Category: Blog

Take a Small Step

“I could never make a living while traveling the world; it’s just not realistic.”

“My guitar won’t pay the bills. People think I’m crazy for trying.”

“I don’t have the money to go back to school. I’m stuck in this dead-end temp job.”

Most people dream of doing something that gives them a sense of excitement and purpose. Only some people believe in the possibility of that meaningful, exciting reality. Even fewer people pursue those goals in the face of adversity and discouragement.

Belief in possibility and the willingness to try can mean the difference between feeling alive and feeling stuck. Even if you don’t get where you’re headed, believing you can and working toward your dream is more powerful than you realize.

The woman who spends her days going to auditions—she may not be a famous actress, but she’s an actress who could find work, work that may lead to opportunities she can’t even imagine.

The man who wants to bike across the US someday—every hour he devotes to training increases his chances of achieving his goal. Every time he dots an i on his dream-to-do list, he’s one step closer to actually doing what some people say he can’t.

There will always be people who doubt you, people who think you should do what’s easy, customary, and reasonable. Sometimes you may even be one of those people. Don’t think about them today. Instead, think about one simple step. (more…)

November 1, 2009
Living Life at Full Throttle

“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” ~H. Jackson Browne

When I was fifteen, I “died” for about a minute or so and then came back to life. A very severe case of bronchitis that lasted for over a week caused my brush with death. What complicated the situation was my allergic reaction to one type of medicine.

I had what’s known as a near death experience, and it was typical of all other near death experiences.

There was bright light, lots of love, and a huge reluctance to come back. I tried to negotiate with the dude in charge about letting me stay, but he told me I was still needed and that my time was not up.

He told me a few more things about my life, things that were too private to share. Interestingly enough, they all came true.

The last thing I remember before coming back was that I saw my body in bed, and I remember thinking that I looked so peaceful. It was kind of weird to see myself from the ceiling of my bedroom and to watch what was happening as if it were happening to someone else. I then opened my eyes, and life as I knew it was never the same.

Prior to this experience, I didn’t have much awareness of death. I knew that it existed but it didn’t seem like it would happen to me any time soon. It was like a distant relative that I knew I would meet in the future, which was many years away.

My childhood was bad for a variety of reasons. When I was born, I had a defect that made my head look like it was on crooked. Kids made fun of me daily.

When I was nine, the defect was corrected but the scars of the pain remained. To complicate matters even more, I was the first ethnic kid in a neighborhood where racism was rampant.

As a result, I didn’t like going to school. I went through most of my days complaining or lamenting about how miserable things were. When I first got the case of bronchitis that practically killed me, I was happy because it meant that I could stay home from school. (more…)

October 28, 2009
7 Reasons to Be Happy Even if Things Aren’t Perfect Now

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” ~Unknown

Even though I couldn’t possibly care less about oil-based raincoats, I listened to him talk for about fifteen minutes one rainy morning last week.

This little guy, with his colorful button-down shirt and funny-looking hat makes my day most mornings. He works at the 7-11 where I get my coffee. And he always seems happy.

At first I thought he was just putting on a good face, making the best of a tough situation. After all, he couldn’t possibly enjoy working at a convenience store, right?

Then I realized I was missing the biggest part of his appeal: he does enjoy his job, and that’s why he seems so happy—because he is.

Man, that’s awesome. I aim to be like him.

My life doesn’t always look exactly like I want it to. I spend many days writing alone in my living room when I’d rather work from a beachside office space I share with friends. I drive a beat-up old Toyota when I’d far prefer something that doesn’t have roll-up windows or a cassette player.

But the world doesn’t change all that much if I have more money, a different space, a better job, or a nicer car. The wrapping paper is different, but the gift inside stays the same.

The way I feel about myself, how much I open myself to new people and experiences, how often I choose to smile simply because it feels good—none of these things depend on my life situation. Colorful shirt guy knows that. I suspect he knows these things, too: (more…)

October 26, 2009
See and Tell

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~Voltaire

There are a lot of impressive people in the world. Some innovate and invent things that help masses of people. Some use art to tell powerful stories that move viewers to action.

Others make the world a better place by being helpful within their own sphere of influence, however small or large it may be.

Those little things define people.

The way your neighbor asks how you’re doing and really listens for the answer. How your coworker supports your ideas and gives you encouragement to see them through. The way your sister makes your house a better place by staying calm when others seem stressed.

These are all acts of greatness that affect other people, whether they notice or not.

Noticing is a powerful act.

A compliment rooted in truth creates more than just a smile. It shows someone you see the good in them, independent of what they achieve. It tells them they not only matter, they really make a difference—something we all hope to do.

Tell someone what you see today. Let them know how simply being them makes a difference in your world. Life looks a lot brighter when you open your eyes to the light in people around you.

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October 19, 2009
Say No

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Seuss

As children we’re taught to just say no, and we do it with abandon.

Want to come inside and get ready for dinner? No! Want to shut off the TV and go grocery shopping? No! Want to wear the glittery holiday sweater grandma bought you last year? You know where this is going.

Then we get older and learn about etiquette. We get that sometimes we need to do things that we don’t want to. We understand that other people’s feelings matter and we need to consider them before making decisions.

What we don’t always learn is how to find a balance between doing for others and doing for ourselves.

We say we value our time, but it’s difficult when we field a million requests through voicemail, email, IM, and text.

We know we need to hold our ground if we want to be productive—or stay sane—but we don’t want to disappoint anyone, or even worse, leave them hanging when they need us. (more…)

October 16, 2009
Need Less, Have More: Life Expands When We Eliminate the Excess
“Knowledge is learning something new every day. Wisdom is letting go of something every day” ~Zen Saying

Simplicity, at its heart, comes down to eliminating the excess in our lives.

Excess needs, wants, possessions. The list goes on.

Society tries to sell us on the idea that having more in our lives should be the goal and is the answer. But is more really improving the quality of our lives?

Do more possessions beyond a certain point really add value to our lives?

Do more commitments in our diaries really help us feel less stressed and rushed?

Does always wanting the latest gadget really improve the quality of what we have now?

Is more even feasible for many of us who are struggling just to make ends meet and pay basic bills in these challenging economic times? Many can barely afford enough, let alone more.

Living in the Moment

Having more in our lives or buying into the concept that more is better can mean we miss living in the moment. We’re constantly waiting for our lives to be complete with more and striving for a day that will never come.

We’re in a state of deferred living. Always assuming what we have now is not enough. Always wanting more.

My Journey to Simpler and Less

My own path to wanting to live a simpler life is, I’m sure, fairly typical.

Around four to five years ago my life was going pretty well with little to complain about in the grand scheme of things. I had great friends and family, a good job, a roof over my head, and certainly knew where my next meals were coming from.

However, I had also started to accumulate more in my life. More material possessions, more commitments, more meetings, more financial responsibilities, more hassle. Alongside this I felt like less and less of my time was, well my time.

The quality of my time was decreasing as more was added to it.

I was busy and in motion a lot of the time but wasn’t really getting what I truly wanted out of life. I had bought into the concept of more and that more would be the answer. I had lost track of my own goals a little.

A period of reflection followed. In this period of reflecting, I started to identify more of what I truly wanted in life. I also started to uncover those things in life I would rather be without.

I started to seek out books on the subjects of simpler living and lifestyle redesign. I had the good fortune to come across the work of some truly great authors and thinkers (Leo Babauta, Chris Guillebeau, and Tim Ferriss, amongst a few). These books challenged my thinking but also encouraged me further into the rabbit hole I was starting to disappear down.

I also started to take action.

I started to peel back and eliminate what didn’t matter.

I started extracting myself from commitments and meetings I really had no interest in being at or didn’t feel I could add value to.

I learned the value and power of a polite “no thanks” when requests on my time (meetings, social gatherings) didn’t excite me, add value, or help my goals along in some way. Importantly, I started to feel less guilt about saying no in these cases.

I started to see that conventional wisdom doesn’t always have to be followed.

I started to remove distractions and excuses I was making to myself.

I started to focus more on the things and people that were important to me.

I realized I value freedom and flexibility over the ability to just earn more and started to try to seek out ways of living accordingly.

I started to accumulate fewer material possessions but enjoyed my money more (holidays, events, great dinners, etc.).

In short, the quality of my life has improved since I have sought to simplify things and intentionally live with less.

Was Making the Change Easy?

In short, no. This is very much a journey and not an overnight fix. However, in my own case the process of working toward a focus on less has already made some powerful changes in my life. It has meant:

I have set up my own one-man consulting company rather than chasing the corporate dream that never seemed to fulfil me with each climb up the ladder. This gives me an increased sense of flexibility, empowerment, and freedom in my work.

Because I’ve spent less on stuff, I have been able to travel more for fun in the past two years than at any other time in my life (and the more amazing places I travel to the more I want to travel).

I have realized that life can be rich and full of small pleasures without having to spend lots or buy more. For example, I love taking early morning, long walks before dawn breaks and then coming back to a make some freshly brewed coffee.

I feel like I have more time to do what I want to do and to spend with the people I want to spend time with. (In reality, I have the same amount of time available to me but have been more selective in how I fill my time and what I say yes to.)

For you, the list will of course look very different depending on your own circumstances and goals. However, a commitment to banishing the “more is better” mindset will, I’m sure, improve the quality of your own life in equally significant ways.

Eliminate the Excess

Eliminating the excess means living a life that can be slightly unconventional by modern standards.

Perhaps we don’t change to the latest smartphone every other week.

Perhaps we don’t fill our homes with clutter.

Perhaps we don’t check our email obsessively.

Perhaps we focus on and are grateful for what we do have rather than on what we don’t.

Perhaps we think more carefully about clothes we purchase going for quality over quantity (or indeed have a very simple wardrobe of a few clothes we enjoy).

Perhaps we intentionally create space in our diaries and life so you can breathe a little and enjoy the moment.

Making changes is not necessarily easy initially. We are so programmed to think a certain way that making changes can involve a significant shift in thinking. However, what we get back by eliminating these false wants and needs makes any initial effort more than worthwhile. It can literally transform our lives for the better. It can mean:
- More free time to do what we want to do (hobbies, passions, etc.)
- More quality time with those we care about
- Less stress
- Less spending
- Ironically, more quality possessions that we truly enjoy and give us value
- More savings (for holidays and other things you enjoy doing)
- Less pressure to keep up with those around us
Now ask yourself, what is stopping you trying to find your own path to less and forever banishing the more is better mindset?
October 14, 2009
Be Your Purpose Now

“The secret to success is constancy to purpose.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

Most of us want to be successful, if not in monetary terms, then by our own definitions.

We want to feel a sense of meaning, to do something worthwhile that we can be proud of. Something that matters to people. Something that will live on after we do.

We often get so caught up in becoming who we want to be that we miss on being those people right now.

We get so focused on striving—getting things done, crossing items off the to-do list—that we forget to simply enjoy that purpose that matters so much. We approach tasks like races, anxious to reach the finish line. And then move onto the next item—get just one foot closer to that dream.

Sometimes when we move closer through achievements, we move further away in passion. (more…)

October 13, 2009
Interpret Differently

“Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” ~William Shakespeare

Research indicates lottery winners are no happier than people who didn’t win, and in many cases, become depressed in the years following their win.

Scientists have surmised that we all have a baseline level of happiness—a range of joy we’ll stay within regardless of our external circumstances. The greatest factor in determining this joy is our mental attitude.

If you’d like to alter your baseline, instead of trying to change your circumstances, change the way you interpret them.

It sounds much easier said than done because it is. If you’ve always seen the glass as half-empty, you likely won’t transform into a positive thinker overnight. But you can take one simple step toward more positive thinking.

Pay special attention today to the way you react to things that happen to you. Acknowledge negative situations, and then realize you don’t have to respond negatively. You may even be able to see it as a blessing in disguise. (more…)

October 8, 2009
10 Ways I Know There’s Nothing Wrong with You (or Me)

“On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a joyous energy behind what you do.” ~Eckhart Tolle

At seventeen I had it all. I made straight As, was the vice president of the Honor Society, held two jobs, took the lead in four community theater performances, and joined Donnie Osmond onstage as part of the children’s chorus in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

I was busy. I did things well. I got attention. I was ready to snap.

I was so hungry for success and approval I’d do anything to get it, even if it meant exhausting and dehydrating myself straight to the ER.

What’s worse, I was continually dissatisfied with everything I did. I was my own punching bag.

Thirteen years later I don’t do nearly as much. I don’t take any classes. I don’t work much at the moment. I don’t perform anymore. On the other side of overexertion, I’ve still beaten myself up.

I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up—there’s something wrong with me.

I live across the country from my family and haven’t justified it by becoming a massive success—there’s something wrong with me.

I’m obsessed with self-improvement, but I’m still not perfect—there’s something wrong with me.

Stop. Revelation. Cue the spotlight: There’s nothing wrong with me.

And there’s nothing wrong with you.

Here’s how I know both of these statements are true:

1. You’re playing the game of life as best you know how and trying to get better every day.

You can’t possibly do someone else’s best, so there’s no point in stressing about it.

2. You make mistakes like everyone else, which allows you to learn as you go.

That means you’re doing what you should be.

3. You’re unique, whether you’re introverted or outgoing, book smart or street smart, creative or technical…

…the list goes on and on. You’re the world’s only opportunity to know a person just like you. The only hope to share what only you can.

4. There’s no such thing as the way you should be.

If you do what you enjoy and don’t harm other people, you’re living a beautiful life.

5. You will never become someone—you are someone right now…

…whether you influence millions of people or mean the world to just one person. Your impact is powerful, whether you realize it or not.

6. If someone hurts you, you don’t deserve it.

No one does. End of conversation.

7. You feel emotions and respond to them.

That’s the way this whole humanity thing works. If you could stand to improve the way you respond, newsflash: everyone could.

8. You have a pulse right now, and it’s your choice what you do with it.

There’s no right or wrong answer. (Unless what you want is to maim a puppy or something equally perverse.)

9. You choose what you think is best, or else you wouldn’t choose it.

As you get new information and grow stronger and smarter, you’ll make different choices.

10. You are beautiful, inside and out.

I’ve printed this out and put it in my nightstand where I can read it when I get hard on myself. I hope it gives you comfort when you start thinking there’s a good reason to not enjoy right now.

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October 5, 2009
Act Your Shoe Size

“A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.” ~Bill Vaughn

You have bills, obligations, and responsibilities.

And there are people who mean something to you: people who believe in you who you’d like to make proud, people who don’t believe in you who you’d like to prove wrong.

You have things you want to accomplish, both for you and your family. Things you want to experience to feel you’ve lived a full life. Things that keep you caught in a place in your head where now feels like no more than a vehicle to a better tomorrow.

Those people and things aren’t going anywhere. You can.

You can go to a place where anything seems possible. Where you see what’s right in front of you and fully enjoy it without stressing about something that happened or hasn’t happened yet.

A place where appearances don’t seem so important—so you play, and act silly, and ask questions, and respond honestly, without censoring or judging your feelings.

A place where you feel good doing things that make you happy, no matter how long they’ll last, because they make you smile right now.

You can’t go back to three years old—and you probably wouldn’t want to—but you can tap into all that joy.

Take recess today.

Give yourself permission to stop worrying and striving. Just be where you are. Focus on the wonder of something simple. Create something and have fun—do it just to have fun. Be curious, and playful, and easily impressed, and open. Even if just for a while.

A small break and a small shift in thinking can make a significant difference.

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September 30, 2009
Log Changes

“The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice.” ~R.D.Laing

Have you ever noticed a new business on your route to work only to later learn it’s been there for weeks?

Somehow in the hustle and bustle of your morning routine, you missed an obvious change to your environment. It happens—and often on a much smaller scale.

As we do what we always do, we tend to focus on things we always see and as a result, think the way we always think. Even if you’re the most interesting person in the universe, your world will start to feel stale and dull if you lose sight of what’s in front of you.

There’s a whole lot of change to notice and appreciate, even if you’ve never left your hometown.

New leaves on a tree. A new chill in the air. New neighbors. New excitement at your local playground. New businesses, and billboards, and new solutions to problems. A new bounce in your mother’s step. New energy in your office. New passion within your friends. New perspectives on things that didn’t even change.

Open your eyes just a little wider. You may notice a new layer of beauty in a routine that stays the same.

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September 28, 2009
Unstrange a Stranger

“Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend, or a meaningful day.” ~Dalai Lama

Some sociologists argue that weak ties, the type you form with colleagues and online friends, for example, are the bane of modern life.

Instead of having meaningful conversations that bring us closer to people, we spend much of our time networking with a vast sea of strangers. We keep many interactions peripheral, failing to form the type of intimacy that benefits us emotionally and even physically.

A recent New York Magazine article titled Alone Together challenged this idea since weak ties create possibilities for new and deeper connections.

Seize those possibilities.

Let your guard down. Talk to someone you don’t really know right from your heart. Don’t anticipate hurt or awkwardness. Just be you, in that beautiful way only you can, and give them the chance to open up, as well.

When you believe in people instead of responding in fear, they often surprise and amaze you.

Not everyone will see you. Appreciate you. Get you. But you never know which acquaintance could turn into a friend that feels like home.

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September 25, 2009
11 Ways to Laugh it Off

“If you are too busy to laugh, you are too busy.” ~Proverb

Last night a few of my friends and I went to see Chelsea Handler perform stand-up comedy. Whether you’re a fan of her show on E! or not, most would have found her pretty hilarious. I laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. And you know what? It felt pretty awesome.

Every time I go to a comedy show, probably once or twice a year, I ask myself “Why don’t I do that more often?”

I always have a great time and leave feeling so relaxed and refreshed. I don’t know if it’s the best medicine—depends on what ails you!—but laughter is pretty great. It medicates whatever pain or emotional distress you’re feeling and makes everything seem a little bit better.

Weird but True

As I was reading up about laughter on Wikipedia, I found some interesting and obscure facts. Apparently, in 1962 there was an incident called the Tanganyika laughter epidemic—an outbreak of mass hysteria near the village of Kashasha on western coast of Lake Victoria in Tanzania.

It is rumored that the incident started because someone told a joke in a boarding school that got students laughing. That laughter perpetuated itself, and thousands of people were laughing for months. Months. Crazy, huh? Just shows you how contagious laughter can be!

The Benefits of Laughter (more…)

September 16, 2009
Tiny Buddha Launch Contest Winners

It’s been an exciting couple of days since we first launched! Without further ado, here are the winners of the launch contest:

Amanda Ryan will receive:

-How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life, the Dalai Lama
-The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle
-Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Every Day Life, Thich Nhat Hanh
-A yoga mat
-A tiny buddha statue
-Tea Starter Kit by Kevin Rose, sold at Samovar Tea Lounge

Suzy Arbet, Mark Dell, Chelsea Tatum, Michael Stanziano and Erica Torres will each receive:

-How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life, the Dalai Lama
-A tiny buddha statue

Check back regularly for more wisdom and giveaways. Also, let us know if you have any feedback about the site, or a blog post to share that ties into one of the daily quotes. We’re just a message away at email @ tinybuddha.com.

September 10, 2009
Worry Serves No Useful Purpose

“Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Tomorrow is my thirtieth birthday. For two hours earlier this evening, I felt certain I’d start the day hooked up to an IV in intensive care.

It all started two weeks ago when I visited my family. Shortly after I arrived home I began feeling chest pains, something I experienced frequently in my youth.

Back in the day, I spent hours in the high school nurse’s office while my peers were in lunch, study hall, or gym class. Though it was intense and frightening, I wonder, in retrospect, if my mind magnified the pain after the doctor called my damaged esophagus “pre-cancerous.” (more…)

September 8, 2009
The Kindest Thing You Can Do for Someone Else

“The kindest thing you can do for someone else is listen without forming an opinion.” ~Lori Deschene

I was standing on Tremont St. looking for a cab, feeling euphoric after a fun night on the town. I had a couple glasses of wine—okay, several glasses of wine—so I was a little buzzed on top of that.

This guy walked by me with a dog, both looking scraggly and unfortunate. He asked me if I could spare some change.

I immediately said, “Sorry I can’t.” He’d probably just spend it on booze, I figured. That’s what they all do, right? Then I started thinking about the dog. He didn’t have a choice in all this. Maybe he’d benefit if I sucked it up and pulled out a few bucks.

I realized I was standing right near a bus line that goes down my street and decided to re-purpose my cab money. So I pulled the guy over, saying, “Wait. That’s a lie. I know you probably really need it.”

I looked in my wallet and took out a five, and he actually said, “Wow!” with tears welling up in his eyes. Damn. He had to go and show his humanity. Suddenly I felt horrible. I wasn’t being kind and generous. I was being judgmental and condescending while pretending to be a hero. (more…)

September 2, 2009