I think that is one of the twelve step in AA. Accept the things one can not change and to change those things that one can. I forgot the rest of the steps.

And you said it’s difficult for you to accept things you cannot change, that it feels “bad and hopeless”.

Can you give me an example of a thing that you cannot change that makes you feel bad and hopeless?

To me, it brings relief to accept and stop fighting/ resisting what I cannot change.

🤍 🌙 🤔 Anita

Hey Confused:

I think I’m about to leave to the local taproom (AA by the way, stands for Alcoholics Anonymous). I am sorry you feel depressed, depleted and empty. I ask you questions when I do, and I try to understand because whenever I understood myself better, the reasons behind my behaviors.. whenever I undid my own confusion here and there, I felt better.

By the way, I wanted to ask you: you mentioned that you are disorganized attached. What caused this attachment for you?

(If I’m out, I’ll be back in a few hours).

 🤍 Anita

Hey Confused:

Local taproom is where people come together for company and alcohol, alcohol not being heavy duty alcohol drinks like whiskey, vodka and whatnot, but relatively low alcohol drinks: beer, cider and wine (I drink red wine).

“Chaotic house”, you wrote in regard the house where you grew up- that’s where Confusion can be replaced with Clarity as you look back and .. Well, the answers are there, in looking back and understanding now what we didn’t understand back then.

🤍🌙 Anita

Hey anita

Oh u mean something like a bar, i got it now.

But how can we understand?

I have been familiar with the alcohol since i was 14 haha, we were just drinking it on the streets.I just stopped because it ruins my stomach now.

Thank you for your thoughts, i think my mind is triggered 24/7, dunno how to set it at ease.
Today with the therapist, i realized that when people love me or express their love, i feel it like pressure and responsibility, so i guess i have to re-learn. Also she told me that to her it seems like i have feelings from a “distance” and when the other person comes too close, i dont feel them.

AA is alcohol anonymous. An organization for the recovery of the lives of people who were addicted to alcohol. They set rules to live by. I believe there are 12 steps. They are
1.acceptance,
2.hope,
3.faith,
4.courage,
5.honesty,
6.patience,
7.humility,
8.willingness,
9.brotherly love,
10.integrity,
11.self-discipline,
12.service

Of course, those are just words that represent the rules.
And in some places the rules are more spiritual. Like acceptance of God and opening oneself to God’s love.

For Buddhist, the story starts with the Four Noble Truths (about suffering).
The fourth noble truth is the path to escape suffering.
That path is called the eightfold path.
Eightfold path are the rules by which one lives.
A sort of fake it til you make it to Nirvana.
The path is laid with time spent sitting in meditation
And time spent with a teacher along with the sangha (the group of people one associates with along the eightfold path).
The general rules of life to reach Nirvana is called the Dharma.

Mostly, I think that humans are a social species.
So, it becomes necessary to find like minded people and help each other along the way.

I’ll respond shortly to your recent message, but for now. I want to say that it’s exciting that somewhere in the face of this world, a Confused had clicked “Submit” exactly 9 minutes ago.😃

Also, in regard to “how can I fix it when I can’t feel it”- what is the “it” you can’t fix? Is it the same “it” you can’t feel.. You are Confusing me, 😕 Confused.. 🤔