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lindsey

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Viewing 15 posts - 646 through 660 (of 662 total)
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  • in reply to: Need advice asap #286657
    lindsey
    Participant

    Ok. Well we were together about 3 months. Ā I was still living with my ex husband in a coparenting type of environment that had been going on for Ā a year and half prior. Ā Iā€™ve worked in the same department with him for 2 years. Ā I would see him in random places like target and at the mall. Ā He seemed nice we would chat and I started to get interested but didnā€™t really hit on him for 6 months. Ā Then we started Skyping at work then texting for a few weeks. Ā We didnā€™t go out on dates bc we live in a small town and I was still living at home and didnā€™t want people knowing or seeing us together plus we did not want anyone at work knowing anything especially sense my ex also works for the same company itā€™s a big company . I would go to his house and eat dinner play with his dog watch movies etc. Ā we talked quite a bit about life. Ā About 3 weeks in he said hey I really like you and didnā€™t expect this to happen but it really canā€™t go anywhere my kids are grown and your kids are really young and Iā€™m done raising kids. Ā I was a bit confused bc in the beginning we both made it clear we were not looking for girlfriend/boyfriend type thing. Ā After that he slowly started to pull away and I got lots of anxiety and worry and started second guessing texts and everything else. Ā So I say to him I want to casually date and go places. Ā He said let me think about it. About 2 weeks later he texted Ā me and said ā€œprobably notā€ on dating Ā bc we r in 2 very difficult places and want different things and He doesnā€™t Ā date. Ā He said he has not dated anyone in 3 years since his divorce but casually saw 2 women. Ā  So I have a break down which was the weekend of valentines and my 40th b day. Ā A week later I Skype him at work and ask to talk with him I go over to his house later and basically say I want things back to how they were. Ā After that he started to just be rude in general with texting. Ā 2 weeks later I sent him a text with letā€™s to something Saturday and he got smart asking ā€œwhyā€ twice. I got mad and he was MIA for about an hour text wise I texted him 2x called once and it went straight to vm. He then texted going off on how he was talking to his daughter who was more important than me and that ā€œ more often than not when he saw me texting him his stomach would turn down instead of up.ā€ Ā I tried to calm down the situation and asked to call him to explain my anxiety etc but he wouldnā€™t answer. Ā I said that I felt awful by how he was texting and acting. Ā I said obviously I have issues from my marriage which he knew some of it. Ā Then he just said he knew I had issues and would pray for me and that we were just in completely different places in life and that I shouldnā€™t feel awful about anything and said goodnight. Ā I never answered and deleted his number and the texts. Ā Iā€™ve ran into him once face to face and I had a disgusted look on my face and looked at his chest as he had to walk around me.

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286653
    lindsey
    Participant

    Please give your input. Ā All I can come up with is i donā€™t want anything awkward at work so Iā€™m going to try and forgive you for your texting remarks and behaviors. Ā I should not have started this at all.

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286639
    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    any type of contact is not a good idea. Ā Heā€™s a introverted narcissist. There will be no kindness from him. Ā Iā€™m getting there slowly lol.

    lindsey

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286635
    lindsey
    Participant

    I have a constant worry that he thinks Iā€™m crazy or unstable in general. Ā I want to get this point across but I will not go to his house 1. Iā€™d have a panic attack there and not be able to talk 2. It looks weird in general to just show up 3. A normal person would probably be over this by now.

    So im wondering if I should actually drop off a letter at his desk when heā€™s not there yet.

    a counselor would say let it go and work on yourself but this roadblock is in my way. Iā€™m a closure kind of person.

    Lindsey

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286613
    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    today was a pretty good day no work summer shopping for myself and kids. Ā When I was driving my brain did itā€™s ocd thing of wanting to go to a holeā€™s house and tell him all of the ways he has hurt me and should burn in hell but I did not go thank god. Ā Do you have any advice on how exactly I can feel better? Ā I want to throw my phone after daily good vibe/positive quotes on Instagram. Ā Those you were too good for him he has missed out he will try to reach out to you in 6 months is a load of crap. Ā He left probably at a run bc I was riding the crazy train. Ā  How exactly would be a way for him to know Iā€™m only slight crazy/emotionally scared/still a cool person in general?

    Lindsey

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286505
    lindsey
    Participant

    Yes itā€™s common sense in a way but not.Ā Ā Unfortunately only time will heal. Ā No reaching out Iā€™d rather eat dirt. Ā Iā€™m going to work on a list but no dating anytime soon at all.

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286483
    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    how come thereā€™s no manual for this stuff? Ā The reason I got into this situation is poor boundaries, low self esteem, and pretty much starving for attention. I think I was exactly his type. Ā Iā€™ve got to get better with all of this. Ā I feel Like I need a life bandaid. Ā Iā€™m going to start counseling I get free sessions through my work I Ā just have to wait about a month. Ā I donā€™t if the embarrassed will go away. Ā how can I not think about begging him to not stop talking to me? Telling him I wonā€™t text him anymore, telling him I have issues….. and he responds Iā€™ll pray for Ā you. After he said that I deleted everything from my phone and thought Iā€™m going to bed at least itā€™s over because I couldnā€™t Ā have ended it myself.

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286367
    lindsey
    Participant

    Thank you Anita I like talking with you

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286355
    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    No way not when I hit on him first and gave him my number. Ā Itā€™s not against our company policy but itā€™s frowned upon, basically not a good idea. Ā Karma always comes knocking. Ā Writing to you is slowly making me realize how wrong/bad he is on different levels. Ā To some extent I jumped back into another toxic/ controlling relationship.

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286323
    lindsey
    Participant

    Ammy

    thank you for your words of wisdom I will try to apply them. Good luck to you to!!

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286315
    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    (Mark) yes his name is Mark too ironic I know

    I think you saw me and my issues from a mile away and I was an easy target. Ā  My looks and my attention fed your ego. Ā I know you liked me in the beginning but my kids and my situation with my soon to be ex made you say this canā€™t go anywhere. Ā I donā€™t understand why you didnā€™t talk to me about it more or just end it then. Ā It continued and the more that time went on you got rude and my anxiety went crazy. Ā I had panic attacks in your bathroom and you never knew it. Ā I think you are selfish and canā€™t apologize for anything. Ā Your bragging got on my nerves. Ā Iā€™m ashamed of my behaviors during our last text conversation. Ā  I was begging you not to end it and I donā€™t know why. Ā We didnā€™t have much to begin with. Ā I have so much work to do on myself I donā€™t know where to start. Ā I donā€™t know whether to thank you or hate you for bringing it to my attention that I have ptsd from my abusive marriage. Ā I feel like everyone is going to leave me. Ā Iā€™m grateful when men are nice to me and thatā€™s pathetic. Ā You are a fucking team manager at work and you should have been there to help me not take advantage of me. Ā I just want you to know that your butt is saggy. You need to work on that in the gym since you like to brag about how much you lift. Apparently you missed that area.

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286119
    lindsey
    Participant

    I donā€™t either. This stuff is just really hard to get over. Ā I donā€™t think itā€™s a good to seek him out.

    in reply to: Need advice asap #286099
    lindsey
    Participant

    Mark

    Im having a hard time letting this go because I seem to want closure. Ā I wrote a letter And then tore it up and I still donā€™t feel any better. Ā I just want to tell him how he made me feel and ask him why he was such a jerk in our last conversation. Ā The funny thing is I might have a panic attack driving there or when he opens the door and I actually get in the house. Ā Help

    in reply to: Need advice asap #285979
    lindsey
    Participant

    I think you are absolutely right Mark thank you. Ā I was having a moment of desperation. Ā Letter is definitely the way to go

    in reply to: Please help me #285679
    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    thank you very much for your input. Itā€™s really beneficial because I feel so lost. Ā Iā€™m definitely bipolar Ā because Ā lots of the ssriā€™s Donā€™t do anything and others cause anxiety attacks. Ā However I agree and think my illness is on steroids right now with all my stress. Ā Iā€™m trying to work on me but itā€™s a lot of work lol

Viewing 15 posts - 646 through 660 (of 662 total)