fbpx
Menu

Category “Blog”

I Choose Me (and Why You Should Choose Yourself)

By

“One should always be on the trail of one’s own deepest nature.” ~Henry David Thoreau

I am watching my beautiful eighteen-year-old daughter begin to navigate life as a young adult. Dating, friends, work, school, and future plans: the perennial Big Five in terms of potential landmines.

I am projecting like mad, reliving my own traumas, and hoping she will be more successful, more lucky, and more savvy by a long shot than I ever was.

And mostly, I find myself on the sidelines silently urging her (okay, not always silently) to choose herself. 

Choose herself when the friend who …

Trying to Change Your Life? 6 Reminders to Help You Keep Going

By

“You can’t change what’s going on around you until you start changing what’s going on within you.” ~Zig Ziglar

When you’re studying for eighteen years to have a chance at a better future, you’re not expecting to end up wearing yellow gloves and washing dishes, right? But what if I tell you that it made me happier than a job sitting behind a desk at a renowned institution?

You might be thinking now, “If this post is about how to change from a job behind a desk to one behind a sink, I better not waste my time reading it.” …

Healing the Inner Child: Free Yourself from Subconscious Pain

By

“The child is in me still and sometimes not so still.” ~Mr. Rogers

We’ve all been there. Either we’ve said “Stop acting like a child!” to someone who we felt was acting immature, or someone said it to us in a moment that we’re not too proud about. Many couples would sum up their frustration with their partner by saying that, at times, they act like a child.

For many of us, we continue to feel frustration and disdain for the part of us that seems to repeat in failure, pain, or foolish behavior. Whether it’s unhealthy relationships, acting …

When Fear and Panic Win: How to Deal with Anxiety

By

“Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once. Breathe. You’re strong. You got this. Take it day by day.” ~Karen Salmansohn

As much as I believe that you can move through fear to do whatever it is that you want to do, sometimes fear wins.

Sometimes, try as you might, you can’t push yourself forward. You retreat, worn, battle scarred, banged up, and with your tail between your legs.

You wave your white flag. You surrender.

Fear wins.

But it is in this moment of loss that you can learn some very important things.…

4 Simple Sentences That Can Prevent Arguments and Resentment

By

“There are two sides to every argument, until you take one.” ~Unknown

The phone rang. My partner and our daughter were away hiking and camping. I’d wanted to go with them, but my partner had discouraged me.

My partner had a last-minute change of heart, but I’d remained firm. They hadn’t welcomed me, I said, so they could do without me.

Now, after a day of hiking, our daughter phoned me. They wanted me to join them for dinner and then join them for the second day of the hike.

How do you deal with feelings of disappointment, frustration, or …

Gratitude: The Antidote for Painful Feelings and Fuel for Happiness

By

“The struggle ends when the gratitude begins.” ~Neale Donald Walsch

The longer I travel on my journey, the more I realize that gratitude is the universal antidote to painful feelings. In fact, it’s the quickest route I know to happiness, which makes it a good idea to be grateful all day long.

However, when we are in a low mood or something knocks us off course, it can be easy to forget just how many amazing things there are in our lives to be grateful for, even just in one single day. It’s as if a setback erases our …

Book Giveaway: Drawn Together (A Dharma Comics Collection)

By

The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are:

  • Kristine Charbonneau
  • Jessica Raymond
  • Darren

Every now and then something pops up in my Facebook feed that simultaneously makes me smile, pulls me out of my head, and pushes me to be the best version of myself. Many times when that happens, it’s a comic from Leah Pearlman.

I first met Leah in 2010, shortly after she began creating these simple yet enlightening drawings. In person, she exudes warmth, love, and wisdom, and her comics are a reflection of her sunny personality and outlook.

Since I’m a huge fan of …

13 Things to Do Instead of Comparing Yourself to Others

By

“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” ~Shannon L. Alder

You know it already.

You know you shouldn’t compare yourself to others. Yet, that’s often easier said than done.

Job title, income, grades, house, and Facebook likes—the number of categories in which we can compare ourselves to others are infinite. So is the number of people we can compare ourselves to.

Comparison is generally the fast track to unhappiness. It’s a recipe for misery. All it does is keeping you focused on what you don’t like about yourself and your life.

Ever …

5 Reasons to Forgive Yourself and How to Do Better Going Forward

By

“At the end of life, the wish to be forgiven is ultimately the chief desire of almost every human being. In refusing to wait; in extending forgiveness to others now; we begin the long journey of becoming the person who will be large enough, able enough and generous enough to receive, at the very end, that absolution ourselves.” ~David Whyte

The last time I saw my mother she was smiling and laughing at nothing in particular. My mother has had dementia for almost ten years now. Each visit brings an onslaught of guilt and uncomfortable feelings. Could I have …

Dealing with Postnatal Depression: It’s Okay to Ask for Help

By

“The light at the end of the tunnel might seem a long way off. But the switch may be very near.” ~ Anonymous

When I think about it now, the ominous signs of postnatal depression were there even while I was pregnant.

What started with worries and anxieties would continue to escalate after the birth of my child, finally coming together like a perfect storm, to become a deep, dark depression that would threaten to take my life away from me.

Eighteen months after my daughter was born, now barely able to function, I found myself alone in the …

3 Things That Cause Unhealthy Food Cravings and How to Stop Them

By

“Reminder: food is fuel, not therapy.” ~Unknown

I learned about food cravings at a young age.

My parents divorced when I was six years old. My older brother and I ended up living in another city with our grandmother. We used to spend long hours alone, and we learned soon enough how food could help us lift our mood and suppress our real feelings.

That was when I started having unstoppable food cravings.

Eating would make me feel good and bring me peace and calm. Trying to avoid my favorite foods would make me nervous and unsettled, and would …

6 Lessons to Remember When Someone Judges or Criticizes You

By

“Every judgment, all of them, point back to a judgment we hold against ourselves.” ~Lynne Forrest

I sat across from my good friend Anna over a cup of coffee. We had been having issues in our friendship and had finally gotten together to discuss them. I’m not a fan of conflict and call myself a “recovering people pleaser,” so I was very nervous.

I noticed immediately that the conversation didn’t seem to be going very well. I addressed my issues concerning our friendship and tried hard to own my part. But Anna kept saying things like, “There are …

9 Mindful Social Media Practices That Will Make You a Happier Person

By

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick

Social media is not a full (or even sometimes real) portrayal of someone’s life. If you forget this, you fall into the trap of comparing your life to what someone else chooses to share.

This is dangerous.

Comparing can lead to feelings of inadequacy, envy, and even hatred toward others. These kinds of feelings, if left un-dealt with, can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. Or, if you are a person who already struggles with anxiety or depression, having these kinds …

30 Trillion Reasons to Be Grateful: An Ode to the Awesome Human Body

By

“What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful than the garment with which it is clothed?” ~Michelangelo

“Stop hunching! Stand up straight!” This is what I heard as a young child.

A running commentary on my appearance continued throughout my childhood. It was well intended, but not entirely helpful.

I grew self-conscious. If you’ve ever decided you’re too tall or too short or too fat or too thin, or that some parts of your body look unsatisfactory, you’ll understand.

Then I went …

How Introverts Can Meet People Without Bars or Booze

By

“Be yourself, because an original is worth more than a copy.” ~Unknown

There was a moment during my twenties years when I realized I was an introvert.

Now, this may sound like a mundane realization to you, but trust me, this was the Big Epiphany of my young life.

I spent my teenage years pretending to be someone else. Like a lot of my friends, I went out as much as possible. I partied. I was loud.

Until it dawned on me: I hated going out. I hated parties. I wasn’t loud. Honestly? I just wanted to stay home, drink …

The Key to Letting Go of Your Ex: Love Them More

By

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” ~Barbara De Angelis

My first love broke my heart into microscopic little pieces. I honestly didn’t think I’d survive. Losing him was like losing a limb. I couldn’t function.

Yet, by the time that he and I had parted ways, our connection was already severed, bleeding, broken—hanging on by threads we both imagined were there.

When we met, we were idealistic, open-hearted, trusting teenagers. Three years later, we were both addicts, self-harming in our own ways, and both in …

Simplify These Things and You’ll Enjoy Life a Lot More

By

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” ~Lao-Tze

So said Lao-Tze, perhaps one of the greatest teachers the human kind has ever had.

When I committed myself to the most important journey of my life (of course I’m talking about the spiritual one), I was focused on gaining patience. I worked hard to free my mind and soul from all clutter and emotional charge.

There was one aspect I kept ignoring: getting rid of the clutter. When one of my closest friends was in my room, she didn’t wait too long …

Why Loving Someone Isn’t Enough to Make It Work

By

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ~Stephen Chbosky

Have you ever thought that you could love someone enough to make everything work?

Have you been in a relationship where you knew you weren’t really happy, but you kept saying, “But I love him/her. Isn’t that enough?”

I know how it feels to believe this. I have felt this more times than I care to admit. The worst was when I fell in love with my ex-husband. He was twelve years my junior, from another country (Greece), and barely spoke English.

Our souls connected immediately, and I fell in …

How to Avoid End-of-Life Regret: Stop Giving Your Life Away

By

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown

Do you ever wonder what life is all about? You may wake up day after day and go to a job you can barely stand. You might be in an unsatisfying relationship that’s on its last breath, yet you can’t seem to let it go.

Maybe you spend more money than you have, or you eat or drink too much because it’s the only thing that distracts you from your misery. Whatever the distraction, you know you are unhappy, but powerless to know what …

When Things Don’t Work Out: Who Knows If It’s Good or Bad?

By

“It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” ~Tony Robbins

I recently received a rejection letter for a voluntary role befriending and supporting a child in the care system. I was excited at the prospect of supporting a child who had likely been through a lot, and had been quietly confident that I would be great in the role.

After all, I am an emotionally responsible, fun-loving, deeply caring adult who had lived through a ton of difficulty: addiction and alcoholism (my own and my mother’s); growing up in …