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Posts tagged with “self-care”

The Benefits of Solitude and How to Get the Most from Your Alone Time

ā€œUnderstand that healing and growing can distance you from people who you once had a bond with, and it can also bring you closer to those who will heal and grow with you. The time in between can be difficult, but there is so much to learn in solitude.ā€ ~ @themoontarot

There have been many occasions in my life where Iā€™ve felt lonely. Some of these times I remember as incredibly painful; other times, Iā€™ve relished in my solitude.

During some periods, Iā€™ve even forced myself into seclusion, which comes easily to me as an introvert.

One thing all of …

How to Better Manage Stress So Little Things Donā€™t Set You Off

ā€œItā€™s not stress that kills us, itā€™s our reaction to it.ā€ ~Hans Selye

I was driving home from work, minding my own business, when a car cut in front of me.

Pretty common in Sydney traffic, right? Normally, I would just brush it off.

But not today. For some reason I couldnā€™t explain, that simple event set me off. I got so irritated that I pressed both my hands on the horn and started shouting at the other driverā€”who just gave me the finger and continued on his merry way.

Thatā€™s when I lost it. How dare he do something

10 Easy Responses to Use When People Ask Why You Arenā€™t Drinking

Embracing the holidayĀ season can sometimes mean embracing alcohol with gustoā€¦ or not. Fortunately for those who choose the former, “Dry January” has caught on over the years and itā€™s a fantastic concept. Going through a refresh is a perfect way to rid the toxins and melt the bloat away.

Iā€™d like to throw out a radical idea, or should I say a radical self-careĀ opportunity!

How would your holidays feel without alcohol?

You might gasp looking for a chair to sit down as you frantically wonder how on earth you would get through the parties, relatives, house guests, and …

Ending My Toxic Relationship with My Mother Was an Act of Self-Love

ā€œItā€™s okay to let go of those who couldnā€™t love you. Those who didnā€™t know how to. Those who failed to even try. Itā€™s okay to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love instead. Youā€™re outgrowing them because youā€™re growing into you. And thatā€™s more than okay, thatā€™s something to celebrate.ā€ ~Angelica Moone

I was taught to love my family and to just accept the love they give. With the passage of time and the dawning of maturity, I began to doubt this kind of unquestioning love. The chronic emotional and mental stress …

Why I Despised My Skin Color & 5 Strategies That Improved My Self-Image

ā€œBeauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.ā€ ~Coco Chanel

I believed I was ugly and blamed it on my dark skin. I hated my skin color. Looking back, I realized itā€™s because I didnā€™t fit in with the white kids, nor did I fit in with the black kids.

I am mixed race. I have a black father and a white mother. Until I started school, I never considered myself different. My family and I were close, and I felt love and acceptance.

When I started second grade, I developed a crush on a boy, who never noticed …

Feeling Burnt Out? Meet Toxic Productivity & Grind Culture with Rest

ā€œCaring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.ā€ ~Audre Lorde

When you hear the word ā€œproductive,ā€ you likely think of something positive: busting through that work assignment, making your house sparkly clean, or crushing your hobby.

Productivity is what we all aim for, right? On workdays and even on our days off, we seek to make something happen.

Grinding and hustling are seen as admirable, and something to work toward, always.

If we fall short, we beat ourselves up, and sometimes even drag ourselves off the couch to force …

How I Overcame My Chronic Digestive Issues by Learning to Breathe Right

ā€œIf you know the art of deep breathing, you have the strength, wisdom and courage of ten tigers.ā€ ~Chinese adage

Let me share a little secret: I started healing from decades of debilitating chronic digestive issues when I stopped looking for the next best solution and trying to heal. Instead, I did nothing. And I took a breath.

Let’s start at the beginning. I was diagnosed with Crohnā€™s disease (an irritable bowel disease) at the age of eighteen, which would have marked the beginning of my oh-so-anticipated adult life, but instead, I thought my life was over.

I had every …

How Perfectionism and Anxiety Made Me Sick and What I Wish I Knew Sooner

ā€œPerfectionism is the exhausting state of pretending to know it all and have it all together, all the time. Iā€™d rather be a happy mess than an anxious stress case whoā€™s always trying to hide my flaws and mistakes.ā€ ~Lori DescheneĀ 

ā€œThatā€™s not how you do it!ā€ I slammed the door as I headed outside, making sure my husband understood what an idiot he was. Heā€™d made the appalling mistake of roasting potatoes for Thanksgiving instead of making stuffing.

He was cooking while I studied, trying to make sure I got a semblance of a holiday. We lived away from …

When Itā€™s Time to Stop Helping Others and Help Ourselves

By

“Do your best and be okay with that.” ~Ursula Wharton

Late one evening I was doing some work at the last minute when my phone buzzed with a text from Alex, my neighbor’s boyfriend. He said he was rushing over and then I saw, “Chris is trying to kill herself. You gotta get in there and stop her.”

I felt sick to my stomach. I stood up too fast from my chair and dropped my phone onto the ugly grey carpet beneath my bare feet. I rushed to Chris’s apartment, which was right next to mine.

Thankfully, the door was …

The Simplest Ways to Find Calm in the Middle of Lifeā€™s Constant Chaos

ā€œWhen you are resting because you are worn out, you need to remember that you are not wasting time. You are doing exactly what you need to do. You are recovering.ā€ ~Unknown

I woke up at 3am when I heard my alarm ring. I slowly pulled my arm away from my son, who was half holding my arm and half lying on it, so that he didnā€™t wake up. I tip-toed out of bed while my husband and my son were sleeping.

My eyes ached and were blurry from sleep deprivation. My head felt like I was floating in …

How I Broke My Stress Eating Habit When Nothing Else Worked

ā€œThe pain seems so much more difficult than the cookies. But itā€™s not. The pain covered in cookies becomes pain covered in fat covered in more pain.ā€ ~Brooke Castillo

Do you ever eat when you’re stressed, sad, tired, alone?

Bag of chips after a hard day?

Ordering the take-out when your partnerā€™s away?

I did.

Seven years ago, my newborn baby cried every evening.

I’d feed her, change her, and blow raspberries on her neck. Still, she screamedā€”like a smoke alarm you couldn’t stop.

I tried singing to her, burping her, begging her…

I felt useless, desperate.

In my journalism

Start Your Day Right with the Magic Morning Mindset

ā€œWhat nine months of attention does for an embryo forty early mornings alone will do for your gradually growing wholeness.ā€ ~Rumi

We would likely all agree that manicures, baths, and cozy movie nights on the couch all fall under the umbrella of self-care. But I believe that itā€™s timeā€”actually, beyond timeā€”to go deeper and re-claim what self-care truly means. Itā€™s also time to see self-care as imperative, and to move it from the lonely bottom of our to-do list and plant it firmly at the very top.

For me, self-care has become my fuel and my fire. When I claim …

How I’ve Eased My Anxiety by Being More Present: 4 Practices to Try

ā€œBreathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.ā€ ~Oprah Winfrey

In 2012, during my community college years, I began to experience mild anxiety.

I assume it was the stress and fear that came with maintaining a good GPA in hope of transferring to a well-known university, alongside deciding what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Or perhaps it was because of the time I knew Iā€™d wasted slacking in high school to fit in with what I was surrounded by and to …

How to Increase Your Sense of Control and Boost Your Resilience

ā€œYou may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats,Ā so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can stillĀ come out of it.ā€ ~Maya Angelou

When I look back, I am amazed at how differently I dealt with adversity the first few decades of my life.

Growing up in a stressful home primed me to experience life with caution. Whether it was being afraid of physical harm, loneliness, or failure, Iā€™ve lived my life with an exaggerated fight-flight response to everything. Adversity …

3 Questions Every People-Pleaser Should Ask Before Making a Decision

ā€œThe one thing you learn is when you can step out of your comfort zone and be uncomfortable, you see what you’re made of and who you are.ā€ ~Sue Bird

I am a recovering people-pleaser.

I grew up in a hardworking, blue-collar house, nestled in a humble, rural, blue-collar town. I was instructed, both consciously and unconsciously, on how to fit in and play my part.

My entire decision-making process revolved around what I was supposed to do, how my actions made others feel, and the impact I would have on the status-quo. I became a teacher because that …

Self-Care Isn’t Just…

How I Get Through Hard Times Using Curiosity, Compassion, and Challenge

ā€œSometimes the worst things that happen in our lives put us on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.ā€ ~Unknown

Until I was thirty-seven, I thought Iā€™d led a pretty charmed life: I had a supportive family and good friends, Iā€™d done well academically, always got the jobs Iā€™d applied for, and met and married the perfect man for me.

In 2013, when I was thirty-five weeks pregnant with my second child, I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. My baby was induced at thirty-seven weeks, and my chemo started ten days later. In …

Why Your Anger Is the Key to Maintaining Your Boundaries

ā€œBoundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom.ā€ ~Henry Cloud

Late last night, I once again found myself unable to sleep, and boy was I angry. So, in order not to disturb my other half, who is always asleep the moment his head touches the pillow, I dragged myself off to the sofa. Once there, sat seething in the dark, I listened to my …

How Beating Cancer Helped Me Stop Being a People-Pleaser

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chadron

The hardest part of hearing the words, ā€œIā€™m sorry, but you have cancerā€ at the age of thirty was knowing I had to tell my mother and my husband.

Why?

Not because I was afraid of their reaction, although it would be especially heightened since my father had died of cancer three years prior, but because I was going to take on a role I had never experienced before: a patient.

For me, being a patient equaled being dependent. Someone who was needy and …

Why Rest is the Ultimate Protective Gear in a Busy, Chaotic World

ā€œThe time to relax is when you donā€™t have time for it.ā€ ~Sydney J. Harris

No matter what airline you fly, there are safety instructions at the start of every flight that the flight crew goes over with everyone on the plane.

The important ones are also listed out on a card or brochure located in the seat back pocket in front of you. Besides letting you know where the exits are, there is always some version of the following statement: ā€œIn the event of a change in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically drop from the ceiling. Put your …