apple-slice,

You have been in a LDR for only a few months?  How long did you know him in-person?

I see that you were not together (face-to-face) long enough to establish any sort of relationship foundation where you really get to know each other.  We get to know each other via activities where we interact, via different situations and environments where we not only bond but also where we get challenged and have our differences come up.  We get to know each other not only with words but our body language and energy.  We get to know each other by observing how each of us react/respond to such differences and different situations that crop up along the way.

How we act and behave is limited over the phone/Skype for that is only from the comfort of each of our bedrooms, sitting in front of a camera.

You want advice?  I would not look at him as a boyfriend for the reasons I stated.  You can have him as a sometimes friend to talk with occasionally but if you want someone more emotionally intimate and a person to share things with then find an in-person boyfriend.

Best,

Mark

Dear apple-slice:

Welcome back! So you met him in person for the first time and it was a good experience, good thing. Regarding your insecurity in the LDR context, wanting his undivided attention, reads like you want too much from him, that is, he can’t fix your anxiety and insecurity. Even if he gave you his undivided attention and reassured you repeatedly and frequently, all it is likely to take is one time that he is unavailable and the anxiety is back.

One solution is to take a break from this LDR, but if you return to it, the same anxiety is likely to return.

Best bets for you is to be in a relationship with a man who is local, a man who needs and wants to see you often, one who is predictable and reliable, while even in these favorable circumstances, you will still need to manage your anxiety, to not expect or ask or demand of the man to fix it, to take the anxiety away (he can’t and likely has his own anxiety!)

I hope to read more from you.

anita