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Ex reached out after almost two years

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  • This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years ago by Inky.
Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #292893
    Connie
    Participant

    I would like to gain some insight for my current situation.

    Background: this ex and I broke up almost 2 years ago. It was not a very peaceful breakup and we had stopped any kinds of communication completely.

    Recently he resurfaced after 18 months of silence.

    He first resurface was to respond to a text message I sent a long time ago. I have already moved on and so when he reached out, it didn’t really bother me but I felt the chat wasn’t going anywhere so I texted him I moved overseas and stopped responding.

    A month later, earlier this week, I received another text from him. This time the text is really long and sentimental. He said he missed me every day and was glad that I was happy. He said our breakup had completely broken his heart. And he hadn’t moved on yet. He kept emphasizing that our breakup was based on the fact that he wanted me to be happy.

    I am really confused here (well, not that confused since my life has totally changed since we were last together.) I now have my own life and social circle, and I have been dating and meeting different people.

    However, it’s sour for me to read that message. I felt bad for him, or even started thinking maybe I should give us another chance. I still care about him deeply. He didn’t make any moves besides the text though. He was assuming I already left the country.

    I think my point here is: his message kinda pulled me back, not to the square one, but to a thought that maybe I should try working things out again with him. I really loved this person.

    But on the other hand, I just started seeing a wonderful guy. It’s not a match in the heaven, however things have been effortless with him.

    I know I am the only one who can make the decision, so I would like to have a third-party input on this.

    Thanks!

     

     

     

    #292915
    Mark
    Participant

    Connie,

    You feel sour from hearing from him.  You still care about him deeply.

    I believe you can still love and care deeply about someone and not be in a romantic relationship.  You can love him from a distance, in absentia as it were.

    I wonder what caused the breakup from him.  I wonder why the breakup was not peaceful.

    Mark

    #292921
    Thondit
    Participant

    Dear Connie ,

    Thank for being optimistic and open to your man! My advice is go all out !!!! Accept each again and try to fixed things together and filed the rest under the pillow.  Try to forget the past and concentrate with your amazing couple ,,,,, , no smooth relationship without any quarrel . Go with your amazing man. Thanks  hello are you there ??

    #292929
    Valora
    Participant

    Did he break up with you 2 years ago, you with him, or was it mutual?

    I think you should just maybe give it some time and see if your head clears. Keep getting to know the guy you’ve been seeing since that could potentially go somewhere or develop into something, and if that isn’t an exclusive relationship and you are still wondering if you should give your ex another chance, I don’t think it would hurt to get to know him on a friend level, just to see if he has grown and changed in a similar way that you have or you may not even be compatible now. I’d think your decision would become more clear over some time.

    #292943
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Connie:

    September 3- 5, 2017, you shared about this man, your ex boyfriend: “During the course of our relationship, I caught him lying many ties, oftentimes including lies that’s not important or relevant to  our relationship. I got tired of confronting because it only led to fights, or his so-called drama. Eventually I lost count of how many times he lied to me… it didn’t occur to me till recently that I started to realize my insecurity was actually caused by his dishonestly… The lies I can immediately name: … his phone was stolen so he couldn’t contact me, his car was smashed the night he disappeared, etc… he’s a great talker, he’s good at selling things with fancy words”.

    Earlier this week, May 2019, he texted you that “he missed me every day and was glad that I was happy. He said our breakup had completely broken his heart. And he hadn’t moved on yet…”-

    – maybe he is lying, maybe it is his drama, him “selling things with fancy words”?

    anita

    #293067
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Connie,

    I would concentrate on your current suitor. And if you do mover out of the country, that would end things anyway!

    If this guy was a chronic lair, what would have made him change? Consider that he’s only revisiting you because his lies caught up with him.

    Best,

    Inky

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