am seeing/calling friends, spending time outside, making meals.
Just had to tell you. How are you today?
April 11, 2026 at 4:26 pm #456846anitaParticipantHi Mollie:
I read your words earlier but had to take some time to absorb your super kind words. I copied them for my private record so to not lose them in case the thread or the website disappears.
I felt a bit depressed earlier but feeling better now. Thank you for asking and for cheering me up 🙏
It’s understandable that you feel more anxious living with your brother, being that he has been emotionally unpredictable and didn’t tolerate disagreements in the past.
I wonder if the two of you (after your exam/s perhaps) come up with.. rules of engagement, or household rules, so to maximize predictability and minimize walking on eggshells 🤔
Thank you for sharing things with me and glad to read you are socializing and spending time outside. I wish you well on the next weekend exam (or exams, I forgot and can’t go back to the previous page without losing this message).
Socializing here with you is making me feel better, (as well as Bogart lying down on my lap like a baby) 🙂
🤍 💚 ✨️ Anita
April 12, 2026 at 9:03 am #456862MollieParticipantHello Anita,
It is good to hear from you. I’m sorry to hear you had a low day yesterday. I understand that depression can be exhausting and debilitating -leaving no energy left for you. Are you feeling better today? 🙏🏽From your message I gather that Bogart is your dog or cat? That’s nice you have him/her. I read somewhere that stroking animals can literally release endorphins and calm our nervous systems, so it’s good you have your pet to support you ☺️
Yes I think a conversation will naturally arise. Today, he made a comment which pricked my eyes (as in tears)- it is his delivery that catches me sometimes. But then he was fine moments afterwards. He’s better than he was before but hopefully he will just soften.
Thank you for the well wishes for the exams. They are this coming Thursday, and then next Tuesday and Thursday. Nearly done, after 5 or so years of study!
I wasn’t feeling 100% today so I am in the bath and having lots of tea and ginger/lemon water. Sometimes I feel guilt at not studying all the time – it’s a weird feeling. But then I gently remind myself that these exams are huge and long 8-hour days on repeat are not the way to go. Better to do little and often…
Hugs, Mollie 🥰
April 12, 2026 at 9:04 am #456863MollieParticipantps – have you ever tried the app Insight Timer? It is amazing, full of meditations (of all lengths and varieties). It has been my saving grace at times!
April 12, 2026 at 9:59 am #456864anitaParticipantHello Mollie 🙂
Bogart is a 🐕 and a he. He’s,9 months old, and very affectionate with other dogs and with humans. He’s particularly attached to me. Actually, he’s my first ever dog/ pet.
And yes, a pet can be.. an emotion regulating helper. It goes both ways. Dogs get anxious too.
I will check the app you recommended when I have the use of the 🖥 (using my 📱, hence all the emojis, they show up as I type and I can’t resist them 😉)
Yes, I am feeling better, thank you. Thing is current lows are so much higher than past lows (those felt devastating, maybe 10 years ago or even earlier touch 🪵)
Three more test days, how exciting, seeing the completion of five 🙌 years of study. Of course, studying all the time is not a good idea. We all need rest to recharge.
I 👍 how you talk sense to yourself when feeling guilty.
I’m glad your brother is better, more self- regulated than he was before. I wonder if it has something to do with him living with you vs him living with his- your parents.
Bogart just settled right beside me 🙂
Currently emotionally regulated 😉, Anita
April 12, 2026 at 10:16 am #456865anitaParticipantAnd thank you for the hugs, a 🤗 back 2 U 🙂
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