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  • December 8, 2025 at 11:13 am #452743
    anita
    Participant

    Thomas, I just had to tell you that your line “… Sorry, lost track of what I was saying. I just had a Senior moment. Where was I ? Never mind. Maybe I should erase this? Ah fudge. Sorry.” placed the first actual smile on my face this morning. You are positively hilarious at times, thank you 😊

    Alessa: I too take things literally, and it was only yesterday- when I did my study on Advaita Vedanta- that I stopped being confused regarding this topic. So, when James said “you actually never did protect your child”, he meant (I hope!) that in the context of the eternal, Ultimate Truth, or Ultimate Reality (pure consciousness, where a body and mind do not exist), you can’t protect anyone.. because there’s no body or mind to protect.

    But in the context of the temporary truth, or conventional reality of your every day life, of course you have protected your son every step of the way and will continue to do so best you can 😊

    🤍 🩵 Anita

    December 8, 2025 at 1:02 pm #452750
    James123
    Participant

    Dear Alessa,

    I mean, how many molecules in your child body properly work because of you? Some people have strong personality some people have weak personality after the traumas. Did you be able to build your child personality I the correct way?

    Truth is it is not your child that feel safe, it is you that feel safe according to your programing conditions.

    I

    December 8, 2025 at 11:06 pm #452768
    Alessa
    Participant

    Hi James

    Well, I can’t control his DNA. I was lucky that he was born healthy. I can help his body to function. Ensure he has a good sleep routine, a healthy diet, make sure he stays hydrated, provide opportunities for exercise and try to keep his stress low. 🩵

    He still gets sick once or twice a month. Fortunately, nothing too serious.

    I’m trying to nurture the development of his personality. I’ve socialised him in baby classes, since he doesn’t have siblings. I’m teaching him about feelings and that others have different experiences. I taught him to be active because research shows that confidence comes from their physical ability for toddlers. Explaining the reasons why he can’t do something and validating his emotions as research suggests. I’m teaching him techniques for communicating and managing his emotions, encouraging autonomy. As research suggests teaching him values about hard work, effort and perseverance. Only time will tell the outcome. So far he is a sweet and friendly boy who isn’t afraid to let you know what he wants or doesn’t want. 🩵

    I don’t agree that some have a weak personality and some have a strong one. There are so many factors involved. Upbringing, the nature of the trauma and severity. Neurodivergence and brain damage.

    Yes, emotional contagion is a factor. But children also have their own emotions.

    Regarding my feelings about nursery, yes it is related to my trauma. He isn’t worrying about any of this. He might have feelings about it once he is actually in nursery and separated from me. I will have to hide my feelings to try and help him be comfortable.

    The truth of life is that in my country 1 in 6 children are sexually abused, mostly by people they know. He cannot live his life never trusting. So it is down to chance. 🩵

    December 9, 2025 at 11:57 am #452787
    James123
    Participant

    Dear Alessa,

    Body and mind works together.

    Sure. Do what is right for you to do.

    However, By placing even more emphasis on your child, you could cause unnecessary worry or disrupt their balance.

    In my opinion, the most important thing a child can receive is faith in God and the knowledge that everything comes from God (good and bad).

    Once they understand these, they won’t need you emotionally. Whatever you do, provide them with a good education tailored to today’s circumstances, ensure their success, and build their confidence.

    However, there will be a day when your child will fail, a day when their pride will be wounded, and a day when they will face death.

    Therefore, the upbringing you provide is wonderful, but only up to a certain point; after that, it’s inadequate.

    If you really want your child to stand strong in life, the most crucial point is to first teach them that there is a higher power, that this power can create or destroy without regardless of one’s expectations, and that people, money, and success come and go, therefore temporary, but that higher power is eternal. But not to rely on any priest or guru etc… rely directly on God itself.

    With this way, not your but your child’s all worries will vanish. Many people dismiss the Truth and thinking that controlling or taking care on their hand. Yet, if you are ill, even smallest molecule in your body stop working, you can do none. Therefore, the core of controlling or taking caring your child doesn’t come from you.

    People often only see the surface, not the deeper layers. Once you’ve seen enough of the deep, you won’t even understand how coordinated your hand moves are. You’ll see that even getting out of bed every day is a blessing. I think teaching your child these things, like visiting hospitals once a week, showing them to the poor, etc. Your child will soar with gratitude, and it will benefit not only themselves but all of humanity.

    December 9, 2025 at 2:46 pm #452795
    Peter
    Participant

    Student: Master, I see two paths before me. One speaks of truth, of patterns beyond my control.
    The other speaks of care, of tending to what is fragile. They do not seem to meet.

    Master: Do not divide the river. Its current is both the unseen source and the hand that cups water.
    Truth is the flow, care is the drinking. Without one, the other is dry.

    Student: But how can I know which is real? Is safety an illusion, or is it born of love?

    Master: Safety is a shadow cast by the Beloved. Sometimes it appears as questioning, sometimes as nurturing.
    Both are mirrors of the same sun. Do not cling to the shadow, step into the light.

    Student: Then the two paths are one?

    Master: Yes. The reed grows because the wind bends it, and because the gardener waters it.
    Mystery and care are not rivals. They are two notes of the same song.

    December 9, 2025 at 3:09 pm #452796
    Peter
    Participant

    A woman approached the Buddha and confessed: “I don’t know how to practice, how to be spiritual.”
    The Buddha asked gently: “Is there anyone you love?”
    She replied: “Yes, my newborn child.”
    The Buddha said: “Then start there. Care for him with mindfulness, with compassion. Let that love be your practice.”

    Sometimes I have the sense that “spirituality” has become too rigid a word.

    Spirituality is not a mountain to climb, nor a word to master. It is the quiet reflection that opens us to mystery, and the tender hand that pours love into the ordinary. Begin where your heart already leans, in the care you give, in the breath you notice, in the child’s laughter that needs no name. There, the Way is alive. There, the Beloved is already waiting.

    December 10, 2025 at 6:37 am #452806
    Alessa
    Participant

    Hi Roberta

    Thank you for your thoughts and kindness! 🩵

    Yes, I think I’m appreciating some of the things that my mother did more too. There are some things that I don’t know how she managed. How did she make sure that we had clothes? We didn’t have money. 🩵

    Even the things she did wrong can be seen as instructions for what not to do. 🩵

    I’m sorry to hear that your father has dementia. That is not easy. Thank goodness he has you showing him love. 🩵

    December 10, 2025 at 6:42 am #452807
    Alessa
    Participant

    Hi Thomas

    Thank you for your thoughts and kindness! 🩵

    You are right, it is all true. 🩵

    I want him to have a good life. Go to school and pursue education in some form. Get a good job and start a family of his own at some point. 🩵

    I suppose everyone has their own idea of what a good life is. I don’t mind if his idea differs from mine one day as long as he is happy. 🩵

    Your family is lucky to have you! 🩵

    December 11, 2025 at 7:00 am #452833
    Roberta
    Participant

    Hi Peter

    Thank you for your gentle approach in your last 2 postings. You share insights which nourish my inner journey & hopefully that of others.
    Bless you
    Roberta

    December 11, 2025 at 7:28 am #452839
    Alessa
    Participant

    Hi James

    I appreciate your opinion, it actually helped albeit perhaps not in the way that was intended. 🩵

    I guess as a child who was brought up to be very religious and experienced severe abuse, I can say that it didn’t help me at the time. It made me hate God for a long time because I prayed for help and none came. 🩵

    Religion I think instilled good values and taught me to be polite. As I got older I was able to reconnect with the spiritual side of things.

    I guess it is a comfort to know that there are no answers for difficulties such as these and that is okay. At least I’m not alone in not knowing. 🩵

    I do find it helps when people are matter of fact, so I appreciate your candour. 🩵

    December 11, 2025 at 7:35 am #452841
    Alessa
    Participant

    Hi Peter

    Thank you! That was very comforting and beautifully written as always. 🩵

    I feel better about it all now. There are no answers, sometimes you just have to experience life. Worry, love, joy, pain and all! One day at a time. 🩵

    Thanks again everyone! 🩵

    December 11, 2025 at 11:25 am #452853
    Tee
    Participant

    Hi Peter,

    I too would like to thank you for the two beautiful stories about spirituality. If I’m interpreting it correctly, spirituality would be both the transcendental truth, as well as its practical, embodied component: care for our loved ones and for our fellow human beings.

    This reminds me of the story of the Buddha who was meditating and fasting under a Bodhi tree, and that he reached enlightenment only after a woman handed him a bowl of rice (after having seen his starving, emaciated body). That’s when he realized the Middle Way, which is all about moderation and balance.

    Also, there are spiritual teachings that talk about Divine Father (representing the transcendent truth and divine laws) and Divine Mother (representing the sacredness of creation). Perhaps that’s what “As above, so below” refers to…

    Anyway, thank you for your balanced perspective, which is as Roberta said, nourishing for the soul 🙏

    December 11, 2025 at 11:46 am #452856
    James123
    Participant

    Dear Alessa,

    You are welcome.

    You seem so attached with any amusement.

    But, what i say about religion, many people stuck with main stream religion and never understand what real religion is. Because, people never try to really understand the religion, they are mostly in judgement, spend time trying to understand over the tv or listen some people and try to make out of it.

    Actually, that’s not the case. When one really dedicate to understand religion, but deeply, not as i am Muslim, christian, Hindu etc… But deeply try to understand the Truth, one slowly understand that nothing is under his/her control.

    That’s when complete surrendering comes from, real Spirituality or religion comes from or ego/self dissolves from or where the mind chattering ends from.

    Then you realize that your all past about abusement, your worries about your child etc… are nothing but just an attachment with mind chattering. Past and future only belongs to thoughts, and all what You have is this moment, right now. And that’s only when you can smell the roses and truly first time see your child what he/she really is.

    Therefore, seeing everything as God, therefore seeing your child has no differences than a tree and they are all from same source is inevitable.

    And that’s biggest gift your child and humanity.

    December 12, 2025 at 7:12 am #452880
    Peter
    Participant

    Thanks for the kind words, Tee, Alessa, and Roberta.
    Tee, I love your connection to the idea of “as above, so below.”

    I really appreciate the seeds James and Thomas offer us, and the space they create for us to explore them.

    December 12, 2025 at 11:01 am #452897
    James123
    Participant

    Dear Peter,

    Much love to you and all community

    Peace.

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