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Dealing with Rejection: It Doesn’t Mean That You’re Not Good Enough

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“The best way out is always through” ~Robert Frost

I was trembling as I hung up the phone. He’d dumped me.

It was as if, while I was watching a murder mystery at the edge of my seat, the electricity had gone out. Poof! I wasn’t going to get to see the end of the movie, and I had no control over when the lights would come back on.

I felt the fangs of rejection sink into my heart like a merciless tarantula. My mind, which is normally going 500 miles an hour, came to a halt. Suddenly I felt …

Does Your Partner Often Get Angry and Shut Down Emotionally?

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“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” ~Carl Jung

Three years ago I was on top of the world after realizing I had fallen in love with my best friend. Relationships this rare are beautiful, until one vital piece of them breaks down: clear communication.

Although I didn’t know it at the time, when my ex and I came together as a couple, rather than being in love, we were both just mirroring each other’s deep unconscious pain; his mother had walked out on him at a young age, and …

Coping with Suicide Loss: 9 Lessons for Hope and Healing

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“It takes courage to endure the sharp pains of self-discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” ~Marianne Williamson

“That boy is one in a million, Jill. He’s one in a million.”

These were my grandfather’s words to my mum about my brother, Mitch, when he was just a kid. He really was one in a million—a light that shone so bright as a child and early teen, only to then fade into shadows of desperation and defeat as he grew into adulthood.

No one really knows what’s going …

What Really Makes Us Happy, and Why

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“Whatever you do, make sure it makes you happy.” ~Unknown

Like many of us, I live paycheck to paycheck. Which is okay. We aren’t alone. CNN reported nearly 76% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck.

I want to give a quick shout out to all the hardworking folks out there who budget every week to see how much they can spend on groceries. We got this.

So back to that 76% number, for the sake of simple math that means that three out of every four people are living paycheck to paycheck, which sounds about right in my …

How to Live a Good Life, by Jonathan Fields: Interview and Giveaway

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UPDATE – The winners for this giveaway are:

  • Joshira Maduro
  • Gerardo Corripio F
  • sian e lewis

What do you think it means to “live a good life”? Though we all have different answers based on our unique values and preferences, it’s likely yours involves peace of mind, love, fulfillment, and perhaps making a positive difference in the world.

Author and entrepreneur Jonathan Fields has a similar definition—encompassing vitality, connection, and contribution—and he’s explored it in his new book How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science and Practical Wisdom.

I’m a huge Jonathan Fields fan because he’s genuine, …

You Have to Know You’re Worthy to Attract a Healthy Relationship

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“Your problem is you’re too busy holding onto your unworthiness.” ~Ram Dass

Three years ago I went through a breakup with someone I loved deeply.

I had no idea what had happened to me after I fell in love with this girl. I now know that I was asleep from the beginning to the very end of the relationship.

I was totally encapsulated with this girl to the point where I could not see what was in front of me. I was unable to see the red flags that were there in the beginning.

When I first laid eyes on …

How to Deal with Painful Emotional Triggers in Your Relationships

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“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” ~Unknown

I’ve been looking for a new job, so I recently decided to update my resume.

“Hun, can you please help me with that?”

“Of course, my love.”

“Thanks, babe.”

Not only did my wife help me revamp my resume, she drafted me a killer cover letter as well.

“You’re the best, babe!”

“Happy to help, sweetie.”

I opened the cover letter the other day and found a discrepancy, something that immediately touched my deepest core wound.

There, at the bottom of the page, where my name, …

I Choose Me (and Why You Should Choose Yourself)

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“One should always be on the trail of one’s own deepest nature.” ~Henry David Thoreau

I am watching my beautiful eighteen-year-old daughter begin to navigate life as a young adult. Dating, friends, work, school, future plans: the perennial Big Five in terms of potential landmines.

I am projecting like mad, reliving my own traumas, and hoping she will be more successful, more lucky, more savvy by a long shot than I ever was.

And mostly, I find myself on the sidelines silently urging her (okay, not always silently) to choose herself. 

Choose herself when the friend who only wants …

Trying to Change Your Life? 6 Reminders to Help You Keep Going

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“You can’t change what’s going on around you until you start changing what’s going on within you.” ~Zig Ziglar

When you’re studying for eighteen years to have a chance at a better future, you’re not expecting to end up wearing yellow gloves and washing dishes, right? But what if I tell you that it made me happier than a job sitting behind a desk at a renowned institution?

You might be thinking now, “If this post is about how to change from a job behind a desk to one behind a sink, I better not waste my time reading it.” …

Healing the Inner Child: Free Yourself from Subconscious Pain

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“The child is in me still and sometimes not so still.” ~Mr. Rogers

We’ve all been there. Either we’ve said “Stop acting like a child!” to someone who we felt was acting immature, or someone said it to us in a moment that we’re not too proud about. Many couples would sum up their frustration with their partner by saying that, at times, they act like a child.

For many of us, we continue to feel frustration and disdain for the part of us that seems to repeat in failure, pain, or foolish behavior. Whether it’s unhealthy relationships, acting …

When Fear and Panic Win: How to Deal with Anxiety

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“Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once. Breathe. You’re strong. You got this. Take it day by day.” ~Karen Salmansohn

As much as I believe that you can move through fear to do whatever it is that you want to do, sometimes fear wins.

Sometimes, try as you might, you can’t push yourself forward. You retreat, worn, battle scarred, banged up, and with your tail between your legs.

You wave your white flag. You surrender.

Fear wins.

But it is in this moment of loss that you can learn some very important things.…

4 Simple Sentences That Can Prevent Arguments and Resentment

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“There are two sides to every argument, until you take one.” ~Unknown

The phone rang. My partner and our daughter were away hiking and camping. I’d wanted to go with them, but my partner had discouraged me.

My partner had a last-minute change of heart, but I’d remained firm. They hadn’t welcomed me, I said, so they could do without me.

Now, after a day of hiking, our daughter phoned me. They wanted me to join them for dinner and then join them for the second day of the hike.

How do you deal with feelings of disappointment, frustration, or …

Gratitude: The Antidote for Painful Feelings and Fuel for Happiness

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“The struggle ends when the gratitude begins.” ~Neale Donald Walsch

The longer I travel on my journey, the more I realize that gratitude is the universal antidote to painful feelings. In fact, it’s the quickest route I know to happiness, which makes it a good idea to be grateful all day long.

However, when we are in a low mood or something knocks us off course, it can be easy to forget just how many amazing things there are in our lives to be grateful for, even just in one single day. It’s as if a setback erases our …

Book Giveaway: Drawn Together (A Dharma Comics Collection)

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The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are:

  • Kristine Charbonneau
  • Jessica Raymond
  • Darren

Every now and then something pops up in my Facebook feed that simultaneously makes me smile, pulls me out of my head, and pushes me to be the best version of myself. Many times when that happens, it’s a comic from Leah Pearlman.

I first met Leah in 2010, shortly after she began creating these simple yet enlightening drawings. In person, she exudes warmth, love, and wisdom, and her comics are a reflection of her sunny personality and outlook.

Since I’m a huge fan of …

13 Things to Do Instead of Comparing Yourself to Others

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“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” ~Shannon L. Alder

You know it already.

You know you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. Yet, that’s often easier said than done.

Job title, income, grades, house, and Facebook likes—the number of categories in which we can compare ourselves to others are infinite. So is the number of people we can compare ourselves to.

Comparison is generally the fast track to unhappiness. It’s a recipe for misery. All it does is keeping you focused on what you don’t like about yourself and your life.

Ever …

5 Reasons to Forgive Yourself and How to Do Better Going Forward

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“At the end of life, the wish to be forgiven is ultimately the chief desire of almost every human being. In refusing to wait; in extending forgiveness to others now; we begin the long journey of becoming the person who will be large enough, able enough and generous enough to receive, at the very end, that absolution ourselves.” ~David Whyte

The last time I saw my mother she was smiling and laughing at nothing in particular. My mother has had dementia for almost ten years now. Each visit brings an onslaught of guilt and uncomfortable feelings. Could I have …

Dealing with Postnatal Depression: It’s Okay to Ask for Help

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“The light at the end of the tunnel might seem a long way off. But the switch may be very near.” ~ Anonymous

When I think about it now, the ominous signs of postnatal depression were there even while I was pregnant.

What started with worries and anxieties would continue to escalate after the birth of my child, finally coming together like a perfect storm, to become a deep, dark depression that would threaten to take my life away from me.

Eighteen months after my daughter was born, now barely able to function, I found myself alone in the …

3 Things That Cause Unhealthy Food Cravings and How to Stop Them

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“Reminder: food is fuel, not therapy.” ~Unknown

I learned about food cravings at a young age.

My parents divorced when I was six years old. My older brother and I ended up living in another city with our grandmother. We used to spend long hours alone, and we learned soon enough how food could help us lift our mood and suppress our real feelings.

That was when I started having unstoppable food cravings.

Eating would make me feel good and bring me peace and calm. Trying to avoid my favorite foods would make me nervous and unsettled, and would …

6 Lessons to Remember When Someone Judges or Criticizes You

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“Every judgment, all of them, point back to a judgment we hold against ourselves.” ~Lynne Forrest

I sat across from my good friend Anna over a cup of coffee. We had been having issues in our friendship and had finally gotten together to discuss them. I’m not a fan of conflict and call myself a “recovering people pleaser,” so I was very nervous.

I noticed immediately that the conversation didn’t seem to be going very well. I addressed my issues concerning our friendship and tried hard to own my part. But Anna kept saying things like, “There are …

9 Mindful Social Media Practices That Will Make You a Happier Person

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“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick

Social media is not a full (or even sometimes real) portrayal of someone’s life. If you forget this, you fall into the trap of comparing your life to what someone else chooses to share.

This is dangerous.

Comparing can lead to feelings of inadequacy, envy, and even hatred toward others. These kinds of feelings, if left un-dealt with, can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. Or, if you are a person who already struggles with anxiety or depression, having these kinds …