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How to Tackle Resistance to Make Meaningful Life Changes

ā€œKites rise highest against the wind, not with it.ā€ ~Winston Churchill

A little over two years ago, I wrote these hopeless words in my journal:

“All around me, I’m noticing people perpetuate patterns they claim to hate or end up in situations they’ve always dreaded. And I can’t seem to break free. When I take steps to make a new life or forge a new path, barriers pop up left and right. I don’t know what to do differently.”

At the time, it felt as if my repeated attempts at changing the trajectory of my life toward joy and expansion …

Are You Waiting for Your Life to Start?

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” ~Denis Waitley

Even though I am just 20, Iā€™ve always been one of those people who is constantly waiting for my life to start. ā€œWhen Iā€™m older Iā€™ll do thisā€ and ā€œIn a few years Iā€™ll do that.ā€

My Dad took his own life when I was very young. Due to my age and the fact my family struggled so much with the loss, I grew up thinking he died of natural causes and learned the truth by accident when I …

5 Ways to Find Happiness in Nature

ā€œTurn your face toward the sun and the shadows will fall behind you.ā€ ~Māori Proverb

Imagine a graph showing the number of hours the average person spends out of doors today compared with 50 years ago. Imagine another graph showing how many people suffer from depression, stress, and anxiety compared to 50 years ago.

Iā€™m confident that there would be a direct correlation between the two graphs; as one has declined the other has risen.

As weā€™ve turned our backs on nature weā€™ve lost our natural source of happiness. By turning our faces back toward the sun we find lasting

Living Fully Book Giveaway and Interview with Shyalpa Tenzin Rinpoche

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

Have you ever felt like the present moment is passing you by while youā€™re caught up worrying, analyzing, planning, and trying to protect yourself from pain and loss?

Itā€™s one the pitfalls of the human condition: we often paralyze ourselves in the pursuit of happiness and abundance, and in the process, miss out on the joy right in front of us.

Shyalpa Tenzin Rinpoche has devoted his life to …

Letting Go of Your Past to Create a New Future

“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” -Eckhart Tolle

I grew up in what looked like a happy, all-American householdā€”eight children, a dutiful housewife for a mother, and a father who was both a janitor at my school and a member of the Knights of Columbus and American Legion.

However, in the background, terror lurked. My father, verbally and physically abusive, terrorized us every day. Even after growing up, taking back my life and moving across the country, I still wore my victim story like a badge.

The subtext …

How to Overcome Loneliness

“Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it’s dark.” ~Zen Proverb

After my ex-girlfriend and I broke up several years ago, I never felt more alone in my life. I hung up the phone with tears streaming down my face as I stepped into my new reality.

I only had one friend in the world, who happened to live fairly far away, so most of my newfound singlehood was spent alone.

It was difficult for the first few weeks due to all the painful emotions that usually come with a breakup, but after a while the pain went …

Finding a Brave Heart and Overcoming Self-Made Limitations

ā€œIt is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.ā€ ~Eckhart Tolle

It was on the anniversary of Scottish poet Robert Burns’ birthday, or ā€œBurns Nightā€ as it is affectionately known as in Scotland, that my sister rescued a terrified stray dog who came to be named BraveHeart (or Brava for short).

We thought the name was apt as Braveheart is also a film starring Mel Gibson as William Wallace, who was a famous warrior during the Wars of Scottish Independence.

Brava is a big, long-legged black dog, with the limbs of a greyhound and …

Create Happiness through Honesty, Acceptance and Persistence

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” -Dalai Lama

Iā€™ve spent most of my life engaged in ā€œif onlyā€ scenarios. Iā€™ve spent hours predicting my ideal future or rehashing the past, imagining what life would be like now if only I had done X, Y, and Z when I was 15.

When not lost in imaginations of my own making I would be cursing myself, telling myself that I should have achieved certain things by now.

Of course this only led to misery and dejection. By focusing on what I didnā€™t have, or what …

5 Tips to Achieve Your Goals Despite the Odds

“Excellence can be obtained if you care more than others think is wise, risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical, expect more than others think is possible.” ~Unknown

After several excruciatingly painful and profoundly frightening years of undiagnosed symptoms, I was diagnosed with a ā€œprogressive and incurableā€ neurological disease, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy/Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (RSD/CRPS). It’s characterized by unrelenting pain that is disproportionate to the inciting event, usually an injury or trauma.

As luck would have it I was diagnosed and, shortly after, hospitalized for the first of three times, just as …

Your Most Important To-Do List

ā€œWhat you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.ā€ ~Pericles

Every day we are swamped by tasks. Catch up on work. Buy groceries. Reply to those emails. Do the housework. Hand in that project. Pick up the dry-cleaning. Make that appointment. Go to the gym.

The constant connection to social media, as amazing and valuable as it can be, adds even more tiny tasks to our never-ending to-do-lists. Upload. Download. Tweet. Reply. Blog. Comment. Follow. Pin. Update. Check-in. Watch. Like. Read. Send.

My to-doā€™s are pinned up …

How to Come Home to Yourself

“Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it’s dark.” ~Zen Proverb

There was once a man who loved to complain and find fault with everyone and everything. Nothing pleased him, so he moved from one town to another, declaring as he left each place:

ā€œI am going to another town, where the people are friendlier.ā€

A wise man perceived what the problem was, and as the angry man began striding along the dusty road to yet another destination, the wise man compassionately called out:

ā€œOh brother, moving from place to place does not serve you well. Wherever you …

The Fortune in Fear

“He is able who thinks he is able.” ~Buddha

I remember hearing this idea somewhere that courage was not the absence of fear, but rather, the ability to do something in the presence of it.

I am scared of being on a boat. I always was. When I was 18, I dated a guy who had a boat, and I decided to brave my fear and get on it for a three day voyage across the Mediterranean. I know, I could have started by peddling in a canoe in a pond, but noā€”three days, no sight of land.

There was …

Dealing with Uncertainty: 5 Tips to Create Trust and Patience

ā€œIf you’re going to doubt something, doubt your own limits.ā€ ~Don Ward

So far Iā€™ve gone from Sydney to Melbourne, Melbourne to Moruya, Moruya to Sydney, and Sydney to Brisbane, and my Australian adventure continues.

Iā€™m now about to depart from Brisbane and settle in on the Gold Coast in Queensland for the next few months while I get my yoga teacher certification and continue to explore this beautiful country.

Itā€™s been five months, ten days, and four hours since I landed at the Sydney International airport from Los Angeles. When I first left, I had no real expectations other …

Getting Out of a Rut and Working on a Passion

“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.” – Charles R. Swindoll

For twenty-something me, a college drop-out utterly overwhelmed with choice and bewildered by unemployment, it can easily feel like a void of nothingness, so black and dense there is little point in considering a future beyond it.

I see friends studying Economics, English, and Engineering. Theyā€™ve joined their circus, and I havenā€™t even started yet. I’m behind, I’ll never catch-up; I’ll be the kid that got held up.

College has structure, solidity, a process, respect, certification, and a certain standing. …

Control Less, Trust More: How I Learned to Relax and Let Go

ā€œThe closest to being in control weā€™ll ever be is in that moment when we realize weā€™re not.ā€ ~Brian Kessler

My nine-year-old son said something so profoundly right that it kept me awake. He said that in order for him to be happier I would need to let go of controlling him all the time.

Now granted he is young, and believe me, if I didn’t tell him to get dressed heā€™d run outside in PJs, but I was struck by his wisdom because this is also my obstacle to becoming happier.

In the past, the more I felt out

Refill Your Glass: A Simple Way to Make the Most of Yourself

“Make the most of yourself, because thatā€™s all there is of you.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Twelve years ago, my husband and I were preparing to adopt our son. As part of the process we were required to take parenting classes.

One of the classes was about taking care of ourselves so that we could take care of others. Given the difficult journey that parenting can be, the instructor encouraged us to ā€œrefill our glass.ā€

Honestly, I couldnā€™t relate to what he meant. I was young and excited about having a family. Silently I dismissed his suggestion that parenting or anything …

Feeling Love Outside of a Relationship

“There is no Love greater than Love with no object. For then you, yourself, have become love, itself.” ~Rumi

I have spent most of my life as a professional, half of that in Asia: managing a division of a company, doing long-term meditation retreats, and establishing cottage industries for impoverished refugees.

A long-term relationship was impossible since Asian men marry Asian women; European men had European wives and Asian lovers.

Along the way I thought I could give more value to the world by remaining single than being married with children.

I met a woman working at the UN who …

Forgive Yourself and Change Your Choices

For almost four years I held onto a feeling that I had somehow done something wrongā€”that I hadnā€™t tried hard enough, that I had somehow failed my daughter.

In May 2008 my daughterā€™s father had arrived home after staying out all night. He told me he no longer loved me, found me attractive, or even fancied me, and that at eight years younger than him I was ā€œtoo old.ā€

I was completely stunned.

While our relationship had many of the usual flaws, we had never fought, and Iā€™d believed him one month prior, after we bought a new home together, …

Join the Tiny Buddha Twitter Party on Feb 21st: Win Prizes and Tweet for Charity!

Do you remember in December when I threw a Twitter party to celebrate the launch of my book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Lifeā€™s Hard Questions?

No? Youā€™re not the only one!

I didnā€™t spread the word very well, so Iā€™ve decided to do it again, with the help of Karl from Party Biz Connect and my friend Mastin from The Daily Love.

This time the party will support one of my favorite charities; and to make it even more exciting, Iā€™m going to offer the Peace and Purpose Bonus Pack (valued at more than $150) to anyone who purchases …

A Simple Prescription for Natural Healing

ā€œPeace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life but the ability to cope with it.ā€ -Unknown

 

When my daughter, Nava, was critically ill, on a ventilator in a drug-induced coma for three months, one of the ICU doctors called me in after a couple of weeks to tell me that if she survives, it will be a long road.

He started writing out a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication to ā€œhelpā€ me through this horrific ordeal.Ā Ā I certainly donā€™t fault him here as this was an extreme acute situation and he didnā€™t know if I could …