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Posts tagged with “wisdom”

6 Ways to Free Yourself from Social Anxiety and Shyness

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“Don’t hide yourself. Stand up, keep your head high, and show them what you got!” ~ Joe Mari Fadrigalan

Do you struggle with social anxiety or shyness?

Is this anxiety affecting multiple areas of your life?

Are you yearning to break free from feeling isolated?

Like many people, I was shy as a kid. But I wasn’t just shy—I was painfully shy. I would avoid social situations like the plague. And I barely spoke because I stuttered.

My shyness followed me well into adulthood. I stayed away from social situations, fearing the embarrassment of stumbling in my speech. …

Choose to Forgive and Grow from Your Pain, Because You Deserve to Be Happy

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“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” ~Walter Anderson

“Are you really okay?” I lost count of how many times my immediate family and friends asked me this question.

My positive, light-hearted attitude seemed to be difficult for people to comprehend, but for me it was the only option and means for survival.

I remember the …

You Don’t Need Anyone’s Permission to Do What You Want to Do

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“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~Steve Jobs

Two weeks ago, I pulled a muscle in my back. It was really scary in the moment, and initially I thought I was much more badly hurt—though it ended up healing miraculously quickly, after a couple days of intense pain and a couple more of …

How a Pause Can Help You Say No and Avoid Regret

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“No is a full sentence.” – Unknown

I like to help. I like to be kind. I like to join in.

Usually, these things happen as a result of saying yes. Generally it makes me feel good inside. Better about myself.

But what happens when helping, kindness, and joining in ends up being a burden with too many negative repercussions? Do we continue on the same path? Should we continue to say yes?

Throughout my life, I have had a good relationship with the word yes. Yes has led me to unexpected, beautiful, memorable experiences. Yes has brought …

How to Maintain Peace and Joy Despite Your Everyday Struggles

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“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” ~Deepak Chopra

For years I allowed everyday struggles, like slight disturbances from schedule, to steal my happiness, peace, and energy. Whenever something disrupted my plan, I got negative and started complaining.

When I realized this, I began taking steps to accept the daily chaos. I shifted my focus to how I percieve my daily life and how I spend the twenty-four hours I get.

I started asking questions, like: Am I being positive? Am I spending my hours in a way that’s productive yet joyful?

And I began …

How to Heal from Buried Pain: You Must Go Through It

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“Two roads diverged in a wood and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” ~Robert Frost

When I was a child my friends and I often played a game called “Going on a Bear Hunt.” Each of the verses told of a different challenge, but offered the same advice—that you must go through it. One of the verses went like this:

“We’re goin’ on a bear hunt. We’re going to catch a big one. I’m not scared. What a beautiful day! Uh-uh! A cave! A narrow gloomy cave. We can’t go over it. …

When Your Mind Feels Like a Prison and You Zone Out to Escape

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“All the suffering, stress, and addiction comes from not realizing you already are what you are looking for.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I’m currently obsessed with Orange is the New Black. As a binge TV watcher, I find dramas at least three seasons long and watch them like a prisoner eating a box of contraband donuts. I’m glued to the iPad in every spare moment, while I cook, exercise, or eat.

Then it’s over. And all I have left are wasted hours and a tidal wave of guilt. I always make the same promise to myself—no more binge watching.

I punish …

What to Do When Things Go Wrong and You Feel Sorry for Yourself

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“We can always choose to perceive things differently. We can focus on what’s wrong in our life, or we can focus on what’s right.” ~Marianne Williamson

I was down in the dumps the other day and was feeling sorry for myself.

For some reason everything was just off. You know when you have one of those days when nothing seems to go right? And you get easily irritated and extra sensitive with everything?

It all began the night before. I was expecting a call from a guy who I’ve been getting to know. He said he was going to call …

How to Keep Your Spirits Up When You’re Bombarded With Negativity All Day

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“In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” ~Tony Robbins

Do you ever have to deal with negative people?

Do you ever have days where everybody seems to want to bark at you all day long?

Under those circumstances, you struggle to keep your spirits up, don’t you?

Well, I know the feeling—all too well, unfortunately.

Years ago, I worked in a collection department for an insurance company collecting the unpaid debts …

Lashing Out is Losing Control; Calmness Is Strength and Power

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“Self-control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power.” ~James Allen

I would like to share something personal with you. It’s the story of how I first glimpsed what true strength and power is and where they come from. I hope this story helps to further illuminate your journey through life.

I remember one day when I was in the back seat of my parents’ car. I was probably about thirteen years old. We were parked in a hotel driveway, waiting, though I can’t recall why.

After a few minutes, another car pulled up behind ours and the driver …

If It’s Hard to Say Goodbye, Your Life’s Been Truly Blessed

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“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” ~Unknown

On the evening of my high school graduation it hit me—the familiar faces and places I’d grown so accustomed to over the last twelve years would soon be changing.

The anxiety of that reality had started to creep into my psyche weeks ago, when I was being fitted for my cap and gown. Standing there looking in the mirror, I remember thinking to myself, “How did I get here?”

Somehow I had gone from a seven-year-old schoolboy to an eighteen-year-old teenager, and I …

Help Instead of Judging; They May Be Blinded by Pain

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“We can judge others or we can love others, but we can’t do both at the same time.” ~Unknown

When I was eighteen, my father took his own life. I was just a baby, really, a mere freshman working on my Bachelors Degree at UMF.

There are times when I feel lost in the pain of missing him, stuck with this empty hole inside. Hovering in between confusion and anger, where the feelings consume me.

Losing my father in such a traumatic way has shown me just how deeply I can feel, how hard I can fall, how grief …

Family Is…

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Stop Trying to Fit In and Start Embracing Your True Self

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“Don’t change so people will like you; be yourself and the right people will love you.” ~Unknown

I’ve always felt the pressure to fit in. There’s always been a gap between what I want to be and what I think the world thinks I should be.

I was a tomboy growing up. I climbed trees when other girls played with dolls, I played soccer in my teenage years when other girls wore dresses and went to parties, and even as an adult I preferred to watch the Saturday afternoon game rather than go shopping.

But the pressure to fit in…

How Obsessing About Your Body Gets in the Way of What Matters

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“Focus on what you want your life to look like—not just your body.” ~Sarah Failla

Growing up I never had much concern for the shape or size of my body. Perhaps once in a while the idea of losing weight or beginning an exercise routine crossed my mind, but it was always fleeting and I was quickly back to gossiping with my best friend or writing a note to my boyfriend.

Once I entered college I gained some weight, what with the unlimited access to Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch (something that never, ever crossed the threshold of my childhood home) …

Money Can Buy…

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6 Reasons Why We Can’t Give Up

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“The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on so long.” ~Unknown

I was a serial “giver upper” for so much of my youth.

I tried gymnastics when I was about six until I discovered the teacher smoked. I’m not sure why I had an aversion to smoking at the time, but I can remember frowning and stamping my foot a lot about it.

I tried tap and ballet until I realized that the teacher was some kind of Roald Dahl headmistress. She would thump around the classroom scaring the crap out of us, …

Smile, Breathe, and Go Slowly

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How to Let Go of the Pain of Anger and Blame

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“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” ~Nelson Mandela

Has anger ever filled you up so completely that you felt you’d explode?

Two months after I had a baby I suddenly found myself inextricably angry. Yes, I felt the joy and happy stuff that everyone tells you about.

But having a daughter also triggered a flash flood of buried anger, blame, and resentment. And it was all directed to one person—my mother.

A therapist told me once that my mother had “verbally abused” me. That launched a fifteen-year process of rehashing and blaming my …

Why You Might Feel Like You’re Always the Victim in Relationships

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“Your relationship to yourself is and always will be directly reflected in all your relationships with others.” ~Vironika Tugaleva

Have you ever heard someone say, “I don’t know why this is happening to me?” or, “My ex is really crazy”? I have said myself, “It’s not my fault he’s a jerk.”

It can be so easy to play the victim. Surely some of us are indeed victimized, but being a victim is a whole new ball game. Pointing the finger was an art for me. Thing is, one finger was pointing at you and three were pointing back at …

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