Tag: wisdom

Undecide

“Open minds lead to open doors.” ~Unknown

We start forming opinions at an early age and continue all through life.

We decide what we think is right and wrong, what’s good and what’s bad—not just on a larger scale (religion, politics, ethics) but also in every-day interactions.

How people should act. What people should think in certain situations. What it’s okay to feel and express, and when it’s smart or polite to do so.

We develop ideas about how the world should be to support our beliefs and views—things we learned from our environment and experiences—and inevitably feel a sense of internal conflict when a person or situation doesn’t fall in line.

They won’t always. In fact, they won’t more often than they will.

Sometimes our opinions have nothing to do with fact, logic, or common sense. It’s just a matter of what feels right, what our gut tells us, because our gut’s always right. Isn’t that what we’ve been told? To trust our instincts against all odds? We don’t often stop to consider what educated our gut; when we learned what to trust and what to fear.

That’s usually what it comes down to. What’s familiar and safe and supports our sense of order versus what’s unknown and unpredictable and reminds us of how little we can control. (more…)

March 12, 2010
Why You Should Prosper Even Though There’s Suffering in the World

I write a newsletter every week, and last month a subscriber emailed me with a question I thought was worth exploring.

… I guess what I’m getting at is if everyone had a choice, treating sewage would be the last thing one would want to do. Isn’t it? Well, yes, I’m making that judgment. If everyone was Wayne Dyer or that money guru lady Suze Orman, we’d all be reaching fantasy levels of achievement. That is what they seem to be proposing is possible.

But someone still has to take out the trash. If we’re all living big, then who’s taking care of the landfills? I guess we could all be having wonderfully luxurious lives but chip in on the dirty stuff sometimes? Like volunteer, or Adopt-A-Highway kind of stuff.

Then a boy in Iraq gets his arms and legs blown off and I’m supposed to be like “Yahoo, I’m living big???”….. uh? This is my ‘resistance,’ isn’t it?… Anyway, there is a topic here. Anything to help me feel better about living big while others suffer…

It’s a big question: If there are others suffering in the world, what right do I have to think about myself or my lofty goals? What right do I have to consider more for myself when there are others who can’t even feed themselves, literally or figuratively?

I’ll begin with a quote from Marianne Williamson who talks in her book The Age of Miracles about the Butterfly Effect (based in Chaos Theory):

“When a butterfly flaps its wings near the tip of South America, it affects the wind patterns near the North Pole. And the same is true in the realm of consciousness: Every miracle you work in your life is a blessing on life itself.” (more…)

March 9, 2010
50 Ways to Be More Peaceful and Mindful Throughout Your Day

“Peace is not something you wish for. It’s something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away.” ~Robert Fulghum

Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time visiting 1000 Awesome Things, a blog devoted to the many simple pleasures in life. Some of them remind me of being a kid, like this one about celebrities on Sesame Street. Others remind of me I’m stronger than I think, like this one about getting through difficult situations.

With that in mind, you can imagine how excited I am to receive a copy of Neil’s upcoming book, aptly named The Book of Awesome. I’m even more excited that I’ll be able to give away two autographed copies when I write my review. (Coming soon!)

In the meantime, as a way to pay tribute to this awesome book and my awesome new friend, I’ve decided to create my own awesome list, tinybuddha style.

Here are fifty peaceful things to help you be mindful and happy throughout the day: (more…)

March 7, 2010
One Simple Way to Make a Big Difference in Someone’s Life

“The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” ~Samuel Johnson

Just after my mother’s colon cancer surgery, my father was laid off from work.

I was sixteen years old and felt silently helpless and terrified. My mom had been attending church but, on this certain day, she didn’t feel well enough to attend. After this particular church service, an exceedingly thin, frail, elderly woman approached me. She requested if I would please accompany her on an errand.

I felt too afraid of being disrespectful of the elderly, so shyly I sat next to her in her car as she drove to a grocery store. Her name was Georgie.

I began pushing Georgie’s grocery cart down the first aisle. It was then that she paused, pointed to an item, and asked, “Do you have this in your house?”

I started to cry, realizing the true purpose of her “errand.” (more…)

March 1, 2010
40 Ways to Use Time Wisely

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” ~Annie Dillard

Time. It is arguably our most valuable commodity.

Unlike treasured gems, precious metals, and any other prized possessions, time can’t be hoarded, collected, earned, or bought with hard work, money, dignity, or our soul. It slips away whether or not we choose to pack meaning into it. Use it or lose it, so goes the saying.

Though we all know how limited our lives are in the time-space continuum, we sometimes act like we don’t know the value of time. We use words like spend, kill, or waste when we speak of how we while away the finite number of hours in each day.

Time management systems abound and still, we flounder and falter at making the most of every sunrise. We plan for the future and neglect to cherish the present. We’d rather look back wistfully even though the future is full of hope.

And yet, for many of us, it seems there are not enough hours in a day. We cram all that goes with living into twenty-four hours of ticking, bargaining with Father Time, naively expecting him to budge to our willful and resolute intentions to produce more, accomplish more, be more.

We paddle in paradox, limbs flailing, trading in the quality of our lives while doggedly pursuing an idealized quality of life.

Time. Like all the treasures in the world, we can’t take it with us when we reach our final stop. Some among us may never be willing to embrace happiness in and with the time that we do have.

For the rest of us, here are ways to improve our relationship with time. (Some things may appear to be contradictory. This is a testament to the complex nature of our relationship with time.) (more…)

February 25, 2010
Compare Well

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” ~Lao Tzu

Conventional wisdom suggests that if you want to be happy you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people. Conventional wisdom isn’t always realistic.

Try as you may to completely stop making comparisons, you’ll likely come back to the instinct at least on occasion.

Discontent is part of the human condition—the nagging sense that something’s missing, even when you seem to have it all. We’re constantly evolving, growing, and looking for new ways to expand our impact on the world, new ways to reach and stretch our potential.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing if you see the pursuit as constant gain instead of the cause as constant lack. And it’s equally harmless to compare yourself to others if it allows you to learn from people you admire.

If you compare yourself to your boss and it motivates you to work smarter, that comparison improved your life for the better.

If you compare yourself to someone your age who started a non-profit, and it inspires you to volunteer, that comparison made a difference in not just your life, but others’, too.

It’s when the comparison game gets you down on yourself that you need to be cautious. (more…)

February 23, 2010
7 Creative Ways to Turn Everyday Situations into Opportunities

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” -Milton Berle

The people who are the most successful in life are the ones who create their own opportunities. Since I’m a work-from-home freelance writer who prefers beadworking to networking, I have to be ultra creative.

I’ve identified seven simple ways to find opportunities in everyday situations. Here’s what I got:

1. Wear your resume while running errands.

Last year I read an article about a woman named Kelly Kinney who printed her resume on a T-shirt. What a brilliant idea! I always notice words on shirts; I’ve even been known to ask strangers to hold still so I can get a better look (far less awkward when the wearer is a man).

You can order a similar one at ResumeShirts.com for under $20–well worth the investment if it lands you the job of your dreams! (more…)

February 21, 2010
10 Ways to Slow Down and Still Get Things Done

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” ~Gandhi

Both the industrial and digital revolutions promised increased productivity, meaning people could work less and live a more balanced life. We all know that’s not how history has played out.

Even as technology advances, we work longer hours than ever and ironically, struggle financially and accrue more debt with each passing year.

If you haven’t noticed adverse effects on your personal relationships or the other areas of your life, you’ll likely keep plowing full-steam ahead and only stop when you have a compelling reason.

So here’s my proposition: Work as often as you damn well please! It’s your life; these are your moments to fill and hopefully enjoy.

But if you find yourself feeling stressed or detached from the present moment—if you sense life is passing you by as you scramble to get more—you may benefit from one of these ideas to slow down throughout the day.

1. Eat slowly.

This is a tough one for me. I devour food, always have. But I’ve found that eating more mindfully can be a meditative practice.

Chew every bite more, analyze tastes like you’re a foodie, and generally savor the experience. It likely won’t add more than ten minutes to your meal time, yet it will give you the chance to seep into the moment.

2. Do nothing for fifteen minutes after waking up.

Have you ever opened your eyes and immediately pulled out your iPhone or laptop? Or how about this: Do you roll out of bed two seconds after waking, having already created a ten-item to-do list in your head? Taking five or ten minutes to just lay with your thoughts allows you to ease into your day without such a sense of urgency.

3. Stare at a photo online instead of reading an article.

We’re knowledge seekers, which is a great thing. The more we learn, the more we understand and grow. However, the digital era presents a unique challenge: With so much information available, it’s tempting to seek knowledge far more often than you apply it.

Instead of learning something new on your lunch break, kick back and appreciate a beautiful image. Stillness is the answer to many of the questions you’ve been asking.

4. Choose an activity you usually multi-task and do only that.

Choose one task to complete mindfully today and maybe add to that tomorrow. My favorite is folding laundry. It’s warm, clean, and, most importantly, done!

Since I have an overactive mind, I need to tell myself certain things to stay in the moment: Enjoying this moment is my only task; there is nowhere to get to—only right now to be; nothing exists but this laundry in front of me (obviously not true, but it keeps me grounded).

5. Stare at your turned-off-TV for ten minutes before turning it on.

A lot of us fill our downtime binge watching our favorite shows. Absorbed by external stimulation, you miss out on the opportunity to connect with yourself, and before you know it, hours have gone by and you have to get back to work. Or your kids. Or dinner.

Before you get to your show, take a few minutes to just sit there and breathe. Use the screen as a canvas for visualization. Project your daydreams onto the tube, and sit with that for a few.

6. Block a half-hour of unplanned time in your planner.

Don’t plan to take a walk or meditate (although those aren’t bad ideas). Instead, plan to do whatever you end up doing. Get up, walk around, and see where that takes you. Maybe you’ll end up helping your neighbor wash his car, or playing jump rope with your niece. Nothing makes you feel present like spontaneity.

7. Write Parkinson’s Law somewhere you can see it often: “Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.”

Maybe you really need more than ten hours a day to get everything on your to-do list done. Or maybe you’re stretching your work to fill longer hours because society associates so many positive things with busyness. This saying reminds me to limit my work and still get it done so I can then focus on other things.

8. Notice the sights when you drive.

Have you ever watched a frantic driver bob in and out of traffic, passing and merging, only to find him right beside you at the red light? If road rage saves time, it’s generally not much, and it usually isn’t worth the stress it creates. Play some soothing music; notice license plates, bumper stickers, and the scenery; and allow yourself to enjoy this time.

9. Metaphorically toss your phone in the ocean for a half-hour every day.

I love the classic movie scene where the overworked protagonist tosses her phone into the ocean, or a fountain, or out the window and reclaims her sense of freedom. It’s not easy to disconnect from our always-on world, but the benefits of being unreachable make it worth the initial discomfort.

10. Say no.

Saying yes can open you up to new possibilities, but saying no can give you a chance for me-time: an hour when you don’t have to keep any commitments or please anyone else, or a half-hour when you can just kick back and do absolutely nothing.

—

Small changes throughout your day can slow down your pace without killing your productivity. Go ahead and keep getting things done. Just remember you don’t need to do it all in a panicked state of stress. If you find a more peaceful process, you’ll likely be both happier and more effective.

Photo by Nicholas A. Tonelli

February 15, 2010
8 Ways to Increase Your Joy Factor

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

When I lived in Santa Monica a few years back, I developed a friendship with a woman I learned a lot from. She was a yogini, writer, and actress.

One day she asked if I wanted to take a ride to her dentist’s office with her. She said it was fifteen minutes away but would take forty-five minutes to get there. Noticing the difference in the times, I asked the obvious question.

“Oh,” she said, “I always take the scenic route.”

Abraham Hicks said, “Reduce your workload by 30% and increase your fun load by 30% and you will increase your revenues by 100%. And you will increase your productivity by 10,000% (If there could be such a percentage). More fun, less struggle—more results on all fronts.”

My friend did this well. She always opted for the scenic route. It didn’t matter where we were going; she found a way to make it magical and fun.

Whether it was a meet-up for Banana Creme Pie at Babalu’s on Montana or an outing with our notebooks on the beach in Malibu, our lives were special today, no matter where we were hoping to get to tomorrow.

We think that it’s not until we get “there” that we can begin to enjoy what we have, but the basic premise of law of attraction is that what we focus on grows. So, wouldn’t we want to enhance that part of our life that we really want?

The only reason we want anything in our lives—more money, more freedom, more love, more friendships— is that we think we’ll experience more joy if we have those things. So, why not make the choice to experience more joy now? (more…)

February 12, 2010
On Learning to Set Priorities

“Living with the immediacy of death helps you sort out your priorities in life. It helps you to live a less trivial life.” ~Sogyal Rinpoche

Sitting in the ICU waiting rooms during recent months waiting to visit Mama, my life slowed down more than I can remember in recent memory. I had a lot of time to think about what I’ve done with my life in recent years.

Many things that seemed important at the time all of sudden seemed trivial. I realized how much my life had gotten out of control. I wasn’t a drug addict or alcoholic, but I had wasted many opportunities.

Sitting in the hospitals, I met parents whose children would probably die soon. Mama was transferred to another hospital before I found out. I met a woman whose husband was close to dying but made sure she spent every moment with him. I met families gathered during hard times.

Sometime between the visitation periods, I realized I won’t ever accomplish what I want in life if I didn’t change course. I have tried to do everything at full throttle at the same time. Focusing on too many projects at one time worked for a while but things seemed to fall break down on me. (more…)

February 10, 2010
On Catching Thoughts Before They Become Emotional Reactions

“I am not what happens to me. I choose who I become.” ~Carl Jung

Recently I experienced a big shock, the kind that most of us don’t encounter very often.

I was with a friend when I discovered evidence of a physical disaster near my home. I did not, at that time, know any of the details, nor did I know what kind of impact it might have on my own life.

Now, normally, I am a person who likes, even needs, to process my emotional impact verbally. In other words, I really like to talk things out. (What else would you expect from a professional therapist, right?)

But in this circumstance, I found myself unwilling to talk about my inner workings at all. My friend who was with me was even a little frustrated. She couldn’t understand why I shut down. I didn’t even know, myself.

So What Happened? (more…)

February 4, 2010
7 Tips to Travel Well on the Road and In Life

“It is better to travel well than to arrive.” ~Buddha

I have this thing about road trips. I love them, can’t get enough of them. I could never step on another airplane for as long as I live and be perfectly fine with that—but I love having all the experiences that can only happen on the road.

Like my mom and I sleeping in our car in the parking lot of a closed motel on our way to Sedona, Arizona. We foolishly decided to forego the hotel strip outside of Phoenix and look for something more “quaint”—until, at three in the morning, we realized we were in the middle of nowhere and the quaintest thing around were saguaro cactuses.

There’s something wonderful about having the experience of arriving somewhere understanding exactly what it took to get there; understanding the land, the people, the culture, and the weather in a way you can’t experience flying.

There’s also something about exploring the winding roads of my own country that intrigues me.

The small differences and similarities are fascinating. Driving from Tahoe City and ending up, after three hours on the road, in a tiny, one-horse town in Nevada eating BBQ and drinking beer with cowboys—these experiences keep the mind fresh and life interesting. (more…)

February 2, 2010
On Making the Unreasonable Possible

“You can do what’s reasonable or you can decide what’s possible.” ~Unknown

When I was in grade school my teacher had us write down what we wanted to be when we grew up. Honestly, at the time I had no idea.

I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to be but I knew I wanted to be doing something important, so I jotted down careers that, in my young mind, equaled success: doctor, lawyer, dolphin trainer, firefighter, astronaut etc.

Then life happened and all of a sudden I was twenty-four, working for the man, and in a serious relationship that seemed to leave me feeling miserable more often than not. Where was that wide-eyed little girl who could have been anything?

I was at the point in my life where I actually had to make a decision about who I wanted to be. I could be a writer and share my wisdom with the world—but wait, what wisdom do I have? I had no great life changing stories or lessons that others could learn from. I was ordinary and borderline boring. (more…)

January 28, 2010
8 Ways to Stay Present & Focused in a Tech-Driven World

“Be present. It is the only thing that matters.” ~Peaceful Warrior

Technology pervades our world. From cell phones and laptops to iPods and digital cameras, the average person owns an arsenal of gadgets that, in many ways, simplify life.

You can increase your productivity, connect with people quickly, and access information instantaneously—while documenting your every move via tweets and photos to upload to Twitpic or Facebook.

Which begs the question: At what point does technology stop enhancing life and start detracting from it?

When you feel tied to your phone and enslaved by your email, can you pull away, center, and take a tech-vacay outside the shadow of your laptop?

Does it stress you out to disconnect in an always-on world where everything moves at the speed of light?

And lastly, do the people in your life suspend their sense of urgency long enough to allow you a break?

The technology itself is not to blame; just like guns don’t cause violence, gadgets don’t obliterate our mindfulness. We’re in control of the tools we use. Still, it isn’t easy to stay present and focused in a world that’s always plugged in—and to every available outlet.

The possibility of mindfulness underlies almost everything we publish at Tiny Buddha in an attempt to harness technology for personal growth and wisdom. With this in mind, I couldn’t be more delighted to learn about the Wisdom 2.0 Conference, which will take place this month in Mountain View, California.

Soren Gordhamer, who wrote a book also called Wisdom 2.0, has secured some amazing speakers, who each have their own unique perspectives on wisdom in the tech age. Twitter, Facebook, and Google will all have a presence, not to mention Yoga Journal, Whole Foods, and a number of wellness-focused organizations.

While meeting with Soren last week to discuss the event and my possible involvement, I thought of some ideas to stay present in a world dominated by gadgets. Here’s what I came up with: (more…)

January 24, 2010
Accepting Blame and Asking for Forgiveness

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” ~Kimberly Howard

As a kid I was quite often “långsur.” Långsur is a Swedish expression for being grumpy for a long time. Every time someone was mean to me, I sulked for hours, even days. This became quite tedious at times, especially since as soon as I became happy again, some new event triggered me to sulk again.

You get the picture.

I simply had such a hard time forgiving people.

It went the other way too. I found it hard to admit that something was my fault. At least out loud. Inside, I blamed myself, but I could not get the “I’m sorry” across my lips.

As I grew older, I realized no one liked Miss Grumpy and those long days of sulking had to be shortened a wee bit if I wanted to keep some friends, but to be honest, forgiving was still hard. Also, even though I was happy on the surface, many days I was still “långsur” on the inside.

Guess who suffered the most from this?

It was not until I had kids that I really got out of this extremely negative mindset.

All of a sudden, I didn’t have time to sulk. Diapers were to be changed, bottles heated; and sleep—that wonderful thing we all take for granted BK (before kids)—was to be enjoyed, or rather desperately grasped at when there was a moment.

Not only did I no longer have time to sulk, I also realized that for us parents to mentally survive, we had to be able to communicate quickly, honestly, and rationally. We had to make decisions without hesitations. We made mistakes all the time, but we survived them.

At this stage, a baby’s life depended on my behavior. It was not just me anymore.

It was at this time that I realized that you can actually get mad and stop being mad in matter of minutes, as long as you set your mind to it. It was up to me to decide how I wanted to feel inside.

And, if I did wrong toward another person, there was a liberating sensation in saying I’m sorry and moving on. No dwelling. (more…)

January 15, 2010
Connecting with Friends: Faster Isn’t Always Better

“When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another and ourselves.” ~Jack Kornfield

In today’s virtual world, considering regular mail can feel rather absurd. Why would you send a postcard when you can instantly send an email or an e-card conveying your thoughts and good wishes, right?

But what happened to the charms of opening your mailbox and wondering what lies within? Hasn’t the walk back from the postbox become rather boring with only bills and flyers to expect?

Though the digital age has done a marvelous job at getting the world closer, it hasn’t been able to incorporate the personal touch that the physical world offers.

The tummy just doesn’t tingle on an electronic signature saying, “Miss you,” and the joys of hearing from someone are short lived, extending only to the length of the email message itself.

I myself had forgotten the charms of the snail mail until recently, when I met a young gentleman during my travels across the globe. As we exchanged contact details and said our goodbyes, he managed to startle me as he said, “I’ll write to you.”

Now being from the twenty-first century and deeply sunken into the virtual world, I found this statement to be rather preposterous.

“You mean email me,” I said sarcastically.

I failed to understand why someone would want to write to me through regular mail, since it may take weeks to arrive, when I could possibly be reading the message almost instantaneously.

Though something in me suddenly cherished the idea of getting physical mail. The simple yet thoughtful words “Hold tight, you should be getting something in the mail soon” made me feel like a child again, impatient and excited about what lies ahead.

The excitement of figuring out the postman’s timings and running to the mailbox as you see the mail van cross is priceless. The actual present at this moment is irrelevant; it’s the thought that makes all the difference. (more…)

December 6, 2009
Let Go

“Some people think it’s holding on that makes one strong—sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

Maybe your life doesn’t look like you want it but you’re not sure how to change it or even if you can, so you feel hopeless, frustrated, and even a little bitter.

Or maybe someone hurt you so deeply that you don’t know if you can trust them anymore, so you feel angry, defensive, and indignant.

Every day we can find a million and one reasons to feel discouraged, or incompetent, or vulnerable, or harried—all things that hurt when we hold them inside like a tight fist we refuse to unclench. And yet we do it anyway.

Until we decide to stop. (more…)

November 17, 2009
Need Less, Have More: Life Expands When We Eliminate the Excess
“Knowledge is learning something new every day. Wisdom is letting go of something every day” ~Zen Saying

Simplicity, at its heart, comes down to eliminating the excess in our lives.

Excess needs, wants, possessions. The list goes on.

Society tries to sell us on the idea that having more in our lives should be the goal and is the answer. But is more really improving the quality of our lives?

Do more possessions beyond a certain point really add value to our lives?

Do more commitments in our diaries really help us feel less stressed and rushed?

Does always wanting the latest gadget really improve the quality of what we have now?

Is more even feasible for many of us who are struggling just to make ends meet and pay basic bills in these challenging economic times? Many can barely afford enough, let alone more.

Living in the Moment

Having more in our lives or buying into the concept that more is better can mean we miss living in the moment. We’re constantly waiting for our lives to be complete with more and striving for a day that will never come.

We’re in a state of deferred living. Always assuming what we have now is not enough. Always wanting more.

My Journey to Simpler and Less

My own path to wanting to live a simpler life is, I’m sure, fairly typical.

Around four to five years ago my life was going pretty well with little to complain about in the grand scheme of things. I had great friends and family, a good job, a roof over my head, and certainly knew where my next meals were coming from.

However, I had also started to accumulate more in my life. More material possessions, more commitments, more meetings, more financial responsibilities, more hassle. Alongside this I felt like less and less of my time was, well my time.

The quality of my time was decreasing as more was added to it.

I was busy and in motion a lot of the time but wasn’t really getting what I truly wanted out of life. I had bought into the concept of more and that more would be the answer. I had lost track of my own goals a little.

A period of reflection followed. In this period of reflecting, I started to identify more of what I truly wanted in life. I also started to uncover those things in life I would rather be without.

I started to seek out books on the subjects of simpler living and lifestyle redesign. I had the good fortune to come across the work of some truly great authors and thinkers (Leo Babauta, Chris Guillebeau, and Tim Ferriss, amongst a few). These books challenged my thinking but also encouraged me further into the rabbit hole I was starting to disappear down.

I also started to take action.

I started to peel back and eliminate what didn’t matter.

I started extracting myself from commitments and meetings I really had no interest in being at or didn’t feel I could add value to.

I learned the value and power of a polite “no thanks” when requests on my time (meetings, social gatherings) didn’t excite me, add value, or help my goals along in some way. Importantly, I started to feel less guilt about saying no in these cases.

I started to see that conventional wisdom doesn’t always have to be followed.

I started to remove distractions and excuses I was making to myself.

I started to focus more on the things and people that were important to me.

I realized I value freedom and flexibility over the ability to just earn more and started to try to seek out ways of living accordingly.

I started to accumulate fewer material possessions but enjoyed my money more (holidays, events, great dinners, etc.).

In short, the quality of my life has improved since I have sought to simplify things and intentionally live with less.

Was Making the Change Easy?

In short, no. This is very much a journey and not an overnight fix. However, in my own case the process of working toward a focus on less has already made some powerful changes in my life. It has meant:

I have set up my own one-man consulting company rather than chasing the corporate dream that never seemed to fulfil me with each climb up the ladder. This gives me an increased sense of flexibility, empowerment, and freedom in my work.

Because I’ve spent less on stuff, I have been able to travel more for fun in the past two years than at any other time in my life (and the more amazing places I travel to the more I want to travel).

I have realized that life can be rich and full of small pleasures without having to spend lots or buy more. For example, I love taking early morning, long walks before dawn breaks and then coming back to a make some freshly brewed coffee.

I feel like I have more time to do what I want to do and to spend with the people I want to spend time with. (In reality, I have the same amount of time available to me but have been more selective in how I fill my time and what I say yes to.)

For you, the list will of course look very different depending on your own circumstances and goals. However, a commitment to banishing the “more is better” mindset will, I’m sure, improve the quality of your own life in equally significant ways.

Eliminate the Excess

Eliminating the excess means living a life that can be slightly unconventional by modern standards.

Perhaps we don’t change to the latest smartphone every other week.

Perhaps we don’t fill our homes with clutter.

Perhaps we don’t check our email obsessively.

Perhaps we focus on and are grateful for what we do have rather than on what we don’t.

Perhaps we think more carefully about clothes we purchase going for quality over quantity (or indeed have a very simple wardrobe of a few clothes we enjoy).

Perhaps we intentionally create space in our diaries and life so you can breathe a little and enjoy the moment.

Making changes is not necessarily easy initially. We are so programmed to think a certain way that making changes can involve a significant shift in thinking. However, what we get back by eliminating these false wants and needs makes any initial effort more than worthwhile. It can literally transform our lives for the better. It can mean:
- More free time to do what we want to do (hobbies, passions, etc.)
- More quality time with those we care about
- Less stress
- Less spending
- Ironically, more quality possessions that we truly enjoy and give us value
- More savings (for holidays and other things you enjoy doing)
- Less pressure to keep up with those around us
Now ask yourself, what is stopping you trying to find your own path to less and forever banishing the more is better mindset?
October 14, 2009