Dear Zenith:

“We reached India…his grandmother is commenting about the way I was dressed… As usual my husband is a man child… I don’t like the gender bias… I can’t deal with a man who is always worried about what his parents think“-

pew researching. org/ how indians view gender roles in family and society (March 2022):  “About nine-in-ten Indians agree with the notion that a wife must always obey her husband… even Indians who have completed college sometimes do overwhelmingly endorse traditional views on gender-related issues. For instance, large majorities among those with a college degree (80%) and those with less education (88%) agree with the notion that wives must always obey their husbands… Across a variety of measures, Indian men are more likely than women – but only slightly – to take a traditional view of gender roles. For instance, 82% of men say that when there are few jobs, men should have more rights to jobs, compared with 77% of women who share this perspective”.

“Families tend to place higher value on sons rather than daughters – a custom broadly referred to as ‘son preference.’ Adult sons traditionally live with their parents… daughters often live with their husbands’ parents and fulfill obligations toward their in-laws… Indians tend to be more conservative than people in most other countries surveyed when it comes to gender dynamics in the home and in the economy”.

I am adding: according to the survey, there are big differences between regions: for example, 61% of the surveyed people in Telangana (a southern state) say that sons should be the primary caretakers of aging parents vs 37% in Jharkhand (Hindi Belt) and 11% in Meghalay (a north east India).

On a positive note for a feminist like you, Zenith (from the same source): “In recent years, Indian society has paid increased attention to improving the status of daughters – the government’s Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao (‘Save the girl child, Educate the girl child’) program, for example, seeks to prevent sex-selective practices during pregnancy and to ensure educational opportunities for girls by conducting public awareness media campaigns, among other policies”.

I hope that you are feeling better this Thursday late evening (8 pm in India).

anita

Dear Zenith:

You are welcome, and good to read that you are feeling better! No wonder you are exhausted: being around a lot of people who talk a lot is exhausting, plus it’s after 10 pm, late.

anita

Dear Zenith: a hard worker! How many hours of sleep do you get???

anita

Dear Zenith: no wonder you’re exhausted. How long into the night are you working? (I thought this was vacation time for you, not work time!) And what is everyone else doing while you are working.. sleeping?

anita

Dear Zenith:

I see. I am guessing that when you said one more week of this, you meant that you will be staying at your mother’s for the rest of the visit while your husband stays with his parents. I hope you have a special time with your mother.

anita

Dear Zenith:

I bet you are looking forward to spending the rest of your vacation with your mother. I hope you get along with your sister (who I believe is living with your mother still).

anita