wisdom Archives - Page 66 of 407

If You Stuff Your Emotions Down: You Gotta Feel It to Heal It

“Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Sit with it. Even though you want to run. Even when it’s heavy and difficult. Even though you’re not quite sure of the way through. Healing happens by feeling.” ~Dr. Rebecca Ray

I’ve spent much of my life resisting my true feelings.

Anger made me feel wrong. Sadness made me feel weak. Neediness made me feel “girly.” Love made me feel scared.

I became an expert at hiding when I was feeling any of the above.

Some people numb their feelings with alcohol, drugs, shopping, or sex. I numb with control. …

Why Don’t We Finish the Year Soft?

By Lori Deschene

I’m Kelly and I’m a Heroine Addict: Why I Get My Fix from Fixing People

By Kelly Sullivan Walden

“Self-will means believing that you alone have all the answers. Letting go of self-will means becoming willing to hold still, be open, and wait for guidance for yourself.”―Robin Norwood, Author of Women Who Love Too Much

My drug of choice is not the kind of heroin one shoots in their veins. My drug is the kind of heroine that ends with an e—the feminine version of hero.

When I help someone, and they are grateful for the gifts I offer, my brain fizzes with a cocktail of oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine, resulting in a “helper’s high” I ride …

Eating Too Much While Working from Home? How to Solve Emotional Snacking

By Laura Lloyd

“We eat the way we eat because we are afraid to feel what we feel.” ~Geneen Roth

Sometimes I feel like asking me, a recovering overeater, to work from home is as unreasonable as hoping a sex addict will pen a report from the lobby of a brothel.

Snarky email? Feel annoyed. Get Penguin bar from cupboard.

Meeting over? Feel relief at no longer being on camera. Eat Wagon Wheel from cupboard.

Worked hard today? Need a reward. Wait, who ate all the kids’ lunchbox treats? Never mind, people, all good: I found the cheese.

This was me when …

I Dream of Never Being Called Resilient Again

By Lori Deschene

The 3 Ms That Help Me Cope with Seasonal Depression

By Will Aylward

“The word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” ~Carl Jung

My two-year-old son looked up at me with his big, blue, beautiful eyes.

He wanted me to play. I took a toy car in my hand and rolled it along the wooden living room floor we were both sitting on, making an enthusiastic VROOM as I did it. He smiled. He appreciated my effort at sound effects.

The streetlights standing on the road outside our living room window were already glowing warmly, even though it was barely 4:30 p.m. and the sky was …

You Can’t Build with Someone…

By Lori Deschene

Raise the Bar

By Lori Deschene

The Major Aha Moment That Helped Me Stop Fixating on Fixing Myself

By Shalagh Hogan

“The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.” ~Maya Angelou

My newest friend ended our three-month-long friendship on a July day when I’d just returned from a dreadful summer vacation. Her Dear Jane email read, “It’s not you, it’s me.” The lever had been pulled, I was dumped, and I thought, “Ha!” I’d spent the last three months trying to help her fix her problems. I knew she had more problems than me.

But then an anxious, obsessive thought loop began. What did it really mean? How could it not be about me?

This wasn’t the first …

The Story Must Go On

By Lori Deschene

Mindful Forgiveness: 4 Steps to Unlock the Healing Power of Your Mind

By Atte Nissinen

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~Steve Maraboli

The key to healing is learning to let go of negative thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness will allow you to be aware of your thoughts and feelings; forgiveness will help in letting them go.

Simple as it is in theory, putting it into practice may be harder.

Mindfulness, being aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment, is not that difficult. But the trick is to do it amidst …

Don’t Forget to Appreciate Yourself

By Lori Deschene

How I Reframed Letting Go So I Could Move on from My Painful Past

By Janice Holland

We are truly free when we let go of the thought that the past could or should have been any different than it was. This is so hard.

The challenge is born from our desperate need to validate our feelings and experiences. It often feels like we are invalidating ourselves if we let go of the thought that the past should have been different. We have been through hell, experienced things most people don’t know about, and it initially feels so devastating to think of just letting it go like it never happened. Where is the justice in that?

I …

I Hope Beautiful Things Happen to You

By Lori Deschene

Don’t Forget to Love

By Lori Deschene

The Agony of Anxious Attachment and How to Attract Better Relationships

By Esther Gutierrez

“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be looking for someone else to fill the void inside you, but no one will ever be able to do it.” ~Lori Deschene

There are four attachment styles including anxious, avoidant, anxious/avoidant, and secure.

Attachment theory teaches us that the way in which we attach ourselves to our romantic partner mimics the relationship we had with our primary caregivers growing up.

So, if you were like me and had parents who were not physically or emotionally present, you grew up feeling a void within yourself and always worrying if you were lovable. Because …

When People Are Mean and Refuse to Admit It or Apologize

By Sarah Charley

“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.” ~Robert Brault

I’ve always tried to distance myself from people who are rude, overly aggressive, and mean. But sometimes we become tied to people who might not have our best interests at heart.

One summer I became involved with a coworker who was at a bad spot in his life. I thought I could help him through this tough time, but just like a swimmer drowning in a pool, he grabbed on and ended up drowning me when I reached out and tried to save him.

After …

I Wish for Days

By Lori Deschene

If You Really Want to Change the World: 4 Ways to Be Kind

By Meerabelle Dey

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou

I’ve now reached the age in my life when every so often, I get an email or text informing me that someone I know has died. Some of the people who have passed away have been former supervisors or teachers from high school. Others have been the parents of friends or elderly members of my church.

At one time, the news that someone had died was shocking to me. Now it’s nearly a …