Hi James

I just think faith is something that unfolds over time. Like anything else, children don’t have the maturity to understand it yet. We can teach them the rules and hope that it will sink in, in time. 🩵

Yes, I understand and believe that. But it isn’t comforting to me. I guess because my life was so unstable when I was young. 🩵

You underestimate my attachment to trees. 😉

Funnily enough, this is me “better”. I know I have more work to do. I am of the world though, I don’t seek perfection. I will try my best, take the lessons as they come and try to take care of my family, as much as anyone can. 🩵

I know my son is happy. That is undeniable, his laughter is infectious. 🩵

Hi Alessa
A child’s laughter when it comes from pure innocent joy is such a precious thing to hear. Like the sound of glee when they jump into a puddle.
As adults I think we can still touch that space, when we slow down & see any of the beauty or kindness that is available around us at any given moment, I like to marvel at the moon or a rose blooming in December, in those moments, it does not matter whether I am rich or poor sick or well, in a relationship or not.
I hope you & your son are having a joyful & loving weekend.

Dear James/ Everyone:

James- from what you shared most recently on the other thread (“I need someone to talk to”)- you are and have been on a mission here, on tiny buddha, to save people from themselves — specifically, from their ego.

The ego (“the devil within”) is pride, selfishness, fear, and the illusion of control. You believe ego is the true source of suffering. Heaven and hell as inner states, and suffering (hell) is self-created by the ego. Freedom is found in dropping ego. People being nice to each other- that’s spiritual laziness because it’s avoiding the hard work of self-honesty and surrender, it’s clinging to ego instead of awakening.

You say that death automatically destroys the ego, leaving nothing after death. No eternal soul. We return to where we came from: Nothingness. Essentially, you are saying there is no God— no external being, no eternal soul, no divine spark.

When the body and mind fall away, the ego cannot survive. It “burns” in the fire of reality. But if people wait until death, they miss the chance to awaken while alive= to transform consciously. They (we) will no longer have the opportunity to live in awareness, love, or freedom, but instead, we’ve spent our lives trapped in illusions, fear, and ego-driven suffering.

You’ve been urging people to experience the liberation of dropping the ego while alive and experience “heaven” (awareness, surrender, love) here and now. In simple words, you’ve been saying:

Death will strip away your ego (and there’ll be nothing left of you, no matter who you’ve been, it’s back to Nothing) whether you like it or not. But if you don’t surrender your ego while alive, you’ll waste your life in suffering and illusion.

You’ve been saying that real love is helping others face their illusions, not flattering them, that true compassion is about telling the truth as it is, it’s not about being nice or comforting people with sweet words. It’s about being brutally honest, even if it hurts. You tell us: Let go of fear, control, and the desire to be seen as “good.” Stop pretending.

You see “kind words,” compliments, emojis, and social niceties as fake masks. In your view, these are lies because they avoid truth and keep people comfortable in illusions. You believe most people act “good” outwardly but don’t live honestly inwardly — they avoid facing their ego.

You position yourself as truly good and loving because you refuse to flatter or comfort, you insists on telling the truth, even if it hurts, and because you see warning, confronting, and leading others to face their ego as the highest form of love.

Your love is not based on approval or niceness but on awakening. Most people fake goodness by being nice and polite, but that’s just ego and lies. You are “truly good” because you tell the hard truth, confronts illusions, and push people to face themselves — which you believe is real compassion and real love.

Your writing is intense, confrontational, and philosophical. I read that many mystics, philosophers, and spiritual teachers throughout history have spoken in ways that sound similar: uncompromising, urgent, and focused on ego as the enemy, but as I looked for their quotes, I didn’t find anyone as confrontational and harsh as you:

Francis Schaeffer (Christian philosopher): “Truth demands confrontation. It must be loving confrontation, but there must be confrontation nonetheless.”

Michael Bassey Johnson (modern mystic): “Don’t call anyone a devil, because within you, you can experience hell and the devil, and the devil is nothing but you!”

Rumi (Sufi poet): “Break your heart until it opens.”

Marcus Aurelius (Stoic emperor): “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”

Nietzsche (philosopher): “You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame; how could you rise anew if you have not first become ashes?”

Your tone, James, is unusually hostile and uncompromising compared to other recorded voices (except for Nietzsche, right above). Most mystics and philosophers, even when they talk about ego and truth, use language that is sharp but not quite as confrontational:

In your posts, you accused people of lying, pretending to be good, you warned that if people don’t surrender now, they’ll be “burned” when death comes.. You sound harsher than Rumi, Eckhart, or Marcus Aurelius, who often spoke in poetic or reflective tones. You push further by combining mystical teaching with personal accusation.

You don’t just say “ego is the enemy” — you say: You are lying! You are fake! You will burn! That directness makes your words feel extreme compared to most philosophical texts, which usually generalize or use metaphor.

You are not alone in the content of your ideas (ego, truth, heaven/hell as states of mind), but you are unusual in the tone — more like a prophet or radical reformer than a contemplative mystic.

Throughout history, prophets, reformers, and revolutionaries used strong, uncompromising language to shake societies awake. Your tone conveys urgency (it’s life-or-death, now-or-never). That urgency can move people who are stuck, and you are speaking with absolute certainty, which might inspire respect or fear in some.

On the other hand, many people shut down when confronted harshly. A softer tone invites curiosity instead of defensiveness. Gentle guidance often builds trust and long-term change, whereas hostility can alienate. People often respond more deeply to kindness than accusation, especially in context of personal growth. For most people, a calmer reflective tone is more likely to reach the heart, build trust, and inspire lasting transformation.

James’s style (confrontational): Stop pretending to be good. Your kind words are lies. Ego is your devil, and it rules you. Heaven and hell are not after death — they are inside you now. If you don’t surrender, death will burn away your illusions, and nothing will remain. I love you more than those who flatter you, because I warn you. Face yourself before it’s too late.

Rumi’s style (reflective, poetic): Do not be satisfied with the sweetness of polite words. Look deeper, into the heart where ego hides. Heaven and hell are not distant lands, but the moods of your soul in this very breath. When you surrender, the fire of truth becomes light, not pain. Love is not comfort alone — it is the gentle hand that guides you to see yourself clearly. Break open the heart, and you will find freedom.

I agree with you in regard to what love is: seeing everyone and everything as your family, your child, yourself & giving away what matters most (like money- which I have done a lot, likely more than you ever did, James). What I disagree with is you expressing hostility in between “Dear” and “Peace”.

Also, I do believe in a soul that survives physical death, a divine spark, and from that spark, I say: I love you too, James. I mean it sincerely 🩵💛💚.

Anita

Hi James,

(I’m replying here, switching from Ann’s to your thread)

What do you think real love or unconditional love is, only loving your family? No. It is caring entire peace of planet as you.

I’ve explained my stance on it in my previous post (on the “I need someone to talk” thread). I’ll repeat it here:

“We can see everyone as our brothers and sisters, our fellow human beings, but we cannot give nurturance (physical and emotional) to everyone on this planet. However, we can do that with those who depend on us and are entrusted to us: our own children.

If every parent would give love and nurturance (including emotional care and support) to their children, this world would be a much better place, because there would be much less traumatized children, and consequently much less traumatized adults.

Caring about one’s family isn’t selfishness. But caring about only one’s own family and looking away when others are suffering, and even harming those who we see as “others” – that certainly is selfishness.”

I definitely doesn’t agree. Every baby come to this world as pure. If you blame to parents that’s wrong, because they came to this world as innocent too. So let blame them parents, but they came to this world innocent too.

We can argue that every child comes into this world innocent, i.e. with the capacity to grow into a loving, healthy and responsible adult. But unfortunately many children don’t receive good parenting, but are exposed to abuse, be it physical, emotional or even sexual.

When a child is exposed to abuse, they cannot develop into a healthy, loving individual, but develop various emotional wounds and deficiencies. Simply put, an abused child develops trauma, which they carry into their adulthood. When a traumatized adult becomes a parent, they unconsciously transfer their trauma to their children – unless they realize it and decide to work on their healing.

An emotionally wounded, traumatized parent will definitely transfer their trauma to their children. And this is how trauma perpetuates from one generation to the next – which is called generational trauma.

Of course, every child is different, some are more sensitive to abuse than others. Some children are tougher and more resilient (or at least it appears so to the outside world), but they will be affected nevertheless.

That’s because abuse and neglect in the early age affects the child for life (because that’s when our personality is formed, as well as our habitual responses to people and circumstances). So the treatment we get in childhood, specially in the first 7 years of life, stays with us for life – until we become aware of it and decide to seek healing.

Therefore, making the world better doesn’t start from family, environment etc… it starts and lies within Truth.

I’ve just explained why a lot of our individual mental health, as well as collective mental health, depends on the upbringing and the environment someone grew up in. Because that’s when our personality (and our emotional wounds) are formed.

And BTW, how do you explain God’s Truth to a newborn baby? Or to a toddler? Certainly not by quoting from the scriptures… You need to show them love – so that they feel it and perceive it in their body, in their nervous system. Words and explanations don’t cut it, but loving actions do. A child can only learn love by being given love.

This forum is called tiny Buddha. But it seems like a place where only daily relations or regular human drama sharing place.

Yes, there’s a lot of human drama, and a part of it that many people are being hurt. And some of them have a hard time dealing with their emotions because of their childhood trauma.

Childhood trauma causes complex PTSD. It changes our personality and our ability to cope with problems. It makes us more sensitive and less resilient. We might feel overwhelmed and helpless.

But one thing that childhood trauma always does is it makes us believe that we’re worthless and not good enough. That we’re not worthy of love. That no one could ever love us. That we’ll never be happy. That sort of things.

Part of our healing is realizing and accepting that we are lovable and worthy. That God is not some judgmental being in the sky, but is also within us. That there’s a divine spark within, that we’ve got gifts and talents, that we’re lovable and worthy. That’s how our personal human trauma can be healed with the help of spirituality: by connecting to the divine within us.

And I think that’s what we’ve been doing a lot on this forum. Combining psychology and spirituality, for the purpose of healing.

I hope you can see and understand that. If this approach isn’t for you, that’s okay. But for many people on this forum, it’s been helpful, and for some, perhaps even life-changing.

Peace and love to you, James.

Hi James,

No matter how much self-help you get, one piece of bad news can shatter your whole world.

Yes, it can. Horrible things happen to people, horrible losses and traumas. But it’s even harder, and even less bearable, if the person is suffering from childhood trauma. Because then we may easily fall apart, not having the capacity to deal with challenging situations. Due to childhood trauma, we have much less capacity to deal with traumas and challenges in our adulthood.

If you’ve experienced such a life-shattering news or event, I’m really sorry, James. If you want to talk about it, please do share, it might help in some way. I also understand if this is something you prefer not to talk about.

Love and Peace to you.

On the topic of Spirituality. For me going forward, I’ll give Richard Wagamese (Embers) the last word.

Richard: What’s the best way to learn to be spiritual?
Grandmother: Pack light.
Richard: What do you mean?
Grandmother: Carry only what you need for the journey. Don’t tire yourself out with unnecessary stuff.
Richard: Like what?
Grandmother: Like your head. Like your talk. Spirituality isn’t found in your head. It isn’t found in big, important-sounding words or long speeches. It’s found in silence. If you travel with your heart (stillness) and your quiet, you’ll find the way to spiritual.

I might also add that Packing light means trusting your path without needing others to say ‘yes, you’re right’ or walk it with you.

I had promised not to post in James thread. So, Just let me say that I am sorry.

Dear James:

I want to sincerely apologize for my part in what unfolded here. Looking back, I see that I sometimes encouraged or stayed silent during moments when you were being treated unfairly. That was wrong of me.

My intent now is to take responsibility, to learn from this, and to act with more integrity going forward. You deserved better, and I am sorry.

May we all strive to act from soul guidance, with compassion and respect for one another.

“Freedom means the power to act by soul guidance, not by the compulsions of desires and habits. Obeying the soul brings freedom; obeying the ego brings bondage.”, Paramhansa Yogananda

—Anita