fbpx
Menu

Category “Blog”

How to Take Responsibility for Your Life and Change What Isn’t Working

By

“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.” ~Lou Holtz

I spent a devastatingly large part of my life trapped, blaming others for my troubles. I felt like I was bumbling around aimlessly and my life was out of my control.

I was working a soul-sucking job, with a huge amount of student debt. I was surrounded by fake, unsupportive friends, in a toxic relationship, and had extremely low self-esteem.

All of this was everyone else’s fault. I didn’t take responsibility for anything in my life that was …

How to Heal a Broken Heart Using Mindful Self-Compassion

By

“It’s not your job to like me—it’s mine.” Byron Katie

Why are breakups so painful? Whether we are the dumper or the dumpee, the range of emotions we feel is universal: devastation, sadness, and anger. Oh, and there’s the acute pain, as if your heart had been gouged from your chest, stabbed a dozen times with a butter knife, and booted to the curb.

Am I right?

Of course I am. I’ve been there. We all have. I intimately experienced a broken heart and its rippling effects when my partner and I ended our seven-year relationship. I admit that I …

Knowing When to Let Go of Relationships: 3 Signs It’s Time to Move On

By

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” ~Deborah Reber

Thanks to the Internet, our lives are full of people. We’re connected literally all the time.

And yet, despite our ceaseless connection, we feel disconnected.

As the pace of life becomes ever more frenetic, we’re like charged atoms, bumping into each other more and more, pinballs in the machine. We come into contact (and conflict), but we don’t commune so much.

As real relationships of depth and quality become harder-won in this busy …

The Secret To A Happy Life Is Hidden In Your Daily Habits

By

“The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.” ~Dodinsky

It hit me as I cruised along at full speed on a busy motorway on my way to a friend’s house.

Shaking like a leaf, I pulled myself out of the car and stood by the side of the road. I desperately gulped in the fresh air, a frantic attempt at calming myself down.

This was the ninth day in a row I’d experienced a wave of panic so intense, it felt like I was about to …

Growing in the Dark: Why “Negative Feelings” Matter

By

“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found.” ~Pema Chodron

Pop spirituality and our cultural attitude would have you think it best to banish negativity from your life. Give it the quarantine treatment until it gets better and can rejoin our polite, positive, placative society.

We are encouraged to cleanse negativity, a blanket descriptor of things that don’t feel good. Push it away with an exhale and inhale positivity. Anger, sadness, and critical thinking can all be forms of “bad vibes” that are sought to be …

5 Steps to Lower Your Financial Stress When You’re Drowning in Debt

By

“You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” ~Timber Hawkeye

I never anticipated the stress and pressure that come when you are no longer able to pay your bills on time.

Knowing that you owe money, and that your current income isn’t going to cover it, is a heavy reality to face.

I found myself starting to envy low-income, salaried employees. Even though they don’t earn a lot, which I’m sure brings its own challenges, they aren’t eligible to receive huge credit. This protects them from ever finding themselves …

3 Steps I Took to Reinvent Myself When I Felt Stuck and Unfulfilled

By

“It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” ~Patrick Rothfuss

Who am I?

I believe this is one of the hardest questions we can ever answer.

I began to ponder this tough question in my early twenties during what I refer to as my “early-life crisis.”

Man, I was stuck. Stuck working in an unfulfilling job. Stuck in ever-growing debt because of my bad habits of drinking and smoking. Stuck feeling anxious and unconfident. I woke up each …

How to Choose Peace When You’re Under Pressure

By

“Let us fill our hearts with our own compassion.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

“Mom’s concentrating,” I tell my kids as I clean up after dinner. I suggest a game to keep them occupied. “How many words start with A?”

As I inspect the crumbs under the kickboard, I pay just enough attention to hear them play along.

“Mom. L!” (I must have drifted off.)

“Right. L is for?” And they’re off again. Be more present, be more present, be more present, I think.

M
N
O
I laugh to myself when we reach P. P is for pressure, that’s what, …

How to Stop Wanting to Be Thinner, Even If You’re Ambitious

By

“How pleasant is the day when we give up striving to be young or slender. ‘Thank God!’ we say, ‘those illusions are gone.’” ~Alain de Botton

Are you high functioning at school, college, or in your career, but dysfunctional with food? I was.

I’ve always been ambitious. I see things, and I wanna do them too, even better!

It’s a powerful trait, but unruly—like living with a big dog. Sometimes it strains on its leash and pulls you along further than you thought you’d go. And sometimes it knocks you onto the carpet and stands over you, panting, with its …

You Don’t Suck at Life: How to Stop Believing Your Inner Bully

By

“You’re too fat to wear that tight shirt to the gym.”

“You’re not smart enough to take the lead on that project at work.”

“You’re definitely going to screw up the vacation plans.”

“You’re not good enough, cool enough, likable enough.” 

“You suck.”

If we talked like this to anyone, it would be considered bullying.

And yet we talk to ourselves like this all the time.

We talk to ourselves in a way we would never talk to people we care about. We take these words to heart and believe them as truth.

We turn these words into …

Lessons from Infertility: What’s Helped Me Cope with Disappointment

By

“When you find no solution to a problem, it’s probably not a problem to be solved, but a truth to be accepted.” ~Unknown

For the longest time, I swore I’d never get married or have kids.

Growing up with an alcoholic father, in a domestic violence situation, shattered my young spirit and left me putting the pieces back together for years.

Since I didn’t see healthy coping skills growing up, it’s no wonder I grappled with my own addictive behaviors. I struggled with self-worth, focusing solely on accomplishments to fill a void inside of myself.

Externally, people saw a well-adjusted, …

Travel Tips for the Anxious Spirit

By

“Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light.” ~Yogi Bhajan

For years, I avoided travel. Just the thought of leaving home made me anxious. I dreaded the crowds, the confusion, and the sense of disconnection from both my daily routine and my spiritual practice.

Over time, I came up with some great reasons not to travel, but I always knew those excuses were keeping me from exploring new places, meeting new people, and living my life to the fullest.

I continued to avoid traveling until family members moved across the country, and then I had no choice. …

Two Types of Boundaries That Can Help You Take Good Care of Yourself

By

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” ~BrenĂ© Brown

Do you have the courage to love yourself and set the boundaries you need?

For years I didn’t, and wondered why my life didn’t work. I didn’t really understand what boundaries were or why I needed them.

My severe lack of boundaries allowed me to give away my energy, time, power, and love to others, leaving virtually nothing for myself.

For years I lived in a perpetual state of lack, feeling like I wasn’t enough. Looking back, it makes sense …

Fellow Dreamers: If You Feel Like a Fool, You’re on the Right Track

By

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” ~Brian Tracy

I’m a fool.

Well, it’s more accurate to say I’ve been a fool often, and I’m ashamed.

My life, no different from many, has had some successes but also many setbacks and outright failures. I suppose this is just another way of saying I’ve lived.

The problem is that I’ve allowed my mistakes, errors, and failures to hold me back.

We’ve all felt like a fool before, but when has doing so made it …

5 Things to Stop Doing When You’re Struggling and Feeling Drained

By

“There is nothing in nature that blooms all year long, so don’t expect yourself to do so either.” ~Unknown

Recently I’ve been spread incredibly thin, and, at times, I’ve felt stressed to the max.

In addition to being at the tail end of a high-risk pregnancy, with complications, I’ve been working toward various new projects—not just for fulfillment but also because I’ve allowed the business side of running this site to slide for years. And I have a baby coming soon. It’s crucial that I revive what I’ve allowed to deflate because I’ll have a whole new life to …

3 Ways to Stop Obsessing and Start Enjoying More of Your Life

By

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” ~Marcus Aurelius

I’ve come to realize that worrying and obsessing don’t help or change anything.

Hold up. Wait a minute!

Let me rephrase that, because worrying and obsessing do change things. They make your life worse. I think pretty much everyone in the world knows this, but how hard do we try to stop doing these things?

What If?

Every day you wake up and you think and obsess and wonder, “What if?”

What if I lose my job? What …

How to Embrace Your Sensitive Superpower and Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

By

“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” – Dalai Lama

Sensitivity can feel like a gift or a burden, depending on our relationship to it.

If you often feel completely overwhelmed by an overload of stimulation, then your sensitivity probably doesn’t feel like an asset. Maybe more like a liability. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

As an introvert and sensitive person, I’ve navigated these waters my whole life, and I’ve come to realize that sensitivity is more than a gift—it’s a superpower! But first we need to …

Free 5-Day Mindfulness Challenge – Interview with Mindful in May Founder Elise Bialylew

By

Every year, I share a little about Mindful in May, a month-long online meditation program that can dramatically improve your state of your mind and your life, while also transforming the lives of others living in poverty.

This year, I was grateful to connect with Mindful in May founder Elise Bialylew to learn more about the program; how mindfulness can help with depression, anxiety, and chronic stress; and how you can you can get a free taste of the already dramatically discounted program from April 8th through 12th.

Here’s what Elise had to say…

1. Can you tell us

…

Before You Send That Message to Your Ex, Consider This

By

“If the hurt comes so will the happiness. Be patient.” ~Rupi Kaur

What if I said instead of messaging our ex, we had a different choice, a choice that will be even more fulfilling than acting on the urge to share whatever we’re feeling right now?

It’s been over a year since I last spoke with my ex. While I’ve thought about him and missed him, I’ve known that getting in contact wasn’t the right thing, and so I haven’t taken any action to reconnect.

For the past few weeks, however, my thoughts have been seeping in, focusing on …

Why Compliments Made Me Cringe and How I’ve Learned to Accept Praise

By

“Even when the sea is stirred up by the winds of self-doubt, we can find our way home.” ~Tara Brach

What is it about praise that’s so hard to hear sometimes?

You know the drill. You do something noteworthy, like cooking a meal for your friends, or getting on stage to do a talk. Assuming things go okay, your friends or colleagues tell you a bunch of nice, encouraging things afterward:

“This meal is delicious!”

“You did great up there!”

And suddenly you feel uncomfortable.

Maybe you deflect those nice, encouraging words (“Oh it was nothing, really”). Or …