Dear Anita,

First of All, Thanks a lot! I’m impressed with how much you’re analyzing and trying to connect the dots. I highly appreciate it.

Insecure-avoidant attachment

Yes I think you’re right so I think it’s time for me to IRL again? NGL it’s been a while so… I’m not a shy person as I used to be. (At least that’s what I think) But here’s the thing about my LDRs and IRLs I haven’t approached a girl first… Even Once
So like I’d have to make the first move for like really the First time

being in long-distance relationships with women who never met you is a way to avoid being given the opposite of physical compliments: physical criticisms and perhaps insults.

Hmm I think you’re right

Sometimes you turn your inner criticism outward: criticizing your LDR girlfriend. The so called Inner Critic often turns into an Outer Critic, and back and forth. The two critics are like two sides of the same coin.

I agree.  So How should I start working on that?

Do you carry anger within you, for sacrificing and not asking for anything?

No. Not at all. I’m actually grateful for what they gave me.

do you pay a heavy price for being really calm and friendly: suppressing anger perhaps, or suffering extra anxiety?

Okay so this? I’m not sure about this. How should I figure this out?

Because for a while I’m considering myself Calm and friendly person. So It’s like just a mirror image of my thoughts?

You’d like to share about your irl relationship experience, please do.

Hmm I think it was very exciting. The Talking, Hand in Hand and the physical intimacy. It’s just good. You can’t get that feeling in texting. Hands down. Another is that it happened when I wasn’t mature as I am now. I was always on the edge it was really easy to make me angry that time so if something happens, we are fighting and not talking for days, and I was crazy stubborn (I still am a lil) Even at that time they be asking to be commitment and I wasn’t ready for that at all so Yeah commitment issues as well

And no I’m not afraid of IRL. I had IRL and I enjoyed it quite a lot

Dear Anita:
So, my previous LDR lasted more than 3 years. Really tested my patience. haven’t met in person. and not even video called once (funny I know) I felt like I wasted so much time and for what?
I’m an Aries-INFJ so I’m someone who prefers action yet still I waited that much long…and it took me more than a year to heal from that

Now this LDR, it’s been only two months. We didn’t meet in person Yet. She’s nice and mature but she is somewhat an anxious person. like whatever I suggest she be like it’s easy to tell, hard to do. even though I tried being patience she’s just doesn’t want to get out of her comfort zone. She didn’t even tell her parents about her moving plans or that she wants to study in Europe. I’m like when you planning to tell them.
It’s me I’m impatience and I’m kind of scared too because I don’t want to waste my time and emotions

Dear Anita!
Good morning to you 🌞
Hope you’re doing well

I understood that clearly. Thanks for such a simple and clear wisdom. I highly appreciate it.
Have a good day and don’t forget to smile :))

Dear Anita:

Diverse? Yeah I took lot responsibilities in single roles so yeah, I guess so. Impressive?? idk because I guess others could’ve done the same

Dear Anita:

Let me give you some examples:

Today in my interview Recruiter told me I’m really calm and friendly person (Somehow, I was able to accept this compliment – because I started to believe that long ago?)
But, When he said you have quite diverse and impressive work experience (I was like ooohkkyy)

I don’t think that’s just to be polite is it?

Also, when some gives me any physical compliment, I can’t accept without doubting or questioning myself. Although while another part of my brain thinking like does this really matter? NOPE. most of the time

Dear Anita,

Well how silly of me I didn’t even knew the 2nd page is created, just today I noticed 😂
How are you doing? Good plans for the weekend? Things that you love during your weekends?

About that yes! I do have that critical negative voice. but I’d say it’s dynamic because there is voice which makes me relax and resilient about things as well. As a child I’ve been like that who Always listened to my parents and Grandparents and someone who is not very demanding. I’ve sacrificed for lot of things and never asked for it. Although somehow, I knew it wouldn’t help me fulfil my emotional needs.
But don’t you think I striving for being better is a good thing? Now I do kind of feel that I’m good enough (Not sure though) But I do like to make myself better than the last day
So that’s why “child gets anxious and feels overwhelmed by being rushed this way” Interesting….

PS Have a great weekend ahead

Addy