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How to Embrace Elective (not Mandatory) Forgiveness After Trauma

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Do I need to forgive my abusive mother to let go of the past?

This is the question I found myself grappling with when I started to recover from the pain of childhood neglect. For most of my childhood, I did not have access to a consistent adult who valued me. As a result, I believed that I had no value, and I lived my life according to this belief.

I treated myself as an invaluable being by denying my needs, catering to everyone else’s, and engaging in relationships with people who sought to benefit from my low self-worth. 


How to Live a Joy-Filled Life with Chronic Illness

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“Living with chronic illness isn’t a life half-lived; it’s an opportunity to redefine what it means to be truly alive, resilient, and whole.” ~Christopher Reynolds

I have spent the past eleven years of my life in chronic pain. While this journey has been long, excruciatingly difficult, and deeply lonely, I am beginning to come to peace with my body. After seven long years of intense physical pain, anxiety, and depression, my mindset shifted.

Ironically, this shift began the moment that I got a diagnosis. In February 2020, I was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. After seven years, I stopped searching and 


When Unhappiness Is the Soul Crying Out for Nourishment

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“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

I had been caught in a web of unhappiness for several months some time ago.

During those months, each morning looked the same. I would open my eyes, sigh in misery, and sit at the edge of the bed for a few minutes to mentally prepare myself for yet another day. It took all the energy within me, which was little, to stand up and go about the day.

Although I was unhappy for many months, I had come a long way in healing from severe anxiety. 


4 Reasons to Appreciate Hard Times and How to Cultivate Gratitude

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“Thank you for all the challenges that built my character. Thank you for all the hard times that made me appreciate the good times.” ~Unknown

Gratitude is often associated with joy, blessings, and moments that bring us happiness. But what about the times when life feels hard? Can we still find gratitude in the pain and struggles that challenge us?

A good friend went through a difficult experience this year, and she taught me that the answer is yes. Her story left a profound impact on me.

Last month, my friend finished her final round of chemotherapy, and as we 


Tai Chi: A Strange and Powerful Dance of Freedom

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“The key is to be in a state of permanent connectedness with your inner body—to feel it at all times. This will rapidly deepen and transform your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

“Relax your shoulders, keep your head high, stay grounded,” I cue myself as I walk through my morning Tai Chi. It’s still dark, but I know my moves, and my arms and legs move with confidence and ease.

Most of my life, I was a person with anxiety. I didn’t know I had anxiety, even though it was trying to speak to me as tension in 


Releasing Self-Sabotage: 3 Simple Ways to Catch Yourself and Redirect

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“The greater part of human pain is unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle

“Holy shirtballs!” I yelped and leapt out of the ice-cold water stream, gasping for air.

There I was in an Argentina hotel at 5:30 a.m., bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived, with no chances of hot water and a back that felt like the surface of the sun.

I had gotten the worst sunburn of my LIFE the day before from laying on my belly, deeply absorbed in my first self-help book. I couldn’t believe that other people out there were 


Stop Chasing: Finding What You Need in the Here and Now

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“Life is what happens while we’re busy worrying about everything we need to change or accomplish. Slow down, get mindful, and try to enjoy the moment. This moment is your life.” ~Lori Deschene

Are you living life in a constant pursuit—chasing happiness, freedom, comfort, or success? What if the thing you’re so desperately looking for isn’t at the finish line? What if life isn’t a race to be won? These were the questions I asked myself not long ago.

I won’t lie; answering them didn’t completely change my life overnight. I didn’t have any major breakthrough when realizing what I’m 


The Monumental Trap of Overworking Yourself for Recognition

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“Expectations are premeditated resentments.” ~Unknown

Yesterday, I found myself sitting across from my boss, fighting back tears as I voiced something that had been eating away at me for three years: “I don’t feel valued enough.”

The words felt heavy in my throat. As a law professor, I’d always prided myself on being composed and professional. But in that moment, all my carefully constructed walls came crumbling down.

“I put in extra hours. I mentor people. I’m always available when someone needs help,” I continued, my voice barely above a whisper. “But it feels like nobody really appreciates it. Like 


If You’re Afraid of Making a Big Life Change

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“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” ~Alan Watts

I used to think that stability was the key to happiness. Stay in one place, build a career, nurture long-term relationships—these were the pillars of a successful life, or so I believed.

My life was a carefully constructed fortress of routine and familiarity. Wake up at 6 a.m., commute to the same office I’d worked at for a decade, come home to the same apartment I’d lived in since college, rinse and repeat. It was safe. 


Free New Year Meditation & Writing Challenge

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Hi friend! As you might recall, last fall I shared an empowering five-day meditation and writing challenge from Tiny Buddha contributor Nadia Colburn. This month, she’s back with another free meditation and writing challenge, designed for the new year, focused on transformation, and I can’t recommend it enough!

Founder of the online creative writing school Align Your Story, Nadia is a poet, memoirist, and yogi who has a talent for helping people create inner calm and access their most authentic voice.

That’s what I love about her challenges—they allow us to turn down the mental noise that creates stress 


5 Hidden Ways Codependency Is Sabotaging Your Relationships

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“We rescue people from their responsibilities. We take care of people’s responsibilities for them. Later we get mad at them for what we’ve done. Then we feel used and sorry for ourselves. That is the pattern, the triangle.” ~ Melody Beattie

I first uncovered codependency and how it was ruining my relationships back in 2019 after ending my relationship of four years.

At the time, I didn’t know the first thing about myself—except that I didn’t know myself at all. I had no idea what I needed or desired. All I knew was that I hated being alone and longed 


Live a Life You Love: The Magic of Following Joy

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“Some people are empowered by travel and some are inspired by the warmth of home. Some thrive in the spotlight and some feel called to support those who are on stage. Some people are comfortable half-dressed and cussing like sailors and others prefer modesty and gentleness. The thing is: we are all empowered and inspired in different ways, and it’s not our job to decide what that looks like for anyone else.” ~Brooke Hampton

In 1992, the Olympic Games were on, and my dad was glued to the screen. He called me over to watch with him, and though I 


4 Lessons I Learned from Leaving a Toxic Relationship

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“It takes strength and self-love to say goodbye to what no longer serves you.” ~Rumi

I promised myself at a young age that when I got married, I was not going to get divorced, no matter what! My parents had divorced when I was five, and I knew that I didn’t want to put my kids through what I’d experienced as a child who grew up in a “broken” family. I wanted my kids to know what it was like to live in a house with both their parents present and involved in their lives.

So, when I found 


The Real Cost of Living Through a Screen: Breaking Free from Social Media Addiction

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“Never hold yourself back from trying something new just because you’re afraid you won’t be good enough. You’ll never get the opportunity to do your best work if you’re not willing to first do your worst and then let yourself learn and grow.” ~Lori Deschene

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I asked my mother for the third time during our lunch together.

She sighed, put down her fork, and said something that still haunts me: “I’ve gotten used to competing with your phone for your attention.”

I looked down at my phone, Instagram still glowing on the screen, and 


How I’ve Become My Own Source of Love and Reassurance

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“Create a safe space within yourself that no one will ever find, somewhere the madness of this world can never touch.” ~Christy Ann Martine

Losing my grandmother was like losing the one person who had always been my anchor. She was my steady rock, my quiet cheerleader, and the only person who truly made me feel that I was perfectly fine, just as I was. I never had to pretend around her or hide my mistakes or messiness.

She had this way of being present and calm, even when life around us wasn’t, and that gave me a sense of 


To the Parent Who’s Stressing About Being Imperfect

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“Your greatest contribution to the universe may not be something you do, but someone you raise.” ~Unknown

Have you ever heard the saying, “Mama knows best” or “If mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy”? Honestly, who decided that moms should know everything and that the entire emotional balance of the home rests solely on their shoulders? Isn’t Mom a human too? A beautiful soul navigating this life, trying to figure things out just like everyone else? How is it fair that we pile all the pressure onto this one person—the keeper of the schedules, the task doer, the tender space for 


What I Do Now Instead of Trying to Rescue People

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“A leader leads by example whether he intends to or not.” ~Unknown

This past year has been a journey—one that cracked me open in ways I never expected.

It began with life-changing news: I was pregnant with my third child. In August, I welcomed my baby, and as I held that tiny, precious life in my arms, the weight of reality crashed over me. Something had to give. I could not keep moving at the same relentless pace, endlessly pouring myself into others, holding their pain as if it were my own, and giving until there was nothing left. 


The One Hidden Belief That Was Sabotaging My Business

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“If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.” ~Louise Hay

When I first set out to create my business, I poured all my hopes and energy into it working tirelessly, learning, refining, and investing. Since childhood, I knew I wanted to do my own thing. Something that felt meaningful to me. But despite all my best efforts, the success and sense of support and steadiness I longed for always felt out of reach.

I chalked it to timing, or not doing enough, or missing something others had that I couldn’t put my finger on. 


Divorce: A Portal to Reclaiming My Authentic Self

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“The only journey is the one within.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

Navigating life after divorce has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but divorce also contained the best gifts I have ever received. My whole world was shaken up and rearranged. The shake-up included a loss of career and becoming a mostly solo parent on top of the divorce.

From the rubble of my old life, I got the chance to build something new, authentic, and fresh. Divorce was a painful portal to powerfully reclaiming myself and my life. Through the rebuilding process, I found strength and clarity in ways 


The Most Important Pieces of My Cancer Coping Plan

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“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend.” ~Lao Tzu

When dealing with a serious health issue or life challenge, we can choose to navigate through it to the light or bury ourselves in its darkness. While it’s not always easy to find the light, it’s a much easier place to survive in and, in the long run, is much healthier. This way of being has helped me on my recent health journeys.

Twice in the past twenty-three years, I have received the news of a breast cancer diagnosis. Both incidences were