Anita,

Yes we do.  Here is the problem.  I like him and I’m pretty sure he likes me too.  And I feel conflicted.  Because dating coworkers of course can cause issues but I feel like that might be the course we are headed on.  He’s not backing off, because he said “maybe, maybe not.” But he is also not in a hurry and neither am I at this point.

Lindsey

Anita,

I hope you had a good weekend.  Mine was very peaceful.  I spent time with myself until Sunday and then I took the kids to lunch and to the pet store.  My ex is sending me a contract rough draft he has been working on this week and I’m going to review it.  We have not set up a meeting with a mediator yet.

I am still talking with K.  It is going very well I enjoy our friendship very much.  Other than that things are normal which is a good thing.

Lindsey

Anita,

Do you think it is a mistake being his friend?  I’ve never been friends with someone  I was also interested in.  I just want to make sure I’m doing the best thing for myself.

Lindsey

Anita,

OK I will check out the book.  Yes I have hard of CBT.  I will try the exercise.

1. My distortion is K is mad at me for my texting yesterday.  He did not respond to my text today.  what if he never texts?

2. My correct thinking is he is not mad and he told  me so last night.  He may have read my text of a funny video but just didn’t reply-maybe he didn’t think it was that funny.  Maybe he is not in a good mood and trying to work and not talk to anyone.  He will contact me again.

After reading the corrections I realize I had anxiety about last night sense I woke up.  I think I sent that funny video today via text because of my anxiety.  I was reaching out.  I need to work on that fact that people may take things the wrong way or there may be a disagreement but that does not mean I will lose that person or that they will just go away and I will never hear from them again.

Lindsey

Anita,

My anxiety is there, it’s like a fog I can see it from far away and is coming closer but it’s getting thinner.  I’m trying to not allow negative thoughts to enter my brain.  They come and go.  There is what I am trying to rationally stay at in my head. 1. he is not upset with me and will talk with me again.  2. He does not have to respond right away or at all to a funny video sent.  3. He’s working he’s busy.  Lots of times people are quiet b/c they have their own things going on-it’s not all about my anxiety.

Lindsey

Anita,

I know, thank you.  It’s pretty downhill quick once that anxiety kicks in.  Have a good Wednesday.

Lindsey

Anita,

I’m definitely starting to get my own routine and my anxiety is low.  I’m going to hang out with an old friend this weekend that I have not seen in awhile.  She is my age and lives in a town about an hour away.  There are events this weekend in our town so I think we will have fun.

Regarding K.  We were talking earlier and I said that I was glad we were friends and that I would never push for more because we have both had some bad luck in the past.  (He mentioned some issues with another ex girlfriend.)  He said he was glad I understood because he could not see himself in a relationship right now.

I’m aware I’m not ready for a relationship but I feel a little annoyed when I think about how he worded it.  Almost like I was pursuing more when really I was not.  I don’t know maybe I am reading more into it.

Lindsey

Anita,

I know.  I’ve known.  I just momentarily get my hopes up and then they of course come crashing down.  And then I feel bad about myself.  Which I shouldn’t but I do anyway.

Lindsey