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lindsey

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 381 total)
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  • #322133

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    Thank you.  I’m going to continue to track on my calendar my moods.  I’ve never really tracked it and I think that is overdue too.  I  hope you have a good weekend and I will talk to you soon.

    Lindsey

    #322123

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    I have been noting this week on my calendar that I was feeling a little down, not as great as I was feeling for the last 3-4 weeks.  Also, I told K last night that I was done and to leave me alone.  Long story short, there have been a few things that have happened in the last 2-3 weeks that have been leading to me saying this to him.   It’s interesting because I thought I would be more upset than I am; I’m not sad at all actually.  I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and I feel pretty proud of myself.  I think this things will become easier to do as I continue to heal and realize what is good/bad for me.

    Lindsey

    #321585

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    Agreed.  I will keep you posted.  Have a good Tuesday.

    Lindsey

    #321575

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    We have to go to the courthouse on Friday am to file.  We have to go in together and thought we could do most online.

    I think I am ready to make the next step with K and adjust to ignoring.  I know that is the best thing for me and I believe that it will be hard to do at first but in the end the best for me.  I just walked past him in the hall and he didn’t look at me but was on the phone.  I don’t know.  This is hard to navigate for me.

    Lindsey

    #321523

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    We are filing with the courthouse for the divorce in about an hour and I am a bit nervous.  I am going to start reaching out to a realtor in the next few weeks and get pre-approved for a loan.

    I am reading up on how to remove someone from your life that you feel is not healthy for you and well, it’s pretty hard stuff to do.  I am sick of getting my feelings hurt and having expectations.  I feel like my kindness is being taken advantage of.  Looking back I definitely should not have made cupcakes (mostly for him) last Wednesday and then he acted rude that day.  I have kept to my rules and he is not talking at all.  I am countinuing to true and focus on  me and my kids but it’s hard.  Especially when I think about him dating someone in the near future.  I have anxiety that he might date someone now.

    Lindsey

    #320861

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    Thank goodness I am allowed to break the rules once lol.  I feel  a little less like a fool.

    Sounds like Hunter the dog is a pretty cool guy.  Hope you enjoy your weekend & talk soon.

    Lindsey

    #320843

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    I hope you enjoyed your Halloween and stayed warm.  The kids and I had a lot of fun.  I coordinated my daughter’s 2nd grade party and we went indoor trick or treating because it was so cold out.

    I am disappointed in myself.  I broke a rule last night and messaged K asked if he was ok because he is having a bad week.  I am annoyed with myself and feel a bit ashamed.  The rules are in place for a reason.  I saw my counselor yesterday and sometimes afterwards I want to reach out to him.  I don’t know if it’s because we talk about him and I’m wanting to resolve things or what, I’m not sure.

    He did respond that he was fine just having a bad week.  This is a dumb mess that I keep circling and I’m sick of it.  At least I wasn’t OCD’ing about it yesterday.

    Lindsey

    #320425

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    No problem.  Enjoy your Halloween!

    Lindsey

    #320417

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    I’m making homemade red velvet cupcakes (the trick is cake flour instead of all purpose flour).  Also brownies with Reece cups in the middle, and monster cookies.  (basically a mixture of different cookies types).

    Lindsey

    #320405

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    Mostly I mean that now.  But before I got married I had a hard time with relationships.  Which I am sure is not hard to believe.  I was really insecure growing up until my mid-30’s.  While I am more secure now, I wouldn’t say I have healthy and high self-esteem.  I think I dated guys when I was bored or lonely versus when I had a connection because a connection was never there.  I also didn’t seek out guys but let them approach me.   I think I was and still put my mental health first (besides my children now) and that always seems to take up most of my time.

    Lindsey

    #320401

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    Hope this email finds you well.  My anxiety continues to lie…dormant let’s say.   Busy baking lots of desserts for food day tomorrow and work and I also drop off food at my vet’s office every major holiday.  He and his wife are some of my favorite people.  I have Thursday off to spend with the kids at school for Halloween parties and a parade.  Looking forward to a fun weekend with them.

    Continuing to enjoy time to myself more and more.  I am noticing lots of single women with children who seem very eager to start a serious relationship and get remarried.  I don’t think that is me and I’m not sure why.   I don’t think that was ever me.

    I continue to keep my rules and seem to be getting more and more comfortable with K as a friend without expectations when we casually talk.  Although in my head we do stuff all the time, maybe it’s better for that to stay in my head instead of in real life.

    Talk soon,

    Lindsey

    #319721

    lindsey
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you.  I don’t know how I made it this far without you.

    Lindsey

    #319695

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    That would be very nice.  I hope it’s possible.  I like how you used the staircase for my children, good point.

    Lindsey

    #319685

    lindsey
    Participant

    Anita,

    Maybe it’s a boundary? I’m not sure.  Keeping rules 1-5.   I just do not want to be setting myself up for failure with this.  Last night he stated he drinks almost everyday and smokes pot.  Not surprised, just disappointed in general.  I wish people knew how bad drinking was for their mental health.

    I see a staircase in front of me I do not want to climb.  The stairs are not stable; there are holes, hidden traps, and disappointment.

    I am hoping I will learn to let go of my feelings for him altogether.  I am hoping to move on and treat him as a acquaintance.

    Lindsey

    #319565

    lindsey
    Participant

    Yes, 1-5 rules are good and apply.  I guess this # 6 is a boundary?  Lindsey asked K to return text or answer a question instead of ignoring when he doesn’t want to answer question or whatever reason.  Here’s the thing-if he brakes the rule what do I do?

    I told him he is basically a master bullshi**er.  He agreed and laughed.  He can make almost every situation not a big deal with how he words things.

    Lindsey

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 381 total)