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10 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion and Overcome Your Shame

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“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.” ~Kristin Neff

I consider myself to be a very compassionate person, but I’ve struggled a great deal with self-compassion. Though I’ve now been sober for over six years, back when I was drinking I made a lot of mistakes, and it’s taken …

What to Do After a Breakup to End Painful Relationship Patterns

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“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” ~Unknown

After my kids grew up and I moved to the city from the suburbs, I became somewhat of a professional dater. I was determined to make up for lost time after over a decade as a single mom, and I was optimistic about my future.

My hopes were dashed almost immediately. Relationship after relationship crashed and burned, rarely lasting more than a few weeks. As soon as they’d walk out the door, sometimes within minutes, I’d fire up whatever dating website I was on at …

Why “Be Positive” Isn’t the Best Advice When You’re Down

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“Learn the alchemy true human beings know. The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given, the door will open.” ~Rumi

As much as I tried to apply personal development ideas in my life, I failed big time.

All the affirmations in the world couldn’t make me love myself.

The more I tried to “be present,” the more all-over-the-place my mind became, getting lost in overthinking.

Mindfulness didn’t work for me either. Observing my thoughts got me to chase each and every thought and analyze it. When I tried “letting go,” I just held on tighter.

This was …

The One Question You Need to Ask Yourself When Deciding What to Do

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“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~Mary Oliver

I’ve recently discovered that for fifty-odd years I’ve been asking myself the wrong questions. Uh-oh.

Maybe you are too.

The questions we ask ourselves habitually—even when the process is totally unconscious—guide our lives in a very profound way. For me, the two questions that dominated my thinking had very different, but equally pernicious results. They are: What am I supposed to be doing? And What do I feel like doing?

The first question is all about hitting the numbers. What looks good …

How to Release Shame and Stop Feeling Fundamentally Flawed

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“But shame is like a wound that is never exposed and therefore never heals.” ~Andreas Eschbach

Shame. Everybody has it. Nobody wants to talk about it. The less we talk about it, the more power it has over us.

Shame goes to the core of a person and makes them feel there is something inherently wrong with them.

I remember when I was a young girl, I struggled so much with feeling I was ‘less than’ others.

There were many nights when I would say prayers to help change me. I didn’t like my freckles. I was …

The Power of Off: Staying Sane in a Virtual World (Interview & Book Giveaway)

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UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are: Akshay Bhat and Kaitlyn.

Have you ever found yourself mindlessly surfing the web, hopping from one site to another, when you didn’t have any specific reason to be online?

Maybe you were looking at a cute cat video on Facebook, and then you ended up taking a quiz to determine which Westworld character you are. And then, five listicles, four memes, three tweets, two comments, and one hour later, you realized you’d spent a whole lot of time doing a whole lot of nothing.

Worse, you may have been …

How to Stop Doubting Yourself So You Can Go After Your Dreams

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“The gap between what we do and what we’re capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems.” ~Gandhi

I have lived most of my life with a challenging contradiction.

I am a hopeless idealist and dreamer. And I have also dealt with high levels of anxiety, worry, and doubt, especially as an adult.

You can probably already see how this can go horribly wrong!

I’d have an idea of something I’d like to do.

An idea that would excite and thrill me. I would feel energized—enthusiastic and excited about the possibility of making a dream …

How a Hobby Can Boost Your Motivation and Change Your Life

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“If you want to be happy, be.” ~Leo Tolstoy

We’ve all hit a low motivational point in our lives at one time or another. I am completely aware of that feeling of having nothing to fight for. In those reoccurring periods of despondency, I couldn’t find a reason to get myself out of bed.

It’s funny that I got the life-changing question at a job interview. It was a stressful situation, and the hiring manager made it even more overwhelming when he looked at me straight in the eyes and asked: “What motivates you in life?”

I can’t remember …

4 Tips for Raising Happy, Emotionally Healthy Children

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“Emotional intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages.” ~Daniel Goleman

I consider myself an expert on the emotional needs of children. Mostly because I was one.

No one goes into parenthood anticipating the ways they will psychologically damage their children. At least I don’t think they do. I hope not. It’s far more likely that most go into parenthood wanting the best for their children, hoping to do more for them than their own parents were able to do.

So, why is …

Anxiety, Your New BFF: How It Can Help You If You Let It

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“Be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.” ~Rumi

Anxiety—a frequent, uninvited visitor.

It hovers; it comes and goes. It underlines. It overpowers. It stops you in your tracks. It pursues you as you run away.

My anxiety’s appearance is often marked by a buzzing, electric-charge energy. I used to jokingly compare it to a predatory yellow jacket. They used to terrify me. Since I was stung too many times, this insect was definitely not on my list of BFFs.

Once I was driving my then seven-year-old daughter and her friend to …

Beautiful Things Can Happen When We Step Outside Our Comfort Zone

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“As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal.” ~Robin S. Sharma

I recently arrived in my new home city of New Orleans. I came here for a change and to refresh my spirits, and I’m so glad I did. It’s truly an uplifting and unique city. Coming here certainly shifted me out of my comfort zone, as I’m originally from California.

However, what I know from past experience is that breaking free of what’s comfortable is an ongoing, step-by-step journey. Simply put, it’s not enough that I’m here. I …

Recreate Your Life Story eCourse – 33% Off Until Monday

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UPDATE: This promotion ran in 2016 and is now over.

When I first envisioned Recreate Your Life Story—an eCourse that blends self-help and film—I knew I wanted to create a program that would be both creative and life changing.

I’ve always had a passion for movies, so I was excited to design a course that uses protagonists from the silver screen as inspiration for change.

But the course isn’t just about changing your circumstances. The full title is Recreate Your Life Story: Change the Script and Be the Hero. And that’s a big part of the program—it helps …

12 Powerful Gratitude Practices That Will Make You a Lot Happier

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“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” ~A. A. Milne

Gratitude didn’t always come naturally to me. If there had been a championship for complaining, for a long time, I would have been a serious contender.

For years I felt entitled to everything, including the kindness of others. This didn’t make me very happy, since it was always easy to find something or someone to complain about. The more critical I grew, the less appealing life seemed and the worse I got on with others.

The …

Why I Forgave My Cruel, Abusive Father

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“It’s not an easy journey, to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it sets you free.” ~Tyler Perry

I still remember the day when I told my mother that I no longer wanted to be at home. I’d had enough of so much pain and sorrow, and the constant yelling. Soon after, I watched my mother cry bitterly as she made the decision to get a divorce.

I was ten years old at the time.

My father had always been a very strict man, who used to believe that …

When Family Members Push Our Buttons: How This Helps Us Grow

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“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” ~Pema Chodron

You love them most of the time. You can’t stand them some of the time. But in the end, family is family.

I’ve never liked to admit it, but I am just like my dad. Close in birthday, same number 5 life path in numerology, both risk takers, very passionate and adventurous, fun-loving, and witty, and we lead by example. That’s positively speaking.

However, it becomes a negative pattern to focus on the other side of the coin. We …

Do What Excites You: How to Push Through Fear & Make Bold Choices

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“You’ve got to do things that feel unnatural if you want to grow.” ~Jon Morrow

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” my boss said.

“Yes,” I nodded.

“What do I have to pay you to make you stay?” he asked.

I just stared at him. No words would come.

“There’s nothing I can do, is there?” he said.

More silence. But my inner voice was anything but silent. I was consumed with doubt and deafened by the bloody battle raging inside my head.

On one side was caution, armed with the strong, fight-to-the-death breed of soldier. Her battalion was fuelled by countless …

To Fully Heal Your Broken Heart, Make Sure You Do This

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“Grief is healthy and it is healing.” ~Richard Moss

When I was a little girl there was this belief floating around in my head that there was only one person. One person who was my soulmate. One person who could love me. I think the belief was formed by some concoction of Disney movies, religion, and American culture.

What’s worse than this belief is that I somehow found myself afraid that I wouldn’t even have one person. I was afraid I would be alone. Forever.

I don’t know when I adopted the belief that I wasn’t enough, that I …

4 Things I’d Say to My Anxiety-Filled Younger Self

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“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

As I sit here writing this, I’m just a couple of days away from my twenty-eighth birthday.

It’s been a whole decade since an introverted, shy version of me turned eighteen years old and entered into the realms of what many people consider to be “adult age.”

Back then, anxiety, specifically social anxiety, plagued me.

At the time, however, I’d never even heard of anxiety, let alone considered that I may be suffering with this thing that could be …

How to Improve Your Work/Life Balance and Reclaim Your Time

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“You will never feel truly satisfied by work until you are satisfied by life.” ~Heather Schuck

When I was two years old, my parents got divorced.

In other words, I’ve never seen my biological parents spending loving time with each other. I never had the chance to experience the small things most children take for granted.

For example


  • I don’t remember my mom and dad ever sharing a loving kiss after a long day at work
  • I don’t remember ever having both parents around to tuck me in at night
  • And I never overheard simple “how was your day?”
…

What to Do When Your Partner Won’t Work on Your Relationship

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“It takes two to manage the relationship, but it takes one to begin the change.” ~Sheri E. Ragland

So, your significant other doesn’t understand you. In fact you’re not even sure if they hear you. Despite trying to talk about things or take a break from each other, you end up arguing about the same thing over and over again.

You try this and you try that. You back away, you move in. You break up, you get back together. You try everything you can think of, and nothing is working, but you don’t want to end the relationship.…