add-on:

I just feel stupid. stupid. stupid.  It’s like he would rather stay at home on his computer or be by himself than hang out with anyone or me for that matter.

Lindsey

Anita,

How was the camping trip?

My weekend was pretty relaxed.  Saturday the kids and I  were at the pool all day long and stopped for dinner on the way home.  We went to bed really early and I dropped the kids off Sunday with their dad.  My Sunday was pretty relaxing.  I ran some errands, walked and took a nap, then cleaned house and made food for the week.   I texted K later in the afternoon to maybe come over later in the evening to watch the season finale of Stranger Things.  He replied right away but I had a feeling he would say no.  (If he does not initiate the plans they don’t really happen) He said maybe it had been a long weekend lots of drama from a cookout Saturday.  He snap chatted later showing a horrible sun burn to part of his face b/c he wore a headband….maybe that’s why he said no.  It was pretty bad lol.

I was proud of myself for no anxiety or worry or OCD thoughts.  I was kind of like whatever.  I feel like my anxiety is getting better as time goes by.  I’m hoping this will continue and it’s not just that I am having a good period for a few months.

Lindsey

Anita,

Very true.  You always make me feel better.  I don’t feel bad about it.  It was kind of relaxing if that makes since.  No pressure.

Lindsey

Anita,

Last week was ok.  I worked on 4th of July and then went to a block party for the kids in their old neighborhood.  I find it hard to be around couples sometimes and also feel that my old neighbors are definitely talking about me behind my back because of me leaving my ex.  My counselor says I should ignore this which I know is true but I can’t help it.  I get down sometimes because I feel like a lot of the life choices I have made have pretty much ruined my life or to be less dramatic they have definitely caused some major set backs.

I also know that I have some major issues with men and relationships and I’m so sick of doing the wrong thing and picking the wrong person.  It gets really old.  K had been out all week sick and on Thursday he messaged me saying he was scared because his nose would not stop bleeding and he wasn’t sure what to do.  It honestly felt good to be needed in the moment.  I told him to go to urgent care and not to worry because my son gets nose bleeds all the time.  I guess he was having some major sinus problems.  Just sucks because he didn’t message me saying thanks or anything later.

My daughter and I had a girls weekend Saturday and watched a movie and got her nails painted.  It was fun and relaxing and I like having one on one’s with them.

My ex and I are starting to talk about filing by the end of the year for divorce.  I’ll keep you posted on that.

Lindsey

Anita,

I’ve been feeling a bit down because I never heard from K. after sending that text Saturday.  But I reread our recent texts and I feel a bit better.  Nothing to report, just another Monday. Working on July 4th for extra cash.  Hope all is well.

Lindsey

Anita,

yeah I didn’t either lol. He just told me and I was like what in the world.  I think he’s feeling stuck and lonely.  She’s a compulsive shopper I guess and they have 2 boys.

So the other evening I was talking to K. about the guy from college and we were making jokes about it and he just said “I’m an awful person seriously.” And he didn’t respond when I asked him why he thought that. So this past Friday we were talking and he was asking about my weekend plans and I said we should hang out and he made a joke but never said anything else about it.  He did the same thing this past Monday.  He’s said a few negative things about himself before but nothing like that.

Lindsey

Anita,

Yes I am distrustful in general with men.  Last night I just relaxed with the kids and didn’t really talk to him much, just wanted to see if the feeling would go away and it did.  Some of my anxiety I think is this guy is actually on my level.  He is good looking, has a good job, a good personality, a good head on his shoulders etc.  K rides the hot mess express bus and M was just a jerk.

So really there is no reason to have anxiety with this, just relax.

Lindsey

Anita,

Nothing to report pretty relaxed week so far.  Just checking hope all is well with you.

Lindsey