Anita,

I found a condo Saturday and bought it.  Doing all the fun paperwork and getting everything set up.  Making a “To Do List”  Closing date is March 10th so I will move in after that.  I feel a bit lost at sea.  I need your guidance.

Saturday night I was falling asleep and got a text from my ex husband saying he had met someone 2 months ago and this woman had come over and met the kids that evening.   Instead of saying something to me beforehand, I get this text.  I told him I was not happy with how he handled the situation on Sunday when I went to pick up the kids.   He failed to keep his pick up time and I dropped the kids off at the restaurant he and his girlfriend were at.  I had somewhere to be at 3:15 and we had agreed I would drop the children off at his house at 3pm.  It was a very awkward meeting and now I wish I had just kept them at home until he got home from his date.

It has been up and down for me since trying to process this information.  I feel that it is inappropriate for him to have the children meet someone so soon.  I would never have my kids meet someone unless I was in a very serious relationship.  I don’t even want to date right now! I feel what he has done is selfish…maybe on purpose?  We have been arguing.  I’m hearing the classic “I’m a changed person now Lindsey.  I’ve meet someone that doesn’t treat me like garbage. I’ve worked out my issues.”

This woman seems like a nice person but who knows someone after 2 months? She is divorced with a 9 year old son.  They were introduced by friends at work.

I just feel protective of myself.  I don’t want to be around people.  What exactly is he discussing with her about me and my private things?   I had a feeling this would happen, him meeting someone quickly and getting into a relationship/possibly married again very quickly.  But he is abusive Anita and I have to sit back and just watch things unfold.  What if they start arguing a bunch in front of the kids?  I worry for my children.  I don’t want them around someone I don’t know.  The girlfriend will become his primary focus.

Lindsey

Anita,

yes, yes Ok.  I agree.  I’m staying on track.  Should I block the number?

Lindsey

Anita,

I’m not sure.  I mean yes I do.  I really want to see all my family and my dad’s dog.  It will be peaceful I think.  She is trying in her own way…somewhat.  She wants me to visit.  She is like her father they do not know how to show their affection.

Lindsey

Anita,

So my dog Shelby is a mini dachshund.  She is 11.  I noticed her walking slower about 4-5 months ago and then she just slowly declined from there.  About 3 months ago we started different medications and nothing helped.  My vet thinks there is a pinched nerve on her L5-S1 area causing a major loss in neurological functioning.  She is not in pain and gets around mostly still with a bit of use in her back legs and goes to the bathroom with no problem.  I can’t afford surgery or injections.  (surgery may not even work and injections are costly and last a few months at best.)

So I have a wheelchair that she doesn’t want to use lol.  I’m waiting until it’s warmer to take her outside and work with her on it.  I’m also going to take her to the vet with it.  Right now it’s so cold we are kind of in limbo with it.

So the guy J.  I agree with everything you are saying.  Honestly, he’s asked me twice to visit and I’ve said no.  My anxiety prevents me from saying yes right know even if I wanted to say yes.  And honestly I’m not at a point where I would say yes.  I don’t even know this person; talking online or on social media doesn’t really allow you to get to know someone.  I think it allows that person to let you see what they want you to see.

Lindsey

Anita,

Yes, be careful on the roads!  I’ll try and check in with you tomorrow.  I’ll be working but I think it will be pretty slow.

Lindsey

Anita,

Hope you had a Merry Christmas.  Ours was good but went by way too quickly.  The kids had a very good time filled with lots of toys lol.  It was ok being with the ex, I would say tolerable.  I did notice a bit of anxiety a few days before Christmas and a panic attack one of the evenings, I’d say maybe on the 22nd? I can’t remember.  Not sure where that came from but no more after the 22nd.

So far things are ok.  Work is steady and my mood is steady for the most part.  Seeing my counselor next week.

Talk soon,

Lindsey

Anita!

I am well and hope you are too.  Today consisted of a long walk and buying an aloe plant. Thinking of getting one for my boss for Christmas; I really  like this plant. It’s the little things I guess lol.  Making some salads for lunch this week and planning for Wednesday at work.  Our section is having a Christmas food day and I’m bringing in deserts.

After that odd and troubling thing with K I retreated a bit and the slowly made my way back.  I avoid him and he sat his plant I bought him on a coworkers desk who brought  it to me and was like what the hell.  So I just took it back and have more plants lol.   I’ve definitely moved on and learned some lessons.  Work is very busy just focused on that and the kids.  I may have found a townhouse over the weekend I’ll keep you posted.

The yoga and goats was awesome if I didn’t tell you.  Talk soon,

Lindsey

Anita,

Feeling back to square one.  All the negative things that come with my anxiety back. Because I never seem to learn. Same mistakes over and over again.  So old.
I am not able to avoid doing  destructive things. I’m hit over the head with not a good idea but I do it anyway because I’m desperate for male affection.

Changing all my routes at work. Not walking around.  Not leaving desk. Wearing headphones.

Lindsey