Anita,

I understand. He said that he gets scared when something new comes along because of his past.  He says sometimes he stays to himself and gets lost on his computer etc.  we are alike in that way.

Could there be a rational reason for not responding? Am I reading too much and thinking the worst? Rationally you don’t go from normal one day to something else the next right?

lindsey

Anita,

Yesterday at 6 I asked K a question and never heard back.  He always texts me at night before bed. At midnight I sent a hey text. Never heard back. This has never happened before.  I deleted our conversations bc I felt slightly pathetic. We are supposed to hang out this evening. Now I’m going to be waiting all day wondering what’s the deal and worried.  This really really sucks. I don’t understand.

Lindsey

Anita,

that makes me feel awful, like really awful. Like everything  that is good in my life goes away. Every time. And I don’t think I should be getting this upset.   I hate feeling like this after I sent a Snapchat to him hours ago and he hasn’t replied.  But he was texting me st midnight last night so why am I getting so upset?

Lindsey

Anita,

I sent a short response that I was worried about his expectations but realized there is no rush moving forward.  He sent back of course no expectations, just wants to talk and have a good time.

An example of turning a hill into a mountain so to speak.  Need to work on that.

I’ve honestly never spent time with a man who was not in a hurry to move things forward and who seemed interested in talking and getting to know me really well.  I’m not quite sure how to take all of this.  He mentioned it takes him awhile to make any type of move-he’s chicken so to speak.

Lindsey

Anita,

the good news is I don’t initiate texting and I don’t send too many texts. I let him take the lead.  The therapist went on vacation so I don’t see her again until june 4th but will definitely address.  Maybe a bit of increased anxiety in the last 2 days is because we r going to move past friendship and acknowledged our feelings to each other. I will see him on Sunday.  I just really want to get a handle on this.

lindsey

Anita,

The dog stayed with my ex.  Shelby would bark and I was nervous just dealing with K being over.  Sunday night went really well.  We watched a movie and then talked for like 2 hours.  Yesterday I went to his house and grilled with him and his roommate again.  I really like him.  After I left and went home we started texting.  I admitted I liked him.  We texted for quite a while off and on.  I think we are going to take the next step past friendship.   He admitted to liking me but has a wall up.  We are both nervous to take that next step.  He invited me over Sunday.  I feel really nervous.

Lindsey

Anita,

It’s been a rough morning.  Had to drive my car to the shop and hoping it’s not too expensive for repairs.  We think it is a leaky hose in the radiator.  Yesterday afternoon I had sent a text to K because the day before he made a comment of how he hated the person he used to be.  My text was hey you shouldn’t feel that way about yourself but I was also wondering what did this guy do?

Well.  He sent 2 long texts and I’m confused.  I’m summarizing here but he said people close to him in the past tried to change him and he removed himself from that life.  It bothers him everyday and he doesn’t let anyone in that hasn’t known him from the beginning because they don’t understand why he is the way he is and they end up not speaking to him anymore or telling him to change. (this being ex-girlfriends) He is scared when something new comes along b/c of his past.   Also he is very selective over who he lets close to him.

This just came pouring out and I don’t really know how to answer him.  I did ask if I’m something new and he said yes but not along the line of a girlfriend as he was referring to past girlfriends.  I did mention 1 or 2 things I’m struggling with but didn’t get specific.  I’m not really sure what he is trying to tell me.   He texted me in the evening as usual.

Lindsey

Anita,

While I am enjoying time spent with K., the more I notice that I worry and get anxious about little things.  For example if I don’t hear from him all day I will reread texts.  I will start to think does he like me, is he going to make some type of move? This morning I’ve suddenly started worrying if he still even likes me.  These worries seem very petty but are troublesome.

Is this anxiety?  Is it also worry/anxiety about a possible friendship that grows closer?  I really want these thoughts to stop because I don’t think they are rational.  As I was writing this K messaged me at work.

Lindsey