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4 Lessons on Surviving and Thriving When Times Are Tough

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“Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.” ~Unknown

Five months ago, I was sitting outside with a friend when a mosquito bit me under the arm. I went to scratch the bite and felt a lump on the side of my breast. My doctor sent me for a mammogram, ultrasound, and fine needle biopsy. I had breast cancer.

I am a 44-year-old single mother of two beautiful young girls with primary custody. I am also Director of a psychology practice and self-employed.

The day I was diagnosed was the day I lost the carefully …

Say Goodbye to Your “I” and Hello to Freedom

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“More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” ~Francois Gautier

It’s the last place in a million years I ever thought I would find myself.

Stuck in a day job I had originally taken to fund my art and still feed my family when times were lean. It all sounded so logical back then.

Except that after several years, this “I” that was showing up to work had zero passion, was totally unmotivated, and not exactly someone I was too proud of.

Which was very strange since I was always so committed with my dedication to …

Improv(e) Your Life: Lessons on Risks, Gifts, and More

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“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Improv comedy is something I’ve always enjoyed. I thought it would be fun to try, so I eventually took a class. Countless classes and many laughs later, I’ve learned that improv is a lot like life. In fact, applying what you learn in improv can actually improve your life.

Risky Business 

Showing up at an improv class for the first time might prove intimidating or anxiety provoking for some.  I felt some nerves when taking my first class, …

You Don’t Have to Be Lonely: Proactively Choose to Connect with People

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“Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.” ~ Epictetus

Do you know that feeling when you are completely alone?

I don’t mean in a calm, solitary, I-choose-to-be-on-my-own kinda way.

It’s the alone that inflates with silence that makes your ears ring. It’s the ache in the pit of your gut that boils the insecurities and needless feelings of rejection. It’s the push of desperate pain that wells in your eyes and stains your cheeks.

You know, that kind of alone?

I never intended to feel this way. When I …

Who to Fall in Love with First: 6 Ways to Love Yourself

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“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi

Most of us are so busy waiting for someone to love us that we’ve forgotten about the one person we need to love first—ourselves.

Ironically, it was when my ten-year marriage fizzled that I began the innermost process of self-discovery about love.

While discouraged and saddened at the crumbling of our relationship, I began to explore love more. How had it fizzled? Why had we stopped loving each other, and what had happened to …

Slow Down and Fully Enjoy This Moment

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“Don’t miss all the beautiful colors of the rainbow looking for that pot of gold.” ~Unknown

Have you noticed that time seems to go by faster as you get older? Holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries all come and go—and before we know it, here they come again.

One theory neuroscientists have is that when we are young we have more novel experiences. These novel experiences create more vivid memories. As we age, we have less “new” or “first time” experiences. There are no unique memories to stand out.

We can also look at it another way. When we’re doing something new, …

Being Mindful and Releasing Worries: 5 Tips for Living in the Present

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“The next message you need is always right where you are.” ~Ram Das 

I try to exercise mindfulness in all things. Nowhere has this been as important for me as in my relationships.

I try to remember that I am not the same person I was as a child. People in any family play different roles at different times.

It’s been heartening to see myself, formerly a frequent recipient of unwanted advice, in a position of sharing the wisdom of my experience and being a conscious example of what I recommend.

I am a younger sister. I am fifty-six years …

How to Rewire Your Brain (and Renew Your Life)

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I began practicing yoga and meditation in 1970 when I was seventeen years old.

I practiced in my small bedroom at one end our family’s long New York City apartment. My room was next to the kitchen. My parents, brother, and sister had bedrooms on the other side of the apartment.

I’d get up early and move through a sequence of yoga asanas before sitting down to meditate.

I’d sit in meditation until I heard the kitchen noises as my mother and siblings began their breakfast routine.

That was the signal that it was time for me to move from …

Life Is Practiced Rather Than Perfected: Balance Is Good Enough

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“Good enough is the new perfect.” ~Becky Beaupre Gillispie

Taking another look through the treasure trove that is Tiny Buddha’s quote archive, I realized that there’s actually no category for quotes on “balance.” Because I’m interested in (read: slightly obsessed about) balance, I delved into the groupings more closely and realized that the list itself is, in fact, finely balanced. And it’s a metaphor for life.

In the archive you can find wisdom in words on loss, pain, and sorrow, or seek solace in quotes on happiness, hope, and healing. Sage advice on weakness may speak …

Transform Your Confidence by Learning to Approach New People

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“As long as you make an identity for yourself out of pain, you cannot be free of it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I remember it like it was yesterday—sitting in the corner of a bar in Holland at a social gathering, feeling alienated because I didn’t know the people I had to mingle with. After all, they were friends of my girlfriend at the time.

My worries had consumed me and I didn’t know where to begin. I wondered: Should I pluck up the courage to strike up a conversation, or should I withdraw?

I realized from this experience that I lacked …

Let Go of Attachment: You Can Be Happy Even if Things Change

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“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

A wise old soul once told me that I needed to practice not being attached.

I honestly had no idea what he was talking about. I remember he gave me a very intelligent and understandable definition of attachment, but because it made such little sense to me, there was very little I could do with it. It was incomprehensible.

I have found that, like the definition of attachment, it isn’t the teachings themselves that give us the answer; it is our own discovery, in …

From Restlessness to Action: Enjoy Working Toward Your Dream

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“The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.” ~Tom Bradley

Every day seemed like hours passing. It didn’t matter how much I got accomplished at work or how many nice things I did to help others. I never felt satisfied.

This restlessness seemed to grow as much as the time I spent on my creative writing shrank.

My someday dream of finishing just one book started to seem more like a never-to-be-crossed-off item on a bucket list. And the most frustrating thing was that the more effort I put into trying to write more, the …

You Have the Power to Change Someone’s Day for the Better

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“It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s a feeling of dread. Maybe you’ve experienced it before.

You’re driving down the highway and suddenly something goes wrong. You’re stepping on the gas pedal but nothing is happening.

All the little lights on the dashboard come on and you notice one particular gauge you’ve been meaning to address sooner.

The needle is just past the E. You’re out of gas. 

It’s a helpless feeling. Desperation flashes through your mind as the wheels begin …

8 Simple Tips to Bring More Love into the World

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“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~BrenĂ© Brown

Have you heard the story of the ugly duckling?

Well, there never was an ugly duckling; he was actually a swan whose real beauty had not been recognized by him or by others.

All of us may or may not be ugly ducklings, but we are totally worthy of being loved, accepted, and cherished just as we are.

Ultimately we are all trying to do the best we can with our current knowledge, awareness, and understanding. But we lose our way, and the …

Knowing Better and Doing Better: How Are You Fortunate?

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“Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.” ~Hausa Proverb

Gratitude, the level of gratitude that one has, varies greatly by person. You have those that are grateful for every single thing in their lives, and those that know what the word means on paper yet never practice it in their own lives.

Then you have so many others (like myself), I call them the “in-betweeners.” We are grateful for so much but often forget this because life takes over, or so many other things are going on at once that you barely have five minutes to …

How to Deal With Change When Change Is Hard

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“You must welcome change as the rule but not your ruler” ~Denis Waitley

My name is Hannah, and I find it hard to deal with change.

As much as I used to want to think of myself as flexible and easy-going, I struggle to live up to these ideals. I like to know where I am, what I’m doing, where I’m going, and to have my near future mapped out in lists, to-dos, and ideas. In short, I do whatever I can to minimize the level of uncertainty in my life.

My discomfort around uncertainty means I am usually …

Create Purpose and Happiness by Being Useful to People

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“What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful.” ~the Dalai Lama

One of the beautiful things about being an intuitive reader is that people are willing to go very deep very quickly. Vulnerability, shame, fear, and hope are all active players at a table set with Tarot cards. Often people start out their first session with me warning that “You might get bored, this is just another love drama.”

Of course I never do get bored—everyone has a unique and precious story and I feel honored to share in them, period.

Besides, underneath every question that’s …

3 Unconventional Tips for Forgiving and Letting Go

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“The greatest obstacle to connecting with our joy is resentment.” ~Pema Chodron

Forgiveness is good, right? I don’t mean in a heal the planet kind of way—I mean in a selfish, me me me kind of way.

We want to let go of our resentments and connect with people genuinely. We want to feel happy and contented, full of love for ourselves and those around us. We want to run, carefree, through the fields in a pretty cotton dress, not sit around in our pajamas, twisted with bitterness.

But how do you experience genuine forgiveness and stop feeling resentful? Because …

Embodied Presence: Find Freedom from Your Thoughts and Emotions

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“To be alive is to totally and openly participate in the simplicity and elegance of here and now.” ~Donald Altman

Embodied presence probably sounds superfluous. How else would we be present but in the body? If we leave our bodies, then we are by definition deceased. No longer present.

The simplicity of this embodied presence idea belies its depth though. The issue isn’t that I’m ever literally disembodied, but that I’m often unaware of my body-mind connection to the point that I’m not sufficiently mindful of the moment.

I know I’m not unique for this. We all do this. …

Believing in Our Goodness: Do You Have Faith in Humanity?

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“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

When we hear someone speak about faith, we usually expect to hear about some kind of subjective encounter with supernatural forces. In our skeptical age, we tend to look at faith as “believing in something you know not to be true,” as Mark Twain expressed.

Before we dismiss any talk of faith, however, we should remember that there are many ways to understand the word. You can have faith in a benevolent, loving deity guiding your every move. But you can also …