Anita,

No psychotherapy that I know of.  There is some type of backstory with the daughter and the mom not allowing him to see her but he pays child support.

I feel awful and don’t know what to do.  Whenever he gets these quiet days where he doesn’t talk much I take it personally and when I reach out I feel worse after.  I don’t know what to do

Lindsey

Anita,

I woke up this morning and almost texted K that I did not want to be friends anymore.  I’m kind of at the end of my rope emotionally.   The days where he barely talks ( about once a week) makes me literally feel like I’m going crazy.   I also am starting to have doubts of more than a friendship will happen based on his maturity level as I get to know him more.  I think that’s also contributing to the anxiety I am feeling.

Is there a way I can provide myself reassurance?  That seems to be the reason for a lot of my anxiety.  I am not in a position right now to discuss my anxiety with him.  I would rather eat dirt that try to explain to him or ask him for reassurance at this point.

Lindsey

Anita,

I ended up going home. My anxiety was going crazy.  I feel like I need some type of reassurance because he seemed quiet today.

I feel like I’m not doing as well as I should. Realistically someone is not going to hang out with you and the next day decide they don’t like you. Please help.

Lindsey

Anita,

I sent a work message to K 10 minutes ago and no response.  I hate this.  This is not fun.  I do not understand.

Lindsey

Anita,

You are right.  Trying to remember the closeness principal you mentioned in an earlier post from an old therapist.  I think sometimes when we hang out I will feel closer to him than other times.

Also trying to relax and remember that bringing anxiety into the mix with K only makes things worse, not better.

Lindsey

Anita,

Plans for the weekend regarding my mother is I’m going to spend time with her and the kids on Sunday.  I’m not going to join her, my ex, and the kids on Friday or Saturday.  It’s best for me to be around him as little as possible.  It also can set me off seeing my mother and him interact as I do not agree with how she handles their relationship.

I feel a little lost at sea.  K came over last night and watched a movie.  It was late, he came over after playing volleyball.  He was a little tipsy which is fine but I did notice his personality change a little.  He seemed to have a little bit more…..of a smart mouth if that makes sense.  Not disrespectful to me.  I felt like he would walk closer or step closer to me a few times which is not a bad thing I was just not sure how to handle it.  He was falling asleep on the couch and so was I so I said if he wanted to stay over he could & sleep on the couch.  Then I said well, you could sleep in the bed b/c the couch is really uncomfortable but I don’t really think that would be a smart idea.  He ended up leaving and driving home and I just feel…disconnected maybe? It’s hard to explain.

Lindsey

Anita,

You are right.

K just texted me saying he is sick and not coming into work.  He did say last night “I feel like death and haven’t moved off the couch all day.”  So maybe one more chance?  Then add the rule.   And yes he is quite young I trying to stay open and stress free about the situation with him in general.

Lindsey