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Posts tagged with “emotions”

Are You Highly Emotionally Reactive? You May Be Stuck in Survival Mode

ā€œSurvival mode is supposed to be a phase that helps save your life. It is not meant to be how you live.ā€ ~Michele Rosenthal

Childhood is the most cherished time for many. However, nobody gets to adulthood unscathed. We all go through incidents with our friends, family, and at school or otherwise that leave us feeling emotionally bruised or scarred.

Growing up in a household where my parents were busy raising three kids and working hard to better their economic status, somewhere along the way I felt neglected. Not that they did anything intentionally, but I was often …

How I Broke My Stress Eating Habit When Nothing Else Worked

ā€œThe pain seems so much more difficult than the cookies. But itā€™s not. The pain covered in cookies becomes pain covered in fat covered in more pain.ā€ ~Brooke Castillo

Do you ever eat when you’re stressed, sad, tired, alone?

Bag of chips after a hard day?

Ordering the take-out when your partnerā€™s away?

I did.

Seven years ago, my newborn baby cried every evening.

I’d feed her, change her, and blow raspberries on her neck. Still, she screamedā€”like a smoke alarm you couldn’t stop.

I tried singing to her, burping her, begging her…

I felt useless, desperate.

In my journalism

How Iā€™ve Released the Heavy Weight of My Persistent Guilt

ā€œNo amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worry can change the future.” ~Umar

Every emotion is felt by the body in a different way.

Pain can be sharp and biting, with a desire to lash out. Anxiety can also be sharp and biting, but with a desire to lash within. Sadness can feel like your body turning into stone, making every step seem impossible.

We all feel these emotions at times, but holding onto them is what causes damage. We must learn to shed them, as any ā€œnegativeā€ emotion, if held on for too long, …

I Thought Meditation Would Fix My Anxiety ā€“ Hereā€™s Why It Wasnā€™t Enough

ā€œYour mind, emotions, and body are instruments and the way you align and tune them determines how well you play life.ā€ ~Harbhajan Singh Yogi

The earliest memory of my anxiety was at ten years old in fifth grade.

I remember it so vividly because in middle school the bus came at 6:22am exactly in the morning.

Each night I would look at my Garfield clock and think, ā€œIf I fall asleep now, Iā€™ll get five hours of sleepā€¦. If I fall asleep now, Iā€™ll get four hours of sleepā€¦ If I fall asleep now, Iā€™ll get three hours of sleepā€¦ā€…

Why Your Anger Is the Key to Maintaining Your Boundaries

ā€œBoundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.ā€ ~Henry Cloud

Late last night, I once again found myself unable to sleep, and boy was I angry. So, in order not to disturb my other half, who is always asleep the moment his head touches the pillow, I dragged myself off to the sofa. Once there, sat seething in the dark, I listened to my …

When Youā€™re Becoming a New You: 3 Lessons to Help You on Your Journey

ā€œThere is no place so awake and alive as the edge of becoming.ā€ ~Sue Monk Kidd

From a small cafƩ overlooking the boat harbor in Seward, Alaska, I looked out the window at the enormous mountain peak of Mount Alice that protruded from the earth behind rows of tour boats, sailboats, and a cruise ship large enough to carry several thousand passengers. The last few days of my summer there were coming to an end, and I reflected with gratitude on my time there.

Located directly off the Gulf of Alaska and within Kenai Fjords National Park, Seward is a …

Forbidden Emotions: The Feelings We Suppress and Why Theyā€™re Not Bad

ā€œThe truth is that there is no such thing as a negative emotion. Emotions only become ā€˜badā€™ and have a negative effect on us when they are suppressed, denied, or unexpressed.ā€ ~Colin Tipping

Emotions are constantly and powerfully guiding our lives, even when we are not aware of them, even when we do not feel them or are convinced that we can exclude them from our experiences.

Emotions give us precious, sometimes indispensable information about what is best for us, about the best choices we can make, about how to behave. They give us information that we often do not …

Why Feeling Anxiety Was the Key to My Happiness

ā€œLean into the discomfort of the work.ā€ ~ BrenĆ© Brown

Anxiety was the core of my existence for decades.

When I look back at my life over that time, what comes to mind first is the constant tension in my chest, a knotted stomach, and a lump in my throat.

From the outside, my life looked great. I was college-educated, had a good job, was in a relationship; I lived in a nice place, had a decent car, and enough money to buy organic food and a gym membership.

But I was miserable.

Not only was I anxious all the …

What It Really Means to Be There and ā€œHold Spaceā€ for Someone Else

ā€œA healer does not heal you. A healer is someone who holds space for you while you awaken your inner healer, so that you may heal yourself.ā€ ~Maryam Hasnaa

I was sobbing quite hysterically, huddled into myself sitting on the kitchen floor.

It literally felt like my life was falling apart. And so was I.

I had been striving so hard to start a meaningful business that would change the world and help others, as well as heal myself from intense ongoing physical symptoms. But it seemed the harder I tried, the less things worked.

My head bobbed slightly …

Practicing Emotional Avoidance

How to Embrace Your Sensitivity and See It as a Strength

By

ā€œSensitive people feel so deeply they often have to retreat from the world, in order to dig beneath the layers of pain to find their faith and courage.ā€ ~Shannon L. Alder

Being a highly sensitive person can be rough in a world full of agendas, processes, rules, and numbers. Feelings and senses, being intangible and invisible, are often dismissed because not everyone experiences them in the same way. The intensity of those experiences varies, as well, depending on the individual, which makes it all the more confusing.

Living in a society all about speed and efficiency, feelings can often be …

How My Son Taught Me That Crying Can Boost My Mental Health

ā€œAnd some days life is just hard. And some days are just rough. And some days you just gotta cry before you move forward. And all of that is okay.ā€ ~Unknown

Over the years Iā€™ve built myself a bit of a reputation as ā€œthe emotional one.ā€

I was always the first to cry at weddings, and that included my own. At that one I barely stopped throughout the ceremony! And as soon as Iā€™m beyond the half-way point of any good holiday, itā€™s inevitable that a pretty epic sob is waiting in the wings.

At this point I should probably …

Where Our Inner Critic Comes from and How to Tame It

ā€œYour inner critic is simply a part of you that needs more self-love.ā€ ~Amy Leigh Mercee

We all have that critical and judgmental inner voice that tells us weā€™re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc.

It tells us we donā€™t do anything right. It calls us stupid. It compares us to other people and speaks harshly about ourselves and our bodies. It tells us all the things we did or said ā€œwrongā€ after communicating or connecting with someone.

Sometimes it projects criticism outward onto others so we can feel better about ourselves. Other times we try to …

I Was a Bulimic Nutritionist, but Iā€™m No Longer Ashamed or Hiding

ā€œShame derives its power from being unspeakable.ā€ ~ BrenĆ© Brown

I felt like a hypocrite. I would tell my nutrition clients to eat a salad with vegetables, then I’d go home and scarf down an entire pizza. After guilt and shame set in, I would purge and throw it up.

I think I became a nutritionist partly so I could better control my relationship with food. If I learned the secrets behind eating I could biohack my way to putting the fork down, losing weight, and finally being happy. This was back when I thought thinness equaled happiness.

It’s taken …

How I Stopped Feeling Unworthy of Love (And Finally Learned to Receive It)

ā€œI hope you find love, but more importantly, I hope youā€™re strong enough to walk away from what love isnā€™t.ā€ ~Tiffany Tomiko

When I was in my early thirties, I briefly dated someone right after my divorce.

It was one of those fast and furious things that had no label and left me wondering if I made most of it up in my head.

It wasnā€™t the first time and it wouldnā€™t be the last. How many times had I ended up feeling rejected and abandoned? I was trying so hard to impress a partner, but no matter what …

A Life-Changing Insight: You Are Not a Problem to Be Fixed

ā€œI decided that the single most subversive, revolutionary thing I could do was to show up for my life and not be ashamed.ā€Ā ~Anne Lamott

I remember one particular clear, cold winter morning as I returned home from a walk. I suddenly realized that I had missed the whole experience.

The blue, clear sky.

The lake opening up before me.

The whisper of the trees that I love so much.

I was there in body but not embodied. I was totally, completely wrapped up in the thoughts running rampant in my mind. The worries about others, work, the future; about …

How I Overcame My Debilitating Gut Issues by Digesting My Emotions

ā€œI do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. Then problems fix themselves.ā€ ~Louise Hay

Hereā€™s my secret: In order to fully heal over a decade of debilitating digestive disorders, I had to stop trying to heal. Instead, I had to do nothing. What, do nothing? Yes, thatā€™s exactly rightā€”I had to let go of the search for the perfect cure. Let me explain.

I developed chronic gut problems at age fourteenā€”such a precious age! After being dismissed by doctors (ā€œItā€™s all in your head; itā€™s a girl problemā€), overprescribed antibiotics for years on end, or just given hopelessly …

Where My Depression Really Came From and What Helped Me Heal

ā€œHow you do one thing is how you do everything.ā€ ~Unknown

One afternoon, during a particularly low slump, I was getting out of the shower. Quickly reaching for something on the sink, I knocked an old glass off the counter, shattering it onto the floor.

In most cases, one might experience stress, frustration, or sadness upon accidentally breaking an object that belongs to them. They might feel agitation on top of their already poor mood. But in the moment the glass shattered, I felt instant relief.

It was an old item Iā€™d gotten at a thrift store, and the image …

10 Things to Do When You Feel Sad, Hopeless, and Defeated

ā€œRock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.ā€ ~J.K. Rowling

Iā€™m no stranger to feeling hopeless and defeated. After many failed relationships, physical, sexual and emotional abuse my entire life, two bankruptcies, and the recent loss of my online business (October 2020), you could say Iā€™ve been through enough to last two lifetimes.

Iā€™ll admit, there were many times I wanted it all to end. There were many days I just didnā€™t know how much more I could handle. My recent loss has devastated me beyond words. Everything Iā€™ve worked so hard for in the last …

Learning to Honor My Grief When the World Has Become Desensitized to Loss

ā€œThe answer to the pain of grief is not how to get yourself out of it, but how to support yourself inside it.ā€ ~UnknownĀ 

Since losing my husband Matt over eight months ago to cancer at the age of just thirty-nine, I have noticed so many changes happening within me, and one of those changes is a fierce sense of protectiveness that I have over my grief.

We are living in a unique time in history. The world has turned upside down due to the coronavirus pandemic, and at the time of writing this the UK had just passed 100,000 …