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When the Pursuit of Greatness Does More Harm Than Good

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“Seek not greatness, but seek truth and you will find both.” ~Horace Mann

You’re destined for greatness. Don’t settle for mediocrity. You can be extraordinary.

Have you ever heard one of these motivating statements? I see them all the time around the web, and while I understand the intention, I sometimes have mixed feelings about the implication.

We all want to make a difference in the world. We all want to make some kind of impact, both to contribute to mankind and to feel that our lives mean something.

It’s a great, big world out there, and at times …

6 Tips to Keep Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be

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“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

Last October, in a whiplash-fast, three-hour labor, two and half weeks before my due date, I gave birth to my first baby, a boy, named Jackson.

While pregnancy hadn’t been a breeze—I was hospitalized twice with complications, and, you know, no sushi for nine months—the first few weeks of Jackson’s life left me feeling, at times, like a shattered shell of my …

The Wisdom of Learning What’s Right and True for You

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“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.” ~Lao-tzu

There seems to be a common perception in our culture that knowledge equals wisdom; however, I don’t believe this is true.

I would say that wisdom is what knowledge becomes when we have brought it into our hearts and experienced it as true.

Wisdom cannot be gained by passively accepting what we read or by believing what another person tells us. We must take an idea or thought and test it, truly investigate it, before it can become wisdom.

Wisdom requires awareness and a willingness to ask ourselves—and experience firsthand—what …

3 Ways to Trust Your Body and Trust Yourself

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“Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

I trust that the body knows everything. It does. Absolutely.

Did you ever just get a feeling—maybe something in your body that tells you something is wrong or just not right? Or maybe it gives you hints of unfailing happiness, joy, and earth shattering love?

If we would stop giving so much power to the mind, the ego, and just sat still and tapped into our body’s wisdom, we’d experience a healing power so great that it could prevent or reverse illness, disease, hate, self-loathing, …

Your Thoughts Create Your World: Patrol Your Mind

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“Since you alone are responsible for your thoughts, only you can change them.” ~Paramahansa Yogananda

In my second year of residency, I went through my internal medicine rotation. I had just been assigned to a particular patient and was responsible for his care during that part of his stay. His medical chart stated he had multiple systemic issues, including more than one terminal condition.

He had been admitted to the hospital numerous times, but this was our first encounter. As I entered his room, I wasn’t sure what to expect. After all, this was a man with a limited …

4 Ways To Take The Ego Out of Money Decisions

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“Prosperity depends more on wanting what you have than having what you want.” ~Geoffrey Abert

Nothing has the power to mess up my finances more than my own brain—or, more precisely, my ego.

According to Eckhart Tolle, the ego entails the habitual and compulsive thought processes that go through everybody’s mind continuously. Left unchecked, this constant ego monologue prevents us from focusing on the present moment. Instead, we get caught up in worrying about what happens next.  Or, in my case, what I want to buy next.

My Ego Challenges

As a financial planner, you would think that I …

Creating Calm and Releasing Anxiety: Go Deeper, Not Faster

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“It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.” ~Lena Horne

Friends, relatives, and the waitress who served me breakfast said I was the most relaxed bride they’d ever seen. “Most brides are ordering the bloody Mary’s right now, not the green tea,” the server remarked.

This was July 9, 2011, and I was about to marry my husband, best friend, and favorite comedian. Our wedding washed over me like a peace I had long forgotten.

Aside from finding the person I always knew I was looking for, the grace I felt that day resulted …

Waking Up and Forgetting a Bad Day

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“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” ~Denis Waitley

Yesterday was a bad day.

My husband and I got really close to buying a car before we walked away—again. This time it was because it was above our budget (with taxes), because the current owners didn’t have the title (their bank did), and because our own car broke down on the way to trying to buy the new car (didn’t see that one coming).

I was fine about the ordeal yesterday, seeing …

11 Lessons for a Life Filled with Peace, Love, and Happiness

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“A man is not old until regrets take the place of his dreams.” ~Proverb

When Lori wrote her list of thirty-three lessons she’d learned in life (one for each of her years) to celebrate her recent birthday, she gave us some amazing insights (thirty-three to be exact) for someone so young.

It got me thinking of what wisdom I could possibly add to the list from the extra years of life I’ve led, eleven extra years to be exact. (Did I just admit that!)

As someone still so young (well, sort of), I’m still learning too, and hope to keep …

More Peace and Connection: Recreating a Simpler Time

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“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~Robert Brault

Yesterday, as my boyfriend and I were driving home from a quick trip to Vegas, we saw a sign for a ghost town and decided to do some exploring.

I’ve always loved the idea of a ghost town—a place left untouched for years, still reflecting the people who once inhabited it, as if they’d just picked up and left mere moments ago.

Though aged with cobwebs, marred by neglect, and long since deprived of life and laughter, it would seem …

Strength in Times of Doubt: 11 Tips for Tough Times

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“We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.” ~Unknown

There is no question that we are living in a time of doubt, fear, uncertainty, and economic frustration. Only recently have I experienced this doubt on a gut level, the kind that can punch hard and make you sick.

I am writing because I want this to change, but also because I know other people are dealing with this same thing.

After spending nine years in school, four degrees later, I found myself unemployed and overqualified. My passion for social work and education loomed far in …

Live the Beach Lifestyle Everyday

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“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” ~Sydney J. Harris

I live on a beach, and I don’t mean in a box under the boardwalk. Rather, my home is just about 60 seconds away. People tell me I’m lucky when they find out that the beach is basically my backyard.

This implies that we all randomly end up living in places strictly by chance, and that my being here is purely accidental. I obviously chose to live here. But beyond that, the beach life can be a choice, even if you don’t live near …

5 Ways To Reclaim The Human Wealth That Is Your Right

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“An unhurried sense of time is in itself a sort of wealth.” ~Bonnie Friedman

We live in a society that favors material wealth over human wealth. Fame, fortune, and glamorous toys are what we are told to strive for with no thought to time, freedom, spirituality, and love. Even if you are just struggling to make ends meet, magazines and television will tell you to keep chasing the material dream.

Philosopher Daniel Quinn describes our economy in comparison to the economies of tribal people. He argues our economy is based on an exchange of products. You make products and sell …

When Giving Up Really Isn’t: Taking a Step Back

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“A bend in the road is not the end of the road
unless you fail to make the turn.” ~Unknown

A year ago this week I was lying on a pile of laundry on my bathroom floor, sobbing, blowing my nose into a dirty t-shirt. I was in the last stages of packing up my apartment, selling my furniture, putting a few belongings into storage, and at 34 I was moving home to my parents’ house.

It was not a good month, in a less-than-stellar year.

It was a year filled with difficult circumstances. Two years earlier I’d given up a …

A Couple of Simple Strategies to Let Others Be Happier

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“Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely.” ~Dale Carnegie

About 20 years ago, I read Dale Carnegie’s classic book, How to Win Friends & Influence People. I loved the book and passed it along to my wife, Marcie. She read a bit of it and returned it to me saying, “This is all common sense. I don’t need to read this.”

Marcie is naturally nice, no doubt one of the things that attracted me to her when we met 30 years ago. And indeed, Carnegie’s strategies, which largely revolve around being nice, were “normal, everyday behavior” …

Why Forgiveness Doesn’t Work and How to Change That

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“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese

Have you ever wondered why it’s so difficult to forgive others?

We all know it feels better emotionally to let go of resentment and anger. We know that our minds are clearer and we function better when we’re not constantly yammering about that story of pain, betrayal, hurt, and humiliation. We even know that releasing all that junk is good for our physical health.

But it’s still hard, isn’t it?

As a doctor of psychology, I’ve learned that the amygdala, that part of our brains …

Take Back Your Power and Start Loving Your Life

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Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Lindsey Kasch

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.” ~George Bernard Shaw

Excuses. We all make them.

We make them for everything all the time without even realizing it, pointing the finger at someone or something else, anything or anyone but ourselves.

I didn’t think I made excuses. Blaming people? Who me? No way!

Once …

Create a Positive Space and Break the Cycle of Negativity

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“Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it’s dark.” ~Zen Proverb

I’m a sensitive, emotional person with a lot of empathy for others. I’ve recently found myself feeling torn apart by negativity and the world outside of me. I’m often bogged down by cyclical negativity, and I sometimes focus on others’ effects on me instead of my own effect on myself.

In my depressive cycling, I was always the victim. The more I thought about how terrible someone was toward me, the deeper I spiraled into a negative space that couldn’t be replenished.

Deep in despair, I …

5 Simple Ways to Help Make Someone’s Life Better

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“We choose our destiny in the way we treat others.” ~Wit 

Growing up as a high-level swimmer, I used to be a very self-centered individual. Just about everything in my life revolved around becoming the best swimmer I could be.

I spent countless hours training, getting ready for workouts, and visualizing my future success. Helping others wasn’t on my radar. The idea of contribution was still foreign to me.

Fortunately, I was passionate about swimming and I had a purpose to my life, so I was happy.

But eventually my swimming career ended, and all of a sudden I started …

The Top 25 Excuses to Wait on Your Dreams and How to Overcome Them

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“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses
The gift is yours—it is an amazing journey—and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.” ~Bob Moawad

If we try, we can always find a reason not to do what we want to do, and it can seem perfectly valid. We can convince ourselves that we’re being smart, realistic, or safe, or that we don’t even really want it.

We’re great at justifying the status quo, because we know exactly what that’s like, even if it’s …