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This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Mark 8 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #282665

    B
    Participant

    Whilst dealing with the break up I have previously talked about.

    I was wondering does anyone ever feel like they are lost in life, strolling around without any real purpose.

    I find myself stuck, unsure of what to do or where to go.

    Other then my jobs, I don’t really have any hobbies as such. I often feel alone.

    I have friends but sometimes I wonder what their agenda is, whether it be a positive or negative influence on my life.

    I would like a change or perhaps advise from others, if anyone else ever wanted a change but did not know where to start.

    For a 24 year old I do not feel ” young wild & free”, I some what feel as though I don’t really have a life or don’t really fit it as such.  Does anyone ever feel lost?

    B X

    #282709

    Peter
    Participant

    I think most people have felt lost at least a few times in their lives.

    For myself that feeling of being lost tends to come around quite often. Maybe even weekly. It used to really get me down.

    This may sound strange but I felt bad for feeling lost not so much as being lost. Perhaps because I thought I had to know with certainty what I ‘should’ be doing or what my ‘purpose’ was and it was this thinking lead to being stuck… Not being lost. (Nothing will bring about the feeling of being lost and stuck like seeking a certain purpose. Purpose doesn’t exist as something to find.) Today when I feel lost I don’t feel down or beat myself up about it. I know at such times it only indicates that my eyes are closed.

    “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”  –  Henry David Thoreau

    That may sound trite but I suspect its a truth. Being lost a tipping point between despair and adventure. The Question being asked by life; will you be the hero of your story?

    Man’s true nature being lost, everything becomes his nature; as, his true good being lost, everything becomes his good.    Blaise Pascal

     

    • This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by  Peter.
    • This reply was modified 9 months, 1 week ago by  Peter.
    #282915

    B
    Participant

    Hello Peter,

    I’ve re read and re read your reply.. How true is that… I never thought of it that kind of way.

    I love the quotes and have wrote them down. I will remember this every time that wave of being lost strikes.

    Maybe I am lost and just waiting to be found, my someone or myself.

    Peter thank you for taking the time out to respond to me x

     

    #285561

    anita
    Participant

    Dear B:

    You wrote that you are “lost in life, strolling around without any real purpose…stuck, unsure what to do or where to go.. I have friends but sometimes I wonder what their agenda is.. For a 24 year old I do not feel ‘young & free’.. as though I don’t really have a life or don’t really fit it as such”.

    In a later thread you described a childhood experience: your mother married a man who was “very much like a child, constantly stropping around. He drank most evenings and didn’t particularly like me around… He would often leave my mum for periods at a time, leaving my mom devastated. Me and my mum’s husband would often clash as I would stick up for mum”.

    I think that if you get clarity about this very childhood experience, which led to you leaving that home at 18, you will no longer be lost in life. And you will no longer be confused about people’s agendas, includig the agendas of your ex boyfriend, his mother and his sister (your most current confusion, in your more recent thread).

    For the purpose of encouraging your clarity about people’s agendas, I ask:

    When your mother’s husband left her at any one time, you were happy, weren’t you? But she was devastated. Why wasn’t she happy too when he left, happy that the person who was harming her daughter was gone- why did she want him back knowing her daughter was hurting in his presence?

    – in other words, what was your mother’s agenda in regard to this man?

    anita

     

    #285819

    Mark
    Participant

    B,

    I can relate to not feeling having a purpose.  I see this as an inside-outside job.  Inside: get to know yourself, know your values, pay attention what you enjoy – even the little things, be mindful of the world around you, meditate.  Outside: try doing things,  get out in the world, start a hobby, sign up for a “fun” class like a music or drawing class or a woodworking class, volunteer, join clubs or Meetup, etc.

    Trying things out will help you get an idea on what interests you.

    Mark

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