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She just wants to be friends…. help please

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  • March 9, 2020 at 9:43 am #342462
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Harry:

    I want to understand better, therefore I ask:

    You wrote that after she broke up with you, following years where you sacrificed so much for this woman, having spent so much money, time and energy on her , it was you who has apologized to her, most recently (“I have written countless letters and given flowers multiple times during this week apologizing”)-

    I don’t understand: what is it that you apologized for?

    anita

    March 9, 2020 at 10:43 am #342474
    Valora
    Participant

    Hi Harry,

    I am also wondering about what Anita asked, and in addition, what did she do for you?  The way it’s written, your relationship is looking very one-sided, with you giving up everything and doing all of these things to make her life better. Had she done the same for you as well or has it just always been you putting in all of the effort?

    Either way, I would not be friends with her. I would stop talking to her completely. For one thing, she cannot miss you if you’re still always available and chasing after her. Also, if you cannot stop yourself from checking all of her social media, it might be best to block her until you heal a bit.

    March 9, 2020 at 11:23 am #342480
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Harrison,

    Remember the song, “I want it all or nothing at all”? There’s a lyric in there that says, “I’ve had the rest of you now I want the best of you I don’t care if that’s not fair”.

    Not only did she break your heart and engagement BUT she probably had an encounter with that other dude (who is bad in bed I’m sure!) but she wants you to be friends and you’re apologizing to her!

    NO!

    This is so nuts that this relationship is now Pass/Fail. All or Nothing. Tell her that if you cannot be her husband (please don’t) then you cannot be her friend.

    One day you will find the true love of your life, be wildly successful with a handsome brood of children and she will stalk you on social media wondering if she was the one that got away. Her only consolation.

    Best,

    Inky

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