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Living in the Now When It’s Stressful: 4 Mindfulness Tips

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“If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” ~Unknown

A few weeks ago, I learned that my beloved dog, Bella, had become ill with kidney disease—a condition that will most likely not allow her to live longer than a year. I was devastated when I heard this news.

At only eight years old, Bella didn’t seem old enough to be so sick, let alone be a year (or less) away from dying. Coping with her condition and the impending loss has been incredibly difficult—nearly impossible at times—but amid all of …

When Friends Fear We May Judge Them

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“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” ~Wayne Dwyer

One of the times I felt my lowest was when I found out a best friend didn’t tell me something important that had happened in her life. I felt about an inch tall when she said she feared I would judge her if she told me, and that’s why she kept it a secret.

At that point, I broke down. Do all my friends feel this way? Why? I’ve always felt very protective of them and tried my best to be a great friend.

I’m an …

3 Keys to Staying Present under Pressure

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“The only pressure I’m under is the pressure I’ve put on myself.” ~Mark Messier   

Back when Earth was cooling, I was a broker at Shearson Lehman Brothers. I still have nightmares about the pressure there—the pressure to sell stocks and bonds, to succeed, to be the best in the office, and to forget what is really important in life.

Now I write books and lead workshops. I live on thirty-three acres with a couple hundred blueberry plants, foxes, incredible people, sunrises, sunsets, and cold dips in a mountain pond all in the foothills of the Smokey Mountains.

While it …

Speaking Up When You’re Bullied, in School and Beyond

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“Sometimes the biggest act of courage is a small one.” ~Lauren Raffo

During the summer of 2001, I experienced three months of torment.

My days were filled with verbal lashings, public humiliation, and pushing my body to its physical limits. I was being broken down. I chose to accept this as my normal. I accepted my punishment like I thought I should. I was seventeen.

Nothing made my anxiety fly away and quieted the constant chatter in my brain like dance. I may not have been the best, or most technically proficient dancer (my fouettes would never land …

Knowing How Far You’ve Come: 8 Tips to Celebrate Your Growth

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“Always concentrate on how far you’ve come, rather than how far you have left to go.” ~Unknown

It is laughably easy to forget to stop and take stock of how far we have come in our lives. Our world focuses so much on what we lack—be it money, beauty, prestige, or romantic success—that it is far too common for us to get trapped in the loop of needing to have, be, or do “more” before thinking that we might be good enough. I, for one, do it all the time.

A year and a half ago I was unemployed …

Giveaway and Author Interview: Choosing Me Before We

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Note: This winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

We all have it: a voice inside our heads that tells us what we can and cannot do and undermines our self-esteem. Sometimes it’s cruel. Sometimes it’s condescending. Most of the time, it’s completely inaccurate.

If we’re not mindful, it can limit our ability to live peaceful, purposeful lives, guided by our interests and passions. We need to love ourselves to love our lives, and in order to love …

5 Ways to Let Go of Limited Thinking and Create a Limitless Life

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“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ~Albert Einstein

As so often happens when I go on vacation, valuable insights come in unexpected ways. It happened again during a recent fly-fishing trip (through Fly Fishing for the Mind) with my adult son, Brandon, to the Sian Ka’an Biosphere, a government protected nature and wildlife reserve at the eastern tip of Mexico.

I got in touch with a major difference in Brandon’s and my thought patterns. Brandon thinks expansively about life’s possibilities—particularly those involving fun and …

Eliminate Proxies for a More Authentic, Present Life

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On the web, there is something called a proxy server. It often sits in between a request (for example, let me watch YouTube!) and what is requested (in this case, the YouTube video file) and “passes” the request, and the result, back and forth between two computers.

In the early days of the Internet, it was created as a way to make easier and more efficient the incredible complexity of so much information and so many people wanting to access it. There are other benefits, too—security, speed, protecting identities and information. But, it’s still an intermediary between Thing A and …

Embracing Uncertainty: The Future is Open, Not Empty

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“As for the future, your task is not to foresee it but to enable it.” ~Antoine de Saint-ExupĂ©ry

A month ago, I was at a crossroads. I was unhappy with my job, I no longer wanted to be living at home, I was tired of being three states away from my boyfriend, and I was sick of feeling unfulfilled.

I knew change was coming, but what I did not know was that I was to be the catalyst.

I had moved back in with my parents after college, as I started the daunting task of job searching. I worked retail …

A Beautiful Thing Is Never Perfect

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“A beautiful thing is never perfect.” ~Proverb

There are so many reasons to think that we, as humanity, have far to go to reach a certain stage of happiness. Yet with every step we take toward a “golden future,” we seem to take two steps backward.

Our demand for technological advancement causes great stress upon the Earth: Medical achievements aim to eliminate ailments, but serve as crutches for our poor health choices; and we push ourselves to reach great heights of “success,” which then fuels our self-rejection because we think we aren’t good enough.

In this sense, our progress …

9 Powerful Life Lessons from Studying with a Monk

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“Doing your best means never stop trying.” ~Unknown

When I was 18 years old, I suffered from anxiety and stomach problems. A compassionate physician and practicing Buddhist referred me to a Taoist monk who specialized in meditation and martial arts. I ended up healing myself of anxiety and stomach issues by doing meditation, and went on a great journey of self-discovery.

Here are 9 lessons I learned while studying with a monk:

1. Keep trying until you get it right.

The most important life lesson I learned was trying something three times (maybe even four times) before you stop …

Giveaway and Interview: Saying Yes to Change

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Editor’s Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

Have you ever formed a friendship with someone whose beliefs differ from yours only to realize you have quite a bit in common?

This is exactly the type of friendship I’ve formed with Alex Blackwell. We’ve had many of the same experiences, and formed many of the same insights, but we’ve found peace and comfort in different understandings of spirituality.

Alex runs The Bridge Maker, where he …

How to Release Shame and Love All of You

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“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ~African Proverb

If you’ve had any experiences where you had to keep your truth quiet, particularly as a child, it’s time to reclaim your truth and value its power. By doing so, you will release energy, old shame, and subconscious blocks that may now be holding you back from living your life to the fullest.

It could be that you had lots of family secrets that your parents made sure you told no one about (which creates shame), or it could be you were bullied and felt unable …

The Freedom of Not Needing To Be Right

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“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Yesterday I drove my mother and father to the VA hospital in Albuquerque for a doctor’s appointment. I had never been to a VA hospital before. I guess I should have expected the numbers of crutches and canes, armless and legless veterans, young and weathered faces alike.

I was personally witnessing the costs endured when humans war against each other.

“Isn’t it odd,” I said to my mother, “that human beings war with each …

Discovering Peace from Within and Creating Fulfillment in Life

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“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Gandhi

The feeling of inner-strength and fulfillment can be enough for us to move mountains. For the most part, we all have the desire to do and be great. It’s just a matter of finding the right pieces to put together to make it happen.

Part of that discovery process is being able to overcome the low states of energy that hold us back from finding our inner happiness and confidence. When we feel refreshed, vibrant, and able to make the …

20 Ways to Give Without Expectations

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“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” ~Samuel Johnson

Some people say there’s no such thing as a selfless act—that any time we do something to help another person, we get something in return, even if it’s just a warm fuzzy feeling.

I’ve spent a lot of time playing with this idea in my head. It doesn’t really bother me to know it feels good to help someone else. That, to me, is a completely acceptable type of selfishness. What give me cause for concern are the underlying expectations …

Who Owns Your Time?

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“What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown

When you take cash out of your wallet to give to someone, you surely expect something of equal or greater value in return. Do you treat your time the same way?

At one of my first jobs, I found myself spending a massive amount of time on tasks that didn’t really add value to me or my purpose.

“Ah well, at least I got something done today,” I would often mutter to rationalize wasting time on just busy work. Or even better: …

Knowing Which Advice is Right

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“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” ~Buddha

The old clichĂ©, “I say tomayto, you say tomahto,” has been popping up in my head recently, mainly because of a lesson I recently learned after years of trial and error.

For the last several years, I have been closely listening to and reading the advice of “experts” on subjects related to life, love, business, and the pursuit of happiness. I have come to an astonishing (for me, anyway) conclusion: …

A Quick Note

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Hello friends. I’m writing this quick post from my family’s house in Massachusetts after flying home on the red-eye on Saturday night. My grandmother, who was a hero to many, including me, passed away on Monday morning. Despite being a writer, and being asked to write a eulogy, I find myself somewhat at a loss for words.

For this reason, I may not write anything this week, though I will surely be writing about grandmother soon. I will aim to publish two posts from the community each day, but I may miss a day or two.

If you submitted a …

Are You Running Away from Yourself?

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“No matter where you go, there you are.” ~Confucius

I am accustomed to not moving. To move was to feel pain—the pain of seeing how worthless I believed myself to be. Sometimes I would sit in the same place for hours, sometimes not leaving the house for days.

By isolating myself, I avoided finding evidence in the outside world that proved how I saw myself was the absolute truth.

My worst nightmare was that others would show me (through what they said or didn’t say, or what they did or didn’t do) that they too found me as rotten as …