My Close Friend Blocked me, forgave me but hasn't unblocked me

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This topic has 9 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 11 months ago by Swanky.

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May 23, 2019 at 2:16 pm #295373

Swanky
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A week ago My Close Friend got angry and blocked me on IG and on phone, because I criticized the name of her newborn. I did this because we chat every other day and felt bad that she couldn’t even tell me she was pregnant. I tried reaching out to her the first time via a random number, but she didn’t respond.

one week after the incident, she replied my mail yesterday and told me she wasn’t mad at me and she is glad that I have realized my shortcomings. When I talked about the friendship, I asked if she wants to break up a friendship or needs some time to process all this, she replied ” we are cool that’s all she has to say” . she didn’t even want to talk about other things that I did that annoyed her. she hasn’t unblocked me on social me on social media, which is our major source of contact. I feel like she isn’t truthful with me, she probably is still hurt. Please whats the best thing to do in this situation? We only talk via mail and I doubt if she has unblocked my phone number considering she hasn’t unblocked me from social media. Should I be upset, cos I don’t know what to think anymore, I feel angry and sad at the same time. I feel like my friend doesn’t want me anymore and doesn’t just know how to say it and prefers keeping me around. Please I need your advise.

May 23, 2019 at 2:26 pm #295377

Swanky
Participant

P.S Note: She lives abroad now and our major source of communication is via Instagram.

May 23, 2019 at 2:40 pm #295387

Inky
Participant

Hi Eddy,

You didn’t even know she was pregnant, so how close could the relationship have been? Or, maybe you have been historically critical, and she just wanted one thing to keep to herself to protect from negativity. And then when you found out about the baby you right away criticized the name. (Clue going forward: All babies are beautiful and all names are amazing! Even when they aren’t!)

I would do nothing. Yes, I would feel hurt too (been there!). But keep in mind that when someone blocks another on social media, it’s a way of taking back, or maintaining power in the dynamic between you.

Best,

Inky

May 24, 2019 at 2:24 am #295427

Swanky
Participant

Please more comments pls with no criticism. Your advice will be be appreciated.

May 25, 2019 at 8:53 am #295665

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Eddy:

Welcome back!

I am wondering, is this “Close Friend” the same woman as the “Bestie” you posted about two-three years ago?

anita

May 25, 2019 at 7:19 pm #295703

nto
Participant

Dear Eddy, it sounds like you can’t accept when she says “no” to you which is unhealthy. She blocks you and you call her from another number? If she blocked you it was because she didn’t want to talk to you at all and you disrespected her decision by calling her from a different number. I can see why she became upset with you. The fact that you disrespected her blocking you by trying to trick her with another number tells me that you must have disrespected her again. It sounds like your friend has decided that you don’t respect her boundaries and doesn’t want to talk to you so often anymore. I think the best thing you can do is ask yourself how you behaved in that friendship and how you can work on yourself and respect other people’s boundaries more in the future. Also I hope you don’t have romantic feelings or hopes for this friend because if she’s having another man’s baby and blocking you, it’s clear that she doesn’t see you that way at all.

Hope this experience helps you grow. Best of luck to you.

May 28, 2019 at 3:08 am #296043

Swanky
Participant

Thank you for your response and No! I do not have romantic feelings for her and clearly she is not upset because I tried reaching out to her. I didn’t call her, I only use a random number to send an apology text to her. I think she is still upset and not yet ready to accept me back fully. She only forgave me for her own peace of mind. I have given her space and hoping she comes back.

I really wish she could fight for the friendship just as much as I am doing. I care about her a lot.

May 28, 2019 at 6:26 am #296061

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Eddy:

You wrote: “No! I do not have romantic feelings for her”. Do you or did you ever have romantic feelings toward anyone else, a person other than your Bestie/Close Friend?

anita

May 28, 2019 at 8:29 am #296085

Valora
Participant

I think I see four explanations for you still being blocked here and it could be a combination of any of them (or something else that I’m not thinking of):

1. She forgot she blocked you, so she doesn’t realized you’re still blocked.

2. She could be still mad and just doesn’t want to unblock you but also doesn’t want to talk to you about it. As you said, you insulted her baby’s name. She’s likely to harbor resentment over that because that baby will have that name for his or her entire life so that’s a pretty big insult when it comes to new moms. So this most likely did some damage.

3. She has a newborn. This makes her very, very busy and also very, very tired, so your friendship is probably not a focus..

4. You are far more invested in the friendship than she is at this point and she isn’t concerned with remaining in contact, especially given the fact that she didn’t tell you she was pregnant.

So…. if it were me, I would just let it go and give her some time. It’s likely she’s exhausted, which means she isn’t going to want to deal with repair of a friendship with someone she never sees, and if you push her about being friends right now, it’s likely to just push her further away. If you give it some time, though, and maybe message her in a month or two after the baby gets a little older and starts sleeping through the night, she may be more responsive. I wouldn’t mention the fight or apologize again (because you already apologized so just leave it at that). Instead, just check in and see how she and her baby are doing. Then you can talk about unblocking if she seems responsive or if the conversation goes well… or maybe she will even unblock you in the meantime.

May 28, 2019 at 11:02 am #296145

Swanky
Participant

Valora you are the only person who actually gets my response. Thanks a lot for your response. I intend giving her the space she needs for now. I will send her a message in a month or two as you have stated. I really don’t think I can ask her to unblock me, I wouldn’t want her to see me as needy or put pressure on her. I believe she will unblock me if she still cares about me.

I am just worried and feel awful for what I did, so i guess my conscience is guilt-tripping me. I pray she unblocks me and see’s that I love her very much.
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