What Is Not Okay

Marriage is okay. Honoring your vows (for better and for worse, fidelity, as long as you both should live) and trying to make it work is okay. Thinking about the impact of divorce on your kids (and your partner) is okay. Taking your time when you’re dating to make sure that you’re sure and you grasp the enormity of the vows you will be taking before you get married is okay (it’s more than romance, the dress and the big party). Respecting the institution of marriage is okay (it’s more than just you, as the Buddha would say). Giving some time to cool off and going to counseling to try to save your marriage is okay. Realizing that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence is okay. Reserving divorce for extreme case such as abuse, addition, criminal behavior, etc., is okay. And if you’ve taken your time to be sure and grasped the enormity of the vows before you got married, tried to honor your vows, you’ve tried to make it work, you’ve gone to counseling, thought about the impact of divorce on your kids and your partner and there still are some extreme situations that will never change, then divorce may be okay. Breaking up may be okay. Starting over may be okay. Moving on may be okay. Saying no is okay. Being alone is okay. I just don’t like the emphasis on this “me culture, divorce culture, give up easy culture” because it also hurts a lot of people in the process and destablizes society.