Posts tagged with “happy”
Two Types of Boundaries That Can Help You Take Good Care of Yourself
âDaring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.â ~BrenĂ© Brown
Do you have the courage to love yourself and set the boundaries you need?
For years I didnât, and wondered why my life didnât work. I didnât really understand what boundaries were or why I needed them.
My severe lack of boundaries allowed me to give away my energy, time, power, and love to others, leaving virtually nothing for myself.
For years I lived in a perpetual state of lack, feeling like I wasnât enough. Looking back, it makes sense …
How to Embrace Your Sensitive Superpower and Stop Feeling Overwhelmed
âWith realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.â â Dalai Lama
Sensitivity can feel like a gift or a burden, depending on our relationship to it.
If you often feel completely overwhelmed by an overload of stimulation, then your sensitivity probably doesnât feel like an asset. Maybe more like a liability. But it doesnât have to be this way.
As an introvert and sensitive person, Iâve navigated these waters my whole life, and Iâve come to realize that sensitivity is more than a giftâitâs a superpower! But first we need to …
Why Compliments Made Me Cringe and How Iâve Learned to Accept Praise
âEven when the sea is stirred up by the winds of self-doubt, we can find our way home.â ~Tara Brach
What is it about praise thatâs so hard to hear sometimes?
You know the drill. You do something noteworthy, like cooking a meal for your friends, or getting on stage to do a talk. Assuming things go okay, your friends or colleagues tell you a bunch of nice, encouraging things afterward:
âThis meal is delicious!â
âYou did great up there!â
And suddenly you feel uncomfortable.
Maybe you deflect those nice, encouraging words (âOh it was nothing, reallyâ). Or …
My Needs Matter Too: How I Started Speaking Up and Setting Boundaries
âSetting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesnât make me mean, selfish, or uncaring just because I donât do things your way. I care about me, too.â ~Christine Morgan
In my early twenties, I could shout into a megaphone at a political rally of thousands, but I couldnât decline drinks from strangers at the bar. I could perform original music for an attentive audience, but I couldnât tell my friends when I felt hurt by something theyâd said. I could start a business, advocate for new laws at City Hall, and share deeply personal poetry on Facebook, …
Accepting My Autistic Self: Why Iâm Done Trying to Fit In
âI care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.â ~Charlotte BrontĂ«, Jane Eyre
A common misconception about autistic people is that we donât care if weâre alone. Of course this varies with each person, but on the whole, itâs untrue. We want to feel included, itâs just not easy for us to fit in. There are other days when I feel autism has separated me so fully from other people that I am functioning on a different plane of existence, not just with a different …
How to Find Your Fighting Spirit When Life Gets Tough
âSometimes, life will kick you around, but sooner or later, you realize youâre not just a survivor. Youâre a warrior, and youâre stronger than anything life throws your way.â ~Brooke Davis
No matter how positive we are, how healthily we live, or how much kindness, generosity, or fairness we practice, shit happens. To all of us. And suddenly, we find ourselves juggling more balls than it seems humanly possible to juggle.
Iâve had my share of this…
When my father died suddenly when I was in my twenties. When I was lost in a bottomless depression for two …
How Lowering Our Expectations Helps Us Do What We Really Want to Do
âHuman beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.â ~William James
Despite being the sort of person whoâs constantly generating self-improvement to-do lists, Iâve never been big into making New Yearâs resolutions. If I make any at all, they usually occur as an afterthought, frequently after the fact, and without much in the way of any real resolution.
However, this January I suddenly decided my resolution for 2019 should be to lower my expectations.
My whole life Iâve been an overachieving, Type A perfectionist. The sort of person who obsessively stresses about getting work in on time, …
Love Them Today, Before Their Tomorrowâs Taken Away
âBefore someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.â ~Michelle C. Ustaszeski
Last year, my grandfather passed away.
He had gone to the hospital many times before. Sometimes he went for a minor sickness, sometimes for a severe condition. Unfortunately, the last time he went, we found out that he didnât have much time left. He was diagnosed with last stage bladder cancer.
It was a shock to our family. My grandfather had always been a survivor. Heâd survived the war, the darkest moment of the country. We couldnât imagine he would lose his life …
It’s Not All Love and Light: Why We Can’t Ignore the Dark and Just “Be Positive”
âThe dark night of the soul comes just before revelation.â ~Joseph Campbell
If you frequent Instagram or any other social media platform these days, you may notice countless posts about positivity, self-help, yoga, and green juice. And gluten-free everything.
Most of us equate these messages with spirituality and good vibes. I wonât disagree. These messages do promote good vibes. But, the problem is these posts donât tell the whole story, and once we log off, many of us still feel incomplete, fearful, and insecure because all of these âinfluencersâ and gurus seem to have it all figured out.
Iâm …
9 Lessons from my 9-Month-Old Nephew, Whoâs Taught Me How to Live
âThe mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.â ~William Arthur Ward
Oliver.
Ahh, my heart skips a beat at just the sound of his name.
In 2018, a tiny human being arrived on the planet, one who would change my life. In the short nine months my nephew Oliver has been in my life, Iâve learned a lot. Iâm not talking about changing nappies and bottle-feeding, although Iâm getting to grips with these essentials too. No, Oliver has taught me valuable lessons about life itself. Here are nine of the biggest.
1.
…The Invisible Effects of Social Media: When Itâs Time to Stop Scrolling
âWhat you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.â ~Unknown
Is there a more precious commodity than time? Itâs the currency of life; the most basic finite resource, and we have a responsibility to spend it wisely. Itâs up to us each individually to figure out what that means to us. For me, that means being mindful of the people, activities, and thoughts to which I give my time and energy.
I am an obsessive reader, and at any one time I have at least fifteen books checked out of the …
The Beauty of Doing Nothing: Why Iâve Embraced Being Unproductive
âEvery good cause is worth some inefficiency.â ~Paul Samuelson
I made a mess yesterday. The mess is still there. Who knows when the mess will disappear.
The mess provided me with one of those sense-pleasing plates of food that lingers in the mind long after the last bite. The kind that makes you wonder if there is a rhyme and reason to our world after all. A plate of food so delectable it provided a raison for my ĂȘtre. (If only for a little while.)
But this story is not about the art of nourishing oneself. It is about …
We Keep Going, One Tiny Step at a Time, and We Should Be Proud
“Don’t wait until you reach your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take.” ~Karen Salmansohn
One of the greatest ironies of being human is that weâre often hardest on ourselves right when we should be most proud.
Letâs say you finally find the courage to start a dream project youâve fantasized about for as long as you can remember. You push through years of built-up fears, overcome massive internal resistance, and take the leap despite feeling like youâre jumping through a ring of fire, above a pit filled with burning acid.
Itâs one of …
What to Ask Yourself When You Feel Lost, Unsure, or Confused
“The quality of your life is a direct reflection of the quality of the questions you are asking yourself.” ~Tony Robbins
I am naturally inclined to doâto go, to move, to take action. Slowing down takes a lot of patience for me. But I often find that moving too quickly actually causes me more confusion.
One day, my head felt overwhelmed with questions. What had started with a simple idea of little ole me living in a tiny house on wheels (one of those under 200 square feet homes built on a trailer) had turned into a big undertaking …
Overcoming Intergenerational Trauma: We Can Break the Cycle of Abuse
“Our ancestors knew that healing comes in cycles and circles. One generation carries the pain so that the next can live and heal. One cannot live without the other, each is the other’s hope, meaning and strength.” ~Gemma B. Benton
I thought I had no value, my opinion meaningless. My sense of self was decimated. Finally, I got angry and attacked.
“You can’t imagine the pain you’ve put me through!” I yelled. “You don’t even know who I am. You can’t see it. You’re refusing to take responsibility for the way you raised me! Not thinking is not an excuse! …