Anita,

He did good.  Listened and said sorry I had to go through all of that, made some jokes to lighten up the mood a bit.  I feel like he was able to help me kind of move on from the situation a bit.  Then he started talking about us.

Ok so basically this is how he is laying things out.  He wants a physical relationship-he likes me-but he sucks at dating.  And we are going back and forth about what we are looking for.  And basically this situation is not easy to just jump right in.

In reality, we would sleep together pretty quickly I know.  The weird thing about this entire situation and we have become friends for about 3 months at least and shared many things in conversations.  In a sense we have been dating on a platonic level.

My concerns 1. him going silent for 2 weeks at a time.  2. my anxiety increasing if we sleep together (which isn’t happening soon just saying) 3.  Him being so bad a dating?  Need to know more about that.

Lindsey

Anita,

Something is up with the internet.  I got a response to my first snap saying he would with a 20 minute delay.  The 2nd snap saying “it was important”  response from him is still pending receipt.

Lindsey

Anita,

Ok.  He is snapchating a response now.  I will reword my thoughts.

Lindsey

Anita,

Ok.  It’s been 2 weeks and he’s starting to talk more again.  I sent him a message to text me later to tell him about it, waiting for reply on snapchat.  Will keep you posted.

Lindsey

Anita,

I’m not sure where to start.  The trip went very well. I got to see family and my parents and I got along great.  The kids had a blast.  But yesterday on the flight home, Ella started looking at the pictures on her new I Pad my mom had gotten her.  Well my ex used his I cloud account to set up her and my son’s I Pad’s.  Well all his personal cell phone photos were on the kid’s I Pads and there were naked pictures of a woman on there that he is seeing.

I was and still am hurt by this even though we are separated and I don’t love him; it still hurt.  I took photos of the naked pictures and have them on my phone.  I told him to get rid of the photos so the kids don’t see them.  I then found he had gone into my apartment and taken photos of pages of my journal I had a few months ago that my counselor has asked me to keep.  There are a few pages of me describing my daily anxiety and struggles, it mentions K.  So I deleted those photos and called him to get my key back. He has the key for the dog to let in and out during the day.  He then turned things around on me saying my mom knew he was dating this girl (she claims no) and that he took those photos because he was worried about me when I first moved out as was my mother and everyone else in the family.

So then I got into an argument with my mother about boundaries.  She thinks it is ok to hang out with him if he has the kids so she can see them.  And again I told her no-my ex uses that against me to manipulate things.  I do not know if she will do what I ask in the future but she said she would.

This is all very hard Anita.  Really, really hard.  I’ve spoken briefly with K. but just a hi how is it going.  I’m embarrassed to say anything to him.  I don’t know that I would.  There is no way I can date anyone right now.  I feel like hiding.

Lindsey

Anita,

Thank you.  This stuff is just really, really hard.

Lindsey

Anita,

So something funny happened and I texted both my good friend B and K.  It’s been over an hour and K never responded.  My friend B told me to stop, I’m coming off desperate.  I’m crying at my desk right now because the harsh truth is he’s right.  So I deleted K’s messages and I’m not going to text him again.  I feel really awful because this is it; I cannot be a friend or anything to him anymore.  It’s harmful to me.  I feel really bad right now.

Lindsey